To sometimes feel depressed about the long years ahead of me?

[Pickingownstrawberries]

I have a 2 year old who I love dearly … but I don’t honestly really massively enjoy spending time with. I know that’s horrible and it isn’t him personally it’s just the endlessness of it all.

The days last forever when it’s just us. And this is the thing, I’m a teacher. So when he starts school it’ll be work then weekends and holidays and never really a chance to switch off apart from the odd day here or there.

I know - it’s parenting and I signed up for it and I honestly try my best. I just didn’t know I’d find it so hard or tiring.

Sorry to have troubled you.

I am a single Mum to twin 5 year olds and I remember feeling similar when mine were your DC's age.
It got a lot better when they started Preschool at 3.5 and, now they are in Reception, I have started to genuinely enjoy parenting a lot of the time (although, both are ND, which adds its own challenges!).

They improve! Once they reach primary age, they are keen to know about everything and are a joy to be with. Then at secondary they start developing their own moral code and opinions, and that’s lovely to watch. You have all the best bits ahead of you!

Work on his independence from the earliest you can! Mine are teenagers now but sooo independent! They cook their meals, pack their bags, travel independently to school and back, sort their social lives, sort their laundry and so on.

I watch so many parents run ragged doing everything for their kids still and look on in horror!

Wont help now but it’s my top tip for the future to get your life back 😄

You always read two things about parenting on MN:

”they’re fine from 10”
“parenting teenagers is the hardest thing I’ve had to do”

Maybe OP is not far off with the ‘relentless’ comment?!

I mean there won’t be respite unless there’s a big age gap or you have just 1 child, and even then only a couple of years 😩😩

Well he's not going to be 2 forever!

You're going to LOVE the teenage years! 😆

I feel your pain, although I'm not a teacher so get to see adults instead during the day. I remember that time all too well where I would log off for the day/weekend and you don't have that feeling of freedom. Instead it's right now off to pick up x from nursery, then bath and bed etc. Was just like more work at that age and then I'd feel bad as I hadn't seen her all day. Once we were in bed it was lovely, all the cuddles before I'd go downstairs and seeing her smiling face. If my husband would say he'd be late home from work I would think it was the worst news ever, which seems ridiculous now. I almost felt trapped in my life at times.
She is now 9 (and I didn't have another child) and my little buddy who I love spending time with (and have done for a few years!). Honestly just push through it, taking it day by day, knowing it is a phase and one day you will be out the other side. Right now she is on her iPad and I've just gone up to see what she's up to and give her a big squeeze and I'm already worrying about when she's a teenager who won't want to know me lol.
But it's totally fine to feel the way you do.
It is hard work, especially when you have 6 weeks to fill soon. Do you have any family to help? Definitely see if there are any clubs as she gets older, so you can have time on your own and don't feel guilty about it. You can do this!!!

It’s comments like that which make me feel quite low to be honest @PurpleButterflyWings . It does seem to be an exchange of one load of exhaustion for another. I’m not really in a great place just at the moment.

So because you're a teacher, and you have long holidays, (your words,) you are miffed because that means you will have to spend more time with your child, than if you did a job where you only get 4 weeks a year?!

But it's a factual comment @Pickingownstrawberries He WON'T be 2 forever. You are acting like he will never get older and you are stuck with a 2 year old forevermore..........

When they hit teenage years i can assure you that your want these days back lol. The conversations are much better with a teen & the choice of tv and things to do.but when the shit hits the fan boy does the shit hit the fan!!! Lol. Enjoy it why its there hun. It really does go quite quickly xx

Every parent I know hates spending too much time with their children. I have colleagues who engineer overnight work trips and attend overseas conferences just to get away from their kids. It’s perfectly normal. 6 weeks with a toddler sounds like a nightmare - kudos to the OP.

It doesn't just go straight from all-consuming toddler to surly teen - the years at primary school I have found to be some of the easiest ones OP. In the holidays, for at least one week you can find a club for a sport or something they enjoy - these open up once they are at primary age.
i do think there's a reason so many female teachers work part time though.

I think you should pay for some childcare if you can possibly afford it. It is gruelling! School holidays are so long! Plan to start sending them to holiday camps as soon as you can, get a babysitter regularly if you can, find friends and family who can help if possible. Don’t suffer it out, try and get some time for yourself.

@PurpleButterflyWings Are you actually going to offer anything helpful to OP who is struggling? Or just make snidey comments and confused faces?

It's tough, OP. I think you're kind of in the thick of the relentlessness right now. DD1 is 4 and while it can be a bit relentless sometimes, she's now of an age she can go off and do stuff herself, she does some (limited) tidying up, I can take her to more interesting stuff for both of us, etc. So I don't think it's like that forever, and the intensity switches from the physical intensity of young children to the more emotional intensity of older kids, which you might find easier in some ways.

Really? Every parent you know?! FFS! 🙄 Well I certainly never felt this way, and neither did anyone else I know.

How depressing and sad, to engineer work trips to get away from your children and family. Do people really do that?

Kudos to the OP? For what?!

Find ten minutes every day to enjoy. Stick him in front of a screen, or put him in a safe place, then go and sit down with a cup of tea, a book, or whatever you want. Even a short bath, if that’s what you enjoy. The clearing up will always be there and so will the tantrums, but it will be a lot easier to cope with them if you find a way of taking a break.

@Hugasauras Let me introduce you to message forums... And people having different views and opinions.............

You may find it hard to grasp. But you will get used to it dear.

Oh I grasp it, I just can't grasp why someone would come on a message forum to purposely be unpleasant to other people. Maybe you could explain that one, 'dear'?

You are in the toughest time. The pre-school years are so relentless. It really does get easier.

They become people who give as well as take. Even as young children I remember mine playing 'beauty parlour' (no idea where they got that idea from as I am very low maintenance and they are both boys) but they used to gently rub cream into my face and hands and brush my hair. It was messy but very sweet! their chuckles of delight at ordinary things like snails or cobwebs covered in rain could lift my spirits when i was low. Their hugs and singing and love of life was so uplifting when I felt like youdo (which was often)

And they become thoughtful and generous. I remember when DS1 who had been a spectacularly self-absorbed and quite hurtful teen, suddenly decided he was taking me out to tea in London. Then DS2 cleaned and tidied my very messy home office while I was away sorting some very sad family matters. DS2 also looked on Ebay in secret for years for a piece of rare pottery I really loved and then bought it as a surprise one mother's day, having saved up for it. In his teens!

They both make me laugh like a drain. We can have great conversations. DS2 helps out around the house occasionally - unasked. DS1 cooks delicious lunches. They both bring cups of tea, offer big hugs, wise advice, introduce me to new music, cafes, comedians and TV shows, advise a lot on fashion, give compliments.

you can look forward to all of this.

I totally get it and it's normal and not unreasonable to feel that way. It's tough at that age.

We used to hire a babysitter on Saturday afternoons for a couple of hours and go out for lunch locally. It was something to look forward to and a time to relax and recharge. A local teenager that everyone in the neighborhood knew and not expensive.

Mine are 19 and 17 now and it's been sooooo much easier since they started secondary despite the occasional teenager issues.

Yes! At the work Christmas party the people with kids stayed out really late - it’s like they’ve negotiated a night off from bathing & bedtime and they’ll be damned if they were going to cut it short. Who knows when the next night off from the circus is going to come.

Oh I grasp it, I just can't grasp why someone would come on a message forum, and post alternative views to many others, and possibly that the OP may not want to hear..... Maybe you could explain that one, 'dear'?

Fixed that for you love.

You're welcome

2 year olds are super hard!

I have a 2 year old, 5 year old and 7 year old. 5 and 7 are moody and bratty sometimes but overall a breeze. My 2 year old is disruptive, needy and overall hard work. He’s lovely too. But the crux of it is, 2 year olds are hard. And not very good company 🤣 whereas you can have reasonable conversations with older kids and take them to more interesting places. Hold in there.

I felt like this.

At 4it all changed. Now I’m desperately attached to both my dc. They become companions, then friends, then adults are preferable to anyone else to hang out with.