To be embarrassed that I did nothing?

[Sad1001]

And that I am terrible in an emergency?
Was travelling into work today, was raining and bus was packed.
As it got nearer to my stop, I stood by the exit just so I could get off at my stop easily.
Just before my stop, there was a loud bang and a woman was on the floor having tripped. She hadn't made a sound and the woman next to me asked if she was OK. Before she could reply, another woman literally pushed me out of the way, and the hurt woman said she was sure she had broken her wrist. So the bus was then stopped, an ambulance called etc.
I just feel like I acted really coldly. With all honesty, even if nobody else had stepped in, I am not sure I could have done out of shyness, awkwardness but also fear. No excuse but I have a phobia of hospitals and bone breaks.
Spent the whole day beating myself up and not really sure why I am posting but felt the need to do so.

I'm sure you'd have stepped up if no one else had.

But the PP may not have been able to help it. It is a recognised thing that some people react this way, involuntarily, when in this sort of situation. It is as involuntary as crying or sneezing, but with the considerable added burden of having people think you’re horrible.

Sounds like a couple of people were helping and you couldn't have done anything. It doesn't help if people crowd around and get in the way.

Since you were pushed out the way. I'm not sure what you could have done!

If it makes you feel better years ago my Gran had a serious fall and totally smashed up her face. My mum was bringing her home from hospital and stopped at ours to collect something. My sis ran out to see her and just burst out laughing. She has no idea why. My Gran never forgave her and went on and on about it literally for the next 20 years. My sis was quite a highly strung teenager at the time and I think she just got overwhelmed and had a shock. So I'm guessing (hoping!) same applies to you.

Now this is actually strange

But OP as PP says, some people are just good at taking charge. If there hasn’t been anyone else there then you’d have got on with it, even if it took you a beat

Don’t feel bad. We all react differently. I always help in situations like this, but don’t actually know what to do!

Recently I found an elderly man who had fallen in a car park. Lots of blood from a very smashed up face and very shaken up. I had no clue how to actually help, I had my young children with me, so needed to keep an eye on those too. Luckily another couple of people came over and we managed to come up with a plan together to get the help the man needed.

I wouldn’t beat yourself about it OP. We all react differently to a shock situation. I have had times where I’ve rushed to help, and other times by the time my brain has caught up to my eyes other people are already helping so I’ve moved along to get out the way. We are all human with our own things happening and we don’t always react as we’d expect or hope but that’s ok.

OP, I made mistake in my voting, and I wondered if others may have done the same. I wanted to say that I did not think your reaction was unreasonable, but then realised that your question was… ‘to be embarrassed’ To which I would obviously mean to have voted ‘you are being unreasonable to be embarrassed’
if you see what I mean? Sorry, getting myself tangled up! Anyway, what I wanted to say was,I don’t think you did anything wrong at all!

I'm fully aware that it's probably not a normal way to react but I can't help it.

There is no probably about it - it’s not normal and pretty awful way to act

OP you would not be unreasonable if you didn’t do anything because you would be getting in the way of others. You are definitely unreasonable if you still wouldn’t have helped if you were the only one there

There was a journalist on GMB recently who tripped at a train station in London and ended up with a broken hip. He said for a good minute or so not one person checked if he was ok, people were just stepping over him to get to their trains.

Honestly OP on these situations it’s far better to leave it to people who are good with disasters (I am definitely not one of them) rather than flap around like a spare part getting in the way. Don’t beat yourself up

An ambulance for a suspected fractured wrist?🙄

Do you need a step for your high horse

Honestly it's totally normal to feel this way. I remember as a student even though I'd been trained in what to do someone asked me to do an emergency call and all I had to do was pick up the phone and dial 4 numbers and say what was happening and where I completely froze and someone else had to take over. I was so annoyed with myself.

There are very distinct roles in an emergency situation and one of them is clearing away bystanders because people naturally stop and stare. I once had a situation in a very busy waiting room and other patients from away round the corner walked round to see what was going on. Best thing you can do is a CPR/choking course so that if you ever are in an emergency situation you know what to do and won't have that horrible helpless feeling.

I was at a party when DS was 2 and he was at the food table then started to walk away with his back to me but didn't look quite right, I ran over to him and he was choking on skittles, his face was completely blue, without thinking I threw him over my knee and gave him 5 back blows and thankfully dislodged it but my friends beside me were sobbing because they didn't know how to help.

For what? Saying that someone who was hysterically laughing at an elderly man with a bleeding head is awful or that the OP would be unreasonable if she didn’t help when she was the only person there?

Because I stand by both of those things. It’s not about being on any high horse it’s about being a considerate and helpful person

You didn't react quickly but someone did so all was well. Not always the case.

I used to get the Central Line in the rush hour, and one hot day, in the packed tube, a man keeled over, and the people around him inched out of his way as he fell, so he hit the floor. At the next station a couple of men carried him out, put him on a bench and got back on. They just left him there. No idea if he was ok or not.

@Womencanlift - the poster explained that it’s a nervous reaction that they can’t help. It’s obviously a less common reaction but not an unknown one. I’ve heard of others who do this. I don’t think that poster needs to be told she is awful.

DM recalls and has told of a school trip when she was younger where a classmate fell off boarding a ferry. He fell between the concrete wall and the side of the ferry. (Thankfully landed directly in water somehow.) She’s told me a few times how another girl in their class started hysterically laughing to the point of crying and how she couldn’t stop for ages. It wasn’t that she found this funny at all.
I don’t understand and it’s obviously not nice, however it does seem a legitimate uncontrollable reaction for some people.

You should have moved out of the way at least. Sorry but I would have thought you were gormless and I don’t blame the woman pushing you out of the way.

I needed an ambulance for my own broken arm in Paris. The bones (both of them) were splintered and sticking out through a hole in the skin, bleeding heavily. My hand was actually hanging off and we were in a limb salvage situation because of possible disruption to blood supply.

The fracture was just short of my wrist too. Not all fractures, suspected or certain, are simple and some do require an ambulance. I had no other way of getting to hospital but I suppose you will disagree.

Yeesh…. Yeah a lot of these stories are bad.

There really are two types of people in the world. Those that see something and react and those that see something and freeze. I’m honestly ok with those that freeze as I’m not sure how much help they would be.

might I suggest a class or something in first aid?

Terrible advice. It's good you recognised this and next time do better. (It's not being good at something it's being a decent human being, although I suspect if it was only you there you would have helped)

@Clafoutie I think I did the same as you, with the same intention as you!

Oh FFS, can people stop giving the PP who laughed a hard time? It’s quite obvious that it was a completely involuntary shock response that she was sharing in solidarity with the OP. It doesn’t make any of you wanging on about how awful she is seem like compassionate people to have around in a crisis, it just makes you come across as unimaginative, judgemental and sanctimonious.

AndTheSurveySays I almost invariably burst out laughing in the first few moments after I injure myself badly, and I have a medical condition that means my joints dislocate easily so that happens relatively frequently. There’s nothing funny about it , I’m in fucking agony, but my body reacts by laughing at the sheer shock of it. I’ve freaked out my husband and a few first responders in the past but I can no more control it than I can stop my knee or shoulder popping out in the first place.