To sometimes feel depressed about the long years ahead of me?

[Pickingownstrawberries]

I have a 2 year old who I love dearly … but I don’t honestly really massively enjoy spending time with. I know that’s horrible and it isn’t him personally it’s just the endlessness of it all.

The days last forever when it’s just us. And this is the thing, I’m a teacher. So when he starts school it’ll be work then weekends and holidays and never really a chance to switch off apart from the odd day here or there.

I know - it’s parenting and I signed up for it and I honestly try my best. I just didn’t know I’d find it so hard or tiring.

I empathise. He won’t be two forever. Keep going

I empathise and it’s not mean or unreasonable.

FWIW it gets much easier when they get to around 10 and you see them less or they’re people with opinions and can be fun to do stuff with.

I‘ve had 5 so I know the feeling well.

Totally reasonable.

It is incredibly hard at that age, especially on your own.

Are you eating and sleeping? Is there anyone who can take her for a night whilst you sleep/rest?

It gets better, really. You have past the worst of it already. In just three short years she will have an independent space at school and you will have all the fun of hearing about her day.

He won’t be two forever, and you don’t have to be a teacher forever if the job is just a grind and contributing to how you feel. Lots of transferable skills there.

I really hope you’re right! It’s just so relentless isn’t it in a way that’s hard to explain or get across.

I confess I found the years between them getting mobile and starting school pretty tough going!

For me, once my youngest got to about eight, life was a lot easier. I made sure they were capable of getting their own drinks, snacks etc so I wasn't up and down all day. They can dress themselves, put on their own shoes, get themselves in and out if the car etc. Reliably sit still and watch a TV programme without starting chaos. It just becomes less groundhog day in general.

Her being eight, right up to my eldest leaving for uni - happiest years of my life hands down.

If I were you, I wouldn't feel guilty about signing him up for the odd holiday club, once he gets to that age, so you get some recharge time. Every day for six weeks might be a bit mean but the odd day, perfectly fine and reasonable!

It feels like forever now and its ok to feel a bit down but just keep powering through. "This too will pass" was my mantra during those times.

Check out the other thread on AIBU Parents of older children: if yuu had your Pre schooler back for one day what would you do? (Lighthearted feel good please) its really sweet and heartwarming and some posts will make you sit back and realise there are certain things that will only last a few more months and you will miss when they are gone. Its very rose tinted though, I wouldn't swap with you now if I'm honest. Just push on and try and pencil in things that you enjoy, even if its a brief time of the day, it will give you something to focus on when it feels neverending.

I saw that thread but I think it’s maybe because I’m in the thick of it I didn’t find it sweet but fear inducing

I do know what you mean but I don’t know what the answer is! If I could maybe have the moments without the endless endless clearing up and the tantrums …

And thank you @CluelessHamster . Sometimes I do feel a bit pessimistic and like everyone finds it easier than me. So it helps to read posts that say this isn’t the case!

Sorry if I'm being dim, but I don't understand the relevance of being a teacher. Surely whatever job you do, you're either at work or looking after your child (unless you're a SAHM with school age kids)?

Anyway, I agree with others - it will get easier! Two is a tricky age.

I think the relevance is that I have very long holidays, especially the summer one. Of course it could get easier, I really hope so!

It gets lots better OP! Make sure you’re getting quality time out to recharge.

And before you know it he will want to spend all day in his room on this phone, or our with his mates and you will have plenty of time for yourself. The toddler years are relentless, but they don't last long. Of course that is easy to say once you are out of them ;)

This is probably being exacerbated by end of year exhaustion. It takes a week to get yourself into a manageable holiday routine, but it's so much easier than during term time- it's nothing like trying to manage a weekend in between two teaching weeks.

Also, top tip: get yourself a job at a private school- I break up almost 2 weeks before my kids!

Haha more likely be the other way around! Jammy sod!

It’s the fact that your work also revolves around children I think. I used to love working with kids (former TA) but I’m not sure I could do it now I have my own- I really appreciate being able to talk to adults and sit in peace when I’m at work without anyone needing to tell me about their very important booger or that Smethany isn’t sharing the Lego

Yes that’s an element of it. And I don’t want to be slaughtered here but the teaching day is just so full on and manic as well.

Ha ha at “Smethany”!

I understand what you mean. I remember my mother saying to me when mine were small how quickly it goes: "One minute they're 2 the next they're nearly 30". At the time, I didn't really get what she was saying as I was in the thick of it with nappies/tantrums/routines, etc.

Now my dd has her prom tonight, and my other only has 2 years left at school. It really did fly by only you don't realise until you look back! Now I know what my mother meant!

Oh God, there probably are some Smethanys and I’ve just massively insulted their parents.

Honestly, OP it’s tough as you’re going along but then one day you wake up and wonder where 19 years of your life went and how that small person is now an adult. I have huge regrets now for wishing it away, for wishing they would grow, for not holding on to and enjoying every minute.

Don’t be hard on yourself but try and enjoy a few moments along the way. Making memories is an over used phrase but it’s more for your benefit than theirs.

The days are long.......................sometimes very long.

But the years are short.

Gretchen Rueben.

Blink and he’ll be a teenager. I swear I have no idea where the years went. Mine are all over 10 years and I have to basically do nothing besides feed them and give them lifts.
treasure these times you’ll miss it when it’s over

That’s 2 year olds- hardest age imo- won’t last forever

I know the days are long and the years are short quote and it is true in a way, but it does not make the days pass any quicker or be any easier. All it does is try to make you feel bad for not enjoying it.