Page 2 | What age did your child come home to an empty house after school?

Original poster

Maztek · 29/06/2023 16:13

Yes she’s fine using a key, I got her a key a few weeks ago to practise. It’s more just me with the worries I think!

OP posts:

Zanatdy · 29/06/2023 16:28

All 11, but DS1 almost 12, DS2 just 11 in the August and DD 11.5yrs old. All got the bus home from school then too

whatsinanameeh · 29/06/2023 16:52

11

I had no choice. No family in this country and no after school clubs for 11+ like they have for primary kids. I encourage enrichment clubs after school but he is commonly home for 30 minutes to 90 minutes several times a week.

arethereanyleftatall · 29/06/2023 16:54

Go for it op. It's only once a week, everyone's happy, it's good for her

GeriatricMumma · 29/06/2023 16:55

Maztek · 29/06/2023 15:47

My daughter is 9. She stays home alone for short periods now but my hours are changing next week and there’s going to be about an hour on a Friday where she will need to walk home and let herself in. I trust her completely. Just worried that someone will phone social services on me! She knows the rules and we have lots of neighbours that she is friendly with.

If you think she is mature enough then go for it.

TimeToMoveIt · 29/06/2023 17:00

10 but didn't need to before that age

KohlaParasaurus · 29/06/2023 17:03

My children never did. We always had a parent or an au pair collect them from school or be at home when they got in.

When I was a child I was coming home to an empty house by the time I was 8. Sometimes the house wasn't empty but I was expected to kick my heels outside until Dad got home from work an hour later to avoid disturbing Mum when she was asleep between night shifts. When my younger sisters started school it was assumed that I'd look after them too. None of this was considered unusual at the time.

ColdHandsHotHead · 29/06/2023 17:07

I was 10, and I had to keep an eye on my 7 year old brother for an hour until my father got home from work (mother was working evenings).

DuvetCoverNightmare · 29/06/2023 17:15

Age 9 in what school year?

I think I’d rather after school club than coming home alone at that age.

RatherBeRiding · 29/06/2023 17:16

Second half of year 6 probably so 10/11 for an hour or so till I got home from work.

Fuckitydoodah · 29/06/2023 17:22

It hasn't happened yet buy when DD starts secondary next year she'll have to catch the bus home and be alone several days a week for up to 2.5hrs. After school care seems to cease once they're 11. She'll be almost 12.

Workyticket · 29/06/2023 17:24

Mine is 11, year 6

He comes home once a week with 3 / 4/ sometimes 5 mates one night a week. They play / chill / eat everything not nailed down.

They started in January. They're home alone from 4pm - 5.50pm ish, then we feed them and ship them out

The odd time he comes home on his own if clubs are cancelled or if 1 of his grandparents are away. They pick him up a couple of times a week usually.

I feel like it's a nice mix of adults there for him, down time with his pals and independent time

cptartapp · 29/06/2023 17:25

Towards the end of Year six. We live semi rurally too so it was a decent walk, part of it along a country lane with no footpath.

DoeRayMe · 29/06/2023 17:26

Towards the end of year 6 just prior to summer holidays. They were starting secondary school soon and primary school was much closer to home

BogRollBOGOF · 29/06/2023 17:27

9 (start of y5) DS1 needs support coming home from secondary school, and DS2 has a short, safe route from his primary. He's only in for about 10 mins before us. He tended to run off ahead off us last year and is more independently minded than DS1. Occasionally he's rung me from the landline if he's wanted to talk as soon as he gets in and we trained phone calls and managing the door in advance.

Now he's 10, he's happier on his own for a bit longer and he's usually fine for about 30- 60 mins on his own or a bit longer with DS1 for company.

Different children have their own comfort zones. DS1 likes being on his own much more, but doesn't like being out on his own much.

Facefortheradio · 29/06/2023 17:32

Secondary but only because primary was so bloody far away they couldn't do it without me. Massively busy roads to cross.
They come home together (or separately if there's an after school thing for one of them) about twice a week to an empty house. Youngest is Y7.
House rules are no fire, no sharps, no answering the door and if a disagreement breaks out - separate rooms pronto. I think they get on better without us present.

We started leaving youngest (11) alone when he was about 9 while we popped out for 10 minutes here and there. We have. Big dog which helps!

Original poster

Maztek · 29/06/2023 17:45

The problem with after school club here is she’s not allowed to walk home from there alone. And I just won’t have time to collect her and get the toddler from nursery (otherwise of the city!) as they both finish at the same time and with traffic I’d never make it. School she walks home by herself (we live literally 30 seconds away). I think I’m just being over cautious. She will be fine. She knows not to cook anything or answer the door. I know full well she will be straight on the iPad and playing Minecraft anyway!

OP posts:

gogomoto · 29/06/2023 17:58

Periodically from 11 but I worked pt so mostly it was school holidays rather than after school unless I had an event on (mostly they were weekends) they could stay on the bus and meet me at work if they preferred on these occasions, i could always have them in my office as could exh - fortunate!

Niftyswiftie · 29/06/2023 18:09

9 years old is too young in my opinion.

HollyBookBlue · 29/06/2023 18:10

I was 9. Mum would get home maybe half an hour after I did. I remember being scared when I was home alone. But I was sensible enough to be physically safe (not cooking, using kettle etc)

I work from home so not necessary for DD. She was nervous about being left home alone until she was around 11, so we didn't.

Follow your DC's lead about what they're comfortable with.

Summerslimtime · 29/06/2023 18:11

9 and 10, years 5 and 6. Up to an hour either side of school day. I'm sure we were judged by lots of parents, but they're very sensible children and I could not afford to lose my job. They've been great.

TheWalrusdidbeseech · 29/06/2023 18:11

Maztek · 29/06/2023 14:54

As in, let them selves in with a key and was home alone for half and hour- hour and a half. At what age would you feel that was appropriate?

as always, depends on the child and the circumstances.

If you are 2 doors down from your grand-parents in your peaceful village, it's not quite the same as locked in a flat with strict instructions not to answer to the local bullies / gang members.

TheWalrusdidbeseech · 29/06/2023 18:13

Maztek · 29/06/2023 15:47

My daughter is 9. She stays home alone for short periods now but my hours are changing next week and there’s going to be about an hour on a Friday where she will need to walk home and let herself in. I trust her completely. Just worried that someone will phone social services on me! She knows the rules and we have lots of neighbours that she is friendly with.

can you call her, or have her call you, to check she's home safe at least?

Do you have someone who could walk back if she's running too late to check?

PoppyFleur · 29/06/2023 18:16

I was 9 when I used to let myself in. I was home for about an hour or so before my older sibling or my mum came home. To be honest I would switch on the tv and barely notice that an hour had flown by before someone came home.

hoophoophooray · 29/06/2023 18:22

From Y6 onwards for the oldest. From Y5 onwards for the youngest, but her older siblings are home only 20min after she is. I'll happily leave any combination of the 3 of them (one in between those two as well) for up to an hour, and the older two are now home alone on strike days etc unless I can wangle a day WFH