AIBU to say private school children are much sportier & better musicians?

[Denimrevival]

Just on the back of comparing with friends & family with dc in private schools. The kids & their families are all naturally sporty & outdoorsy anyways but the school provides a vast range of sports with it's own pool & swim team.
Musically their kids all play 2 or three instruments all at least grade 4 or 5..
How do these private schools do the academics, music & sports to such a high standard? Do they also have a very good base if the kids are having sport & music reinforced outside school through their families lifestyles?

Not really sticking your neck out as very highly probable. No, I think you can pretty much guarantee that rock/indie/hip hop/drum and bass and pop have hardly any- so a majority of talented musicians are not privately educated!

@Goldenbear why is it a race to the bottom ie only valuing education for children if it involves being disrupted, threatened with knives etc? Because that somehow is to be valued above positive learning environments?
Are you saying that people can only be creative if they are in hostile situations? I would be more inclined to value your opinion if you could show me longitudinal studies which evidence your standpoint.
It is incredibly arrogant to ascert that private children have "all difficult experiences airbrushed out". Does this also include the private SEN schools too?
Of course private school buys privilege but it doesn't get rid of every negative experience/challenges for the DC.

We don’t have children yet but what you’ve described is exactly what DP and I want for a future DC. Part of the reason we’re holding off having a child just yet is because we want to very comfortably afford top private school fees (ie not just about) so that there’s no risk we can’t send DC and have to go with state!

That being said DP’s family wouldn’t let a grandchild not be privately educated so would step in to help.

I’ve only ever seen the inverted snobbery on MN - everyone we know aspires to send their children to a private school.

I’m glad your daughter had such a great experience!

Because its cool to pretend this is a positive thing for your kids.

it’s a pity that state schools can’t throw a ton of money at a select few kids and Chuck out the ones who aren’t good enough?

@Goldenbear i think the following privately educated people would argue that they didn't have to experience negative learning environments in order to be creative:

Coldplay, Lily Allen, Jamie T, Jack Peñate, Florence Welch, the Maccabees, Laura Marling and Mumford & Sons, Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Laurie, Damian Lewis, Eddie Redmayne and Dominic West.

Just to name a few!

I'm sorry but in no stretch of the imagination is private school the 'real world'.

If you go to a private school you do no one very clear fact about that person- that their parents are wealthy and that they are in the elite 7% of the population of Britain that go to private school. However, you look at it that is a fact.

I would say money talks and if you have the money to.send your child to.private school.you probably also m have the money to.spend on expensive hobbies

Unless they are on a bursary or have SEN (as in attend private SEN school where fees are paid by the government) in which case they won't pay! You would have no way of knowing whether someone who went to private school paid for all, some or none of their fees.
I think it is obvious you have zero experience of private schools, or indeed the majority of state schools, going by your ludicrous assertions.

Well firstly we are discussing musicians not actors, that actors went to private school is not exactly a shocker.

Secondly, does these represent the 'best musicians' the country has produced, arguably not.

It's about 15 percent or more at 6th form

My kids live in a world that's real to them. At the end of the day we all live in our little 'real' world. No, people bringing knives to school or being consistently aggressively disruptive isn't their world and nor should it have to be.

In your opinion! The OP never asked "which schools produce the best musicians in the UK"......

You can never "airbrush out" things like parents with cancer, siblings dying, life changing accidents, divorce...

In my experience, parents provided the motivation and means for a child to learn a sport or instrument, the school then provided a decent team, band or orchestra for the pupil to showcase their skill. The school benefitted from the good publicity, enhanced their reputation, and could attract more talent.

Had drinks with some private school mums recently one who commented “how lovely it is to wake up to the sound of your teen practising their instrument”.

I have teens and sadly really really can’t relate.

I work in Finance in London, and trust me, private education is the real world in this environment.

As PP said, there is no single ‘real world’. The question is which real world do you want your children to grow up in.

This kind of reminds me of the "real women have curves" conversation that happens on here a lot. Thin women are also real women. Having a private school education is just as "real life" as not, and there is no moral high ground about allowing your child to suffer in a poorly maintained, violent or threatening environment if you don't have to. I am not remotely suggesting that all state schools are like that. I've taught in plenty that aren't, but I moved my kids to private out of necessity for their physical and mental health due to the inadequate provision near me.

We don’t have children yet but what you’ve described is exactly what DP and I want for a future DC. Part of the reason we’re holding off having a child just yet is because we want to very comfortably afford top private school fees (ie not just about) so that there’s no risk we can’t send DC and have to go with state!

That being said DP’s family wouldn’t let a grandchild not be privately educated so would step in to help.

I’ve only ever seen the inverted snobbery on MN - everyone we know aspires to send their children to a private school.

Well, you’re not really living in the same world as most people in the country, are you? “DP’s family would’t leta grandchild not be privately educated”? No wonder everyone you know aspires to private.

Just to be clear. No matter how long they held off, most people in this country could not afford any private school, comfortably or otherwise. Not even if we gave ip holidays and wine. So it’s a bit tasteless to flaunt your privileged position

My DDs were both state school educated. Both play 2 instruments to grade 7/8 standard (or did) and 1 of them also play 2 more instruments - 1 self taught and 1 to grade 5 (when we put a stop to lessons but she carried on playing in orchestra).
Both are poor at team sports - although both good swimmers.
I do feel that private school would have given them more confidence and better networking prospects but not much more.
Both have 1st class degrees and both have good careers.

It’s going to depend on the private school - at the super-selectives (and super-selective grammars) the competition is fierce enough that they can just select children who are already highly academic AND play a musical instrument to grade 7 AND play sport at a county level. And parents know this, so tutor their children within an inch of their lives from Reception to get them in. Most kids from Random Nurturing Non-Academic Prep have no chance of getting into St Paul’s either, any more than state-educated kids do.

In the non-selectives, it is just about exposure and more time. If your children did sport every day, and had compulsory instrument tuition/orchestra/choir as part of their normal school day, they would be sporty and musical too.

DS’s state primary has compulsory, free violin/cello lessons from year 2 to year 6, and unsurprisingly there are a lot of kids at grade 5 in the school as a result.

Another local state school does bilingual immersion, and the children there are at GCSE level by year 6. Not because they are all born linguistists, just because they’ve spent four hours a week learning the language for the past 7 years.

Absolute twaddle.

I personally know low income people who have been saving for secondary school fees since their child was born. The idea that only the privileged go private is an MN myth.

It’s perfectly possible to thrive at state school but parents have to put more effort in as the extras you get at private you need to source and either pay for or inculcate yourself- the state won’t do it - not anymore anyway. And that includes manners / confidence/ social skills / sports / activities - state school parents need to do all that in house.

@Usernamen which was exactly our situation when we started saving up 8 years ago but that doesn't fit into the narrative of private school for some people. Usually people who have zero knowledge or experience of private schools.

Not saying all.state schools are like this, but @Goldenbear , having to spend all day in an environment where its normalised to skive off, be aggressive to teachers, bring in weapons,.smoke weed at school isn't real life either. You can't do any of that in the workplace when you leave school and get a job and presumably its not something you'd want to deliberately expose your children to when not at school. It's just a weird, slightly unpleasant atmosphere you might have to live through for a few years. It's about as 'real' as being captain of the lacrosse team and wearing black tie to a dinner party.

"Well firstly we are discussing musicians not actors, that actors went to private school is not exactly a shocker."
Really? Surely it should be. Why not?