He's 14. I'm a lp and also have a ds1 who is 16. Elder ds is out all the time with friends or playing his sport. When he is here, he seeks me out and wants to discuss issues - we both like politics and have similar interests all round. Ds2 is more a typical kid for his age - likes music/social media stuff I'm not interested in, though I do my best to take an interest. He isn't very social and will stay up in his room indefinitely, though I do enforce dinners at the table. Sometimes he's 'on call' to his friends, but just as often he isn't but still just prefers to be upstairs.
I work f/t as a teacher and at this time of year do exam marking as well, which pays for the summer. I work at home most evenings and at weekends - when I also have to catch up with housework (dc do have chores, but so do I!). It becomes easier to just leave ds to it upstairs but then I feel so guilty. If it's a choice between coaxing him down to be met with resistance or having an hour to myself it's so tempting to choose the latter but then I think I'm being lazy. I feel better if he's chatting to friends but if he's not I feel awful and assume they are doing great stuff with their families that I'm too lame to be doing.
When the dc were younger we were out most weekends (they see ex eo weekend, though this is subject to change...) when with me and we did loads. But since ds1 has got busy with his sport./keen to see friends this has fallen away. But ds2 hasn't got a real hobby.
Ex has been especially shit lately and this is their fourth weekend in a row with me, which I in no way regret, but ds1 is out, I'm knackered and ds2 keeps saying 'no' to anything I suggest. What do I do?