The guy I’m seeing deletes my whats apps

[Anon12986]

Am I being unreasonable that I find it weird that the guy I’m seeing deletes some of our whats apps?

I realised this the other day when he accidentally deleted one of his messages he’d sent for me and him instead of just him. He immediately said sorry didn’t mean to delete for me as well. I asked why he was deleting messages as I thought it was strange and his response was he liked to scroll up our conversations and deleting some meant he could get to the more fun texts quicker, so basically in my eyes saying he likes to delete the boring texts. I still found this weird but it really played to a paranoia I have that he’s only really wants to talk to me for the flirty texts and doesn’t actually value me for me etc. I raised this and he said he keeps the flirty ones and the fun bantery ones we have. I obviously haven’t asked to see which he’s kept as that feels crazy. But I just can’t decide if this is seriously weird behaviour and if i’m over reacting by feeling really disrespected. I don’t know anyone else who goes through what’s apps and deletes messages.

Yeah, that sounds implausible. I agree with you.

Does he act like there’s someone else?

what name does he have you saved as?

Yep I agree too. He is saying that he finds the chat boring apart from flirty stuff

For me it would depend how tidy he is otherwise. If he keeps a similar system for emails and photos or not.

I do that. I keep nice personal messages; I delete the "what time is dinner?" type ones.

Interesting, do you not find that more effort than it’s worth (that’s not meant in a critical way), just as someone who’s never done deleted messages ufifififiifiififififififiifififiiififi

I immediately thought he's deleting the flirty ones because he has a girlfriend/wife/partner who he doesn't want seeing them.
Can you remember what the message said that he deleted?

We aren’t exclusive so there could be. I guess your point is maybe he’s deleting to hide the messages from someone else, it’s very possible but he selected two and only deleted them. It feels like you’d just clear the whole conversation in one go.

It's not really any effort. I read the message, reply and delete it if it's not something I want to keep. It's literally no more effort than just closing it without deleting.

And if I've got an odd couple of minutes because I'm waiting for something, I might have a quick scan through and delete anything I no longer want.

I think it's more odd that people don't delete messages that have served their purpose. It's just more stuff cluttering your phone and making the stuff you actually want to refer to harder to find.

Do you have an answerphone? Do you delete message on that? No different.

I'd think this too. Like he's deleting the evidence.

it was 2 and they were the most generic messages, nothing risky about them.

I would assume he's deleting them all for himself and just accidentally outed himself for those two.

Absolute bullshit he's deleting to keep the flirty ones easier to find. He's keeping you secret from someone else I'm afraid.

But he isn't. He's keeping the flirty ones. Or did I misunderstand that?

I always delete WhatsApp messages! Only keep ones that I may need to view again.

I agree, I hate clutter, delete it if you don’t need/ want it anymore. It’s quite flattering that he likes to keep your flirty ones!

That's what he says he's doing

Yeah he’s apparently keeping the flirty ones. Which I don’t know if I find more or less insulting. 😩

To me it seems unusual but not weird or suspicious. His explanation sounds reasonable and it’s not showing any lack of appreciation for your relationship to delete the boring messages and keep only the ones that make him smile.

I often find myself scrolling back through pages of ‘home 7.30’ type messages to find information I need so I’m actually thinking about trying this myself now.

I just don’t see what’s wrong with this at all. He’s keeping the messages that make him feel happy about your relationship. Do you treasure all his messages equally?

It’s really hard for me because I’m probably more sentimental than your average person and I’d never think of deleting something someone I care about said to me. I do value some messages more than other and I star them so I can find them easily.

How long have you been seeing him? Have you been round to where he lives? Have you met any of his friends or family?

I would assume he's deleting them to hide them from someone.

I selectively delete messages too - doesn't everyone?

I really don't need to keep the "what time are we meeting" ones and I'd rather use my storage space for something actually important to me.

My 85 year old dad deletes some WhatsApp messages. It's like he's actually secretly working for GCHQ 😂

So do I, and absolutely nothing to hide.

How long have you been seeing him for? Do you suspect he's playing the field? Do you feel like he values you or just wants sex?