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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age did your child come home to an empty house after school?

82 replies

Maztek · 29/06/2023 14:54

As in, let them selves in with a key and was home alone for half and hour- hour and a half. At what age would you feel that was appropriate?

OP posts:
BunsenBurnerBaby · 29/06/2023 14:56

For us, secondary school. But I WFH most of the time and had sibs who could physically fight so I would say it reached depends on the situation and the child and your and their comfort level and maturity.

Beezknees · 29/06/2023 14:58

11, when he started secondary school. As a lone parent I really had no other choice, I had to work. He was fine, just went on the PlayStation. I always got him to text me when he got home, my employer was understanding and let me check my phone to make sure he was there.

MissAmbrosia · 29/06/2023 14:58

When she started secondary school - so 12. She had a phone and knew to go next door if there were any problems. Forbidden to touch the cooker at the age.

Done2much · 29/06/2023 14:59

You know your own child best but my youngest was just under 10, we lived in a small village and my neighbour was on hand. We live in different times now, this was over 20 years ago so maybe not relevant

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 29/06/2023 15:00

Secondary school. My older 2 often have different inset days & half day finishes to the school I work at/my younger 3 attend, so are on their own til we finish. Dc1 used to beat me home by 20/30 minutes in y6 too, because of staggered pick up times due to Covid.

BringOnSummerHolidays · 29/06/2023 15:00

Secondary school, so 11.

SybilWrites · 29/06/2023 15:06

Mine never have had to due to the switch to wfh with the pandemic (and before that I had a live in au pair), but now I have been leaving my then 10 and 14 year olds alone together if I'm out at meetings (they're now 11 and 15).

My 11 year old will be able to be alone next year when she's at secondary.

Niftyswiftie · 29/06/2023 15:10

Mine just has this school year which is year 8. He is 13.

GeriatricMumma · 29/06/2023 15:11

11 for all of them.

All mature. None were allowed to cook at home alone until 15

Oxborn · 29/06/2023 15:11

11

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 29/06/2023 15:12

Me and my brother were 10 and 11.

That was many years ago tho!

Totally depends on each child and family setup, surely.

Some kids will be totally ready at 10, some later?

elliejjtiny · 29/06/2023 15:13

Mine haven't needed to yet. But they have SN so it's different anyway.

EdithWeston · 29/06/2023 15:14

Once as a one-off in yr 6 aged 11 (because Stuff came up and I couldn't split myself in two)

Then routinely from start of secondary school (as I had to pick up younger siblings from primary, timings variable because of after school activities)

arethereanyleftatall · 29/06/2023 15:14

11

HighEndGrifters · 29/06/2023 15:17

Never.

Magenta65 · 29/06/2023 15:17

11, we text or called to say home and door was locked. Later on we could cook for ourselves but until my mother could absolutely trust us if we used the cooker we have to let her know when it was off and switch off at the wall. Eventually she bought an air fryer which helped a lot, especially school holidays when she worked.

areyouhavinglaugh · 29/06/2023 15:19

10/11 depends how sensible they are! My eldest didn't mind for an hour or 2, but the youngest always has someone here, older siblings and me now wfh

Yabbadabbadotime · 29/06/2023 15:22

11 routinely after school (y7). 9/10, starting from being left for short periods (5-10mins while i pop to corner shop etc) building up to longer periods getting ready for secondary.

DrunkenKoala · 29/06/2023 15:24

DS was 10 when he used to leave me and DD in the park (two mins from our house) on our way home from school. He’d play on his Xbox. DD and I would get home about 20 mins later.
We then had lockdowns so he was probably 12 before he was left for a couple of hours.

InMySpareTime · 29/06/2023 15:28

Mine got door keys for their 10th birthdays but DS walked back from school from Y2 as there were no roads to cross and I was at DD's school picking her up. He had about 10 minutes to wait for us by the door, but sometimes he'd walk a bit of the way towards the other school and meet us sooner.
By the time DD was 10 I was home anyway to meet her, but she wanted a key.

redspottedmug · 29/06/2023 15:35

By default, when the youngest was in Year 6. 7 minutes walk, crossing patroller and pelican crossing, plenty of other parents and kids around. They would be home by about 3.25. Their older siblings would usually be home between 4- 4.30. And a parent home by about 5.30.
They were all happy with this and we had lovely neighbours, and grandparents 2 minutes walk away if there was an issue.

flumposie · 29/06/2023 15:36

11 at secondary school.

Original poster
Maztek · 29/06/2023 15:47

My daughter is 9. She stays home alone for short periods now but my hours are changing next week and there’s going to be about an hour on a Friday where she will need to walk home and let herself in. I trust her completely. Just worried that someone will phone social services on me! She knows the rules and we have lots of neighbours that she is friendly with.

OP posts:
redspottedmug · 29/06/2023 15:50

MY DC's fear was losing the door key or struggling with the lock. Can she practice?

redspottedmug · 29/06/2023 15:51

And can she contact you? Phone of her own?