To be embarrassed that I did nothing?

[Sad1001]

And that I am terrible in an emergency?
Was travelling into work today, was raining and bus was packed.
As it got nearer to my stop, I stood by the exit just so I could get off at my stop easily.
Just before my stop, there was a loud bang and a woman was on the floor having tripped. She hadn't made a sound and the woman next to me asked if she was OK. Before she could reply, another woman literally pushed me out of the way, and the hurt woman said she was sure she had broken her wrist. So the bus was then stopped, an ambulance called etc.
I just feel like I acted really coldly. With all honesty, even if nobody else had stepped in, I am not sure I could have done out of shyness, awkwardness but also fear. No excuse but I have a phobia of hospitals and bone breaks.
Spent the whole day beating myself up and not really sure why I am posting but felt the need to do so.

I once knew someone who farted uncontrollably when nervous, poor man. He was very embarrassed about it. The body is a very strange thing.

You're the one judging people for their involuntary reactions during stressful situations and telling them to go learn a better way to react.

@BadNomad and what is wrong with suggesting that it is possible to improve one's acute stress response? I have had therapy myself and can attest that it works.

As with many things, it’s not the core message it’s how and when you are choosing to deliver it.

I think your reaction was totally normal OP, presumably it's what most people on the bus did too.

I'd had years of first aid training and was working as a carer but when on a night shift, just the two of us, my colleague had a seizure I was completely useless. It was totally unexpected, no history, she was sat on a chair chatting and then went into a seizure with her head somehow arched over the back of the chair banging her head on the wall, blood pouring out. I completely froze. I knew from my training she needed to be on the floor in the recovery position but my brain just couldn't work out how to get her there from the position she was in. I rang an ambulance straight away but then couldn't tell them the address or give directions and I kept ending the call. It was terrible. I've avoided all first aid training and not worked in care since as I realised I'm completely useless at it and can't be the 'trained first aider' as people will look to me to guide them which I can't do in an emergency even though I know it on paper.

Thankfully the ambulance tracked the call and arrived within minutes and my colleague was completely fine. But it can happen to anyone even with first aid training. I think it's the unexpected context.

I feel like the thread has been de-railed somewhat but to answer your OP, I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about. Many people would have reacted the way you did. We all have different strengths. I'm excellent in a life or death emergency, but I get myself worked up about daft trivial stuff like not being able to find a parking spot!

I am not sure I could have done out of shyness, awkwardness but also fear.

Is this why you haven’t returned to the thread?

Do you generally waste people’s time and stand in the way of people trying to help someone?

Do you generally waste people’s time and stand in the way of people trying to help someone?

This thread is really showing who the kind, empathetic people are.

@hollybubs indeed.

Yes, they’re the ones who don’t stand around and gawk when someone needs help and get out of the way automatically to let others help.

Do you generally waste people’s time and stand in the way of people trying to help someone?

What a stupid, pointless question. Yes, I'm sure OP spends all her free time wandering round looking for emergency situations so she can deliberately place herself in the path of people trying to help.

@Lacucuracha - please take some time to read the thread. Many posters have explained natural responses to shock. This is nothing to do with empathy even though I know people like to armchair diagnose sociopathy. The tunnel vision of some of the viewpoints on here are really something. I have helped and been helped in situations like OP describes numerous times but I’ve never once stood in judgement of those who didn’t. We can never really know someone’s intentions or why they are unable to help.

Comprehension not a strong point for you?

Where did I say she deliberately places herself there?

So if you recognise that her reaction was not deliberate then what was the point of your question? Other than attempting to make someone who has already said they're beating themselves up feel even more like shit.

I haven’t said OP should have helped. I said she should have got out of the way.

Please don’t try and pretend that a lot of people are not just rubberneckers.

@Lacucuracha - there is nothing to suggest that OP was rubber necking. Although I don’t deny people do. She said before the woman could even answer the person who asked if she ok, OP was pushed out the way. It sounds like she was taking a second for her brain to process. You are attributing malice to something where there is no evidence of it.

But the thread you've commented on isn't about someone "rubbernecking". It's very clear from the OP that she froze due to panic and a lack of confidence in her ability to manage the situation. Interesting that you've been quick to mock my comprehension skills but you don't seem to have understood the OP.

I cannot believe the responses on here to a person that had to process their shock before they could help. I am not sure jumping in without thinking is always the best thing anyway. Sometimes incorrectly treating someone could make their worse.

As for laughing in shock, or when overwhelmed by feelings, it is very, very common. I was a passenger in a car accident and laughed uncontrollably even though it was me it had happened to, shock pure shock. I read up about it and suggest a few other people on this thread do too.

I'm the sort that freezes. A few years work decided they needed another first aider and as they had no volunteers I was told I was doing it. I told them I'm no good with blood, breaks or dislocations and have a needle phobia but they insisted. It was a disaster and waste of company money. In the end I just took my name off the first aid poster in the office as I didn't want anyone thinking I'd be any help!

No it’s not. And if you are one of the few to react like this, You’d move away, try to cover what you were doing. It is not normal to stand there laughing so hard tears were running down your cheeks at an elderly man laying bleeding. That poor man to be laying there injured and someone stood laughing hard at him.

if it was normal for lots of people. Using your words, we would see loads of people pissing themselves when they see a road traffic accident or any other accident or injury. We do not.

however there could be an English language barrier here. Normal in English means typical. Standard. If it was typical or standard for a lot of people as said we would see it. Every time someone was rubber necking an accident you’d see folks laughing so hard there were tears streaming down their face; we do not.

@Lillyrosemay You appear quite angry about something just because you haven’t experienced it. I can understand being miffed seeing it in the moment, I very much would, but then I would probably think back to this thread and think maybe they can’t help it and give them the benefit of the doubt. What benefit is there to shaming people for involuntary reactions.

I have a story where I both fought and froze as it were. A man pushed past me on an escalator, tripped and tumbled down the escalator. Without thinking I rushed to the emergency stop and pressed it, but then I froze and I could just feel my adrenaline pumping. Luckily station staff had already rushed to help him at the bottom and thanked me for my quick reactions. I was too shocked to speak, I just stood to one side like a lemon for a moment and then wandered home in a bit of a daze. Other times I have rushed to help when someone fell, called ambulances, collected up belongings etc. There is no predicting your reaction to sudden unexpected events.

I’m not angry or even remotely, I think the written word can often be translated according to one’s own interpretation rather than reality.

She clearly wasn't 'functioning' in that moment though obviously. Her brain was going haywire.

Uncontrollable laughter as a trauma response is very well documented. I don't know why some posters are getting so pissy. It's literally a reflex of the nervous system after a shock and not a malicious or evil pre-meditated thing.

I was in a minor car crash once (not my fault) and I couldn't stop laughing for about 10 mins. It was so weird to experience.

Are you always this hard on yourself! Don’t be!!!