AIBU to say private school children are much sportier & better musicians?

[Denimrevival]

Just on the back of comparing with friends & family with dc in private schools. The kids & their families are all naturally sporty & outdoorsy anyways but the school provides a vast range of sports with it's own pool & swim team.
Musically their kids all play 2 or three instruments all at least grade 4 or 5..
How do these private schools do the academics, music & sports to such a high standard? Do they also have a very good base if the kids are having sport & music reinforced outside school through their families lifestyles?

I’m not “telling myself that” Walrus I am going through the process with dd1 right now. They don’t want to know about any of those things it’s super curricular dedication to your subject that’s relevant. They are also unimpressed by anything that just demonstrates they you have wealthy parents impressed by kid self starting and getting their own job etc .

But then Dh and I are lowly state educated oiks who somehow ended up at Cambridge (Dh only) and City law firms so honestly your school doesn’t make a difference to where you end up even less so now! Agree the sport is def better at private but you can set that up out of school it’s just more effort.

Do you know any teens at private schools? Because I know quite a few and none of them are like this. They're polite and engaging and often brilliant, well rounded people. They are from more 'normal' middle/upper class families rather than the uber elite though.

They have amazing facilities, smaller classes, longer school days and don't take many challenging children.

DS goes to an activity with private boarding school kids and while he doesn't think they are brighter he says the behaviour is much better. They had dinner together and DS said everyone had to leave their phones and ear buds on a table as they went in and NO ONE nicked anything or messed around. It would have been pinched at his state school.

The teen in my family who went to private school dropped out, took no part in any sports or extra curriculars and has no friends as they all live miles from each other. His parents massively regret sending him. It's really sad actually. My teen is at the local comp, plays competitive sports, has loads of friends and a busy social life, in part because all his friends since nursery/primary are also neighbours.

Yes. I see/ interact with them every weekday and that is what I have witnessed from them and their parents ever since I shared a school bus with them as a teenager.
I even had a disagreement with a private school parent on Monday and you would not believe the entitled bollocks that came out of his mouth but not one ounce of empathy or remorse for what he had done (and he was entirely at fault).
But wait, his excuse was “I have children at this school.” This was nowhere near said hallowed private school.

Both my schools had a lot of compulsory PE. You didn't have to be naturally sporty to have a pretty good base level of fitness, and we did a lot of drills and strategy training. Much easier to build on that than if you only do an hour a week and keep swapping sports.

Music is a bit different. Everybody I know who played instruments learned outside school (or with a peripatetic teacher inside school). We did have a lot of musical teachers though which helped — our jazz band was run by a language teacher for example.

Quite a few times we have had to provide musical support , arrangements etc for productions for local schools because there is not one member of staff who can read or play music

A friend of mine is a primary school teacher. She's also done a lot of work with SN provision which she thought would be discussed at interview. But no — they were just desperate to know if she could play the piano well enough for assemblies/school plays etc!

At my prep school we had pianos in the classrooms in infants, and most of the teachers and teaching assistants played well enough to lead a sing-song.

@Denimrevival my DD got a scholarship. I could never afford £6720 per term. That is today's price. It would have been less when she went. I used to struggle to pay the extras stationery, dt materials, activity charges and extortionate uniform cost. I used the second hand uniform shop and it was still extortionate. She did have a very happy childhood/school days though and made some great friends. We used to have her Chinese friend over some half terms because it was too far to fly home for two weeks. I used to have her over for dinner sometimes too. Her Chinese friend has hosted her in China several times and the family insisted on paying for her air fares every time she's been. She is still in contact with her. Also she has a Spanish friend who we hosted one year on an exchange trip and my DD stayed with her in Spain and they still now, go across and stay at each others houses. Both are very good friends now and I was invited to her Spanish friend's wedding too. If she went to the local comp I doubt she would have met those friends. Her Chinese friend/family is fabulously wealthy though and went ott at my DD wedding on her wedding gift.

mate I can't afford private school for my kids, but I am not bitter about it.

However I see a lot of CV and see the benefits and boost it gives people. I work on making sure my own kids are not left too far behind because they didn't get the same start in life.

It's childish to deny the opportunities, as it would be childish or incredibly naive to deny the difference it makes to be in an outstanding state school as opposed to a failing one, and I am not talking about a nonsensical Ofsted report.

Of course they are. I've worked at private and state schools.

Private schools often pay for drama, sports, music specialists to come in and do both lessons and extra-curricular activities. The children will then be competing against children who have experienced similar. The parents will also have the money to support pupils interests outside of school too.

In state primary schools, one teacher teaches everything. I'm a shit musician, can't sing and am crap at sports. Obviously I work hard to overcome these obstacles and provide good lessons but the fact remains that a child taught music by me, who's parents can't afford extra music tuition, is at a serious disadvantage compared to a similar child at a private school.

this just in: children with better access to sports facilities and instruments are shockingly more skilled than those without. who would have thought it?

Glad I'm not alone 🤣🤣🤣

State schools are consider factory fodder for the upper classes and earners, just here to serve and do the jobs they don't want to do, why would the government be interested in levelling the playing fields

I know about music. My kid was privately educated. All children got individual instrumental lessons from year 3, those with an aptitude carried on. In my local state school there are no instrumental lessons, in some others in the county there are whole class lessons for one term. Mine is now studying music at a conservatoire and it's 100% due to the opportunities from his primary school. A lot of his friends from county youth orchestras were privately educated but there are still plenty from state schools.
Sport is probably similar- he did plenty at school but now does sod all,

God DH and I must be abysmal failures then.

No sport and not an instrument between us.

I finished not even knowing what sport the 'First 11' were playing.

I worked at an independent school in Birmingham. In the summer they had cricket lessons at Edgbaston in the indoor nets. Of course there will be a cost to this. I don't suppose local Birmingham comps can afford the Edgbaston indoor net prices for PE lessons.

If you think “We” should include more sport and music,

you are asking for more money to be taken by force from people struggling with the cost of living

and spent on admin and bureaucracy as much as music and sport

Maybe struggling taxpayers want to prioritise their food bills mortgages over bureaucracy, music and sport?

And the impact would be to increase the costs of music and sport for anyone doing it outside the system. Govt would probably regulate it too.

It must be down to breeding and poshness quotient, nothing to do with the cost of lessons or anything.......🙄

This.

Natural aptitude rises to the top regardless of background. Indeed I would imagine some of the best footballers have very humble beginnings. Perhaps they strive harder given that.

It's incredibly naive to believe that "your school doesn't make a difference". Of course it does.

It's not about learning the recorder or doing a bit of netball after school, it's the general knowledge, experience, work experience, the confidence and skills you gain.

I see a lot of CV. They are not "blind", you can get a rough idea of the background.

If it wasn't true, why would parents spend so much effort and resources on putting their kids into the best state school they can?

My children will get more sporting and musical options (and hopefully better ones) by not going to a private school because I will have more money to select teachers and coaches for the sports that suit them.

Club sport is generally better than school sport.

Obviously some parents can afford both private school and sports/music.

It would be good if state schools still had decent playing fields but most sporting success comes from parents seeking out clubs and not through school.

This feels beyond obvious.

Because it gets a stronger focus. My siblings kids are private and they are expected to spend most of their Saturdays doing sport. They do more, they get better.

There are also scholarships and bursaries for kids the school think they can show off like prestigious little trophies.

Parents put money in, kids get better resources, kids get better results. Not rocket science.

Plus, if you really want to put the boot in for the poor little state school children compared to their excelling private school peers, perhaps you can even make a nice little link to poverty and obesity and attainment.

Not necessarily. Take Jamie Roberts for example. Wales and British Lions rugby player. Qualified as a doctor. Self taught guitarist, appeared on stage with Manic Street Preachers at a festival. State educated.

@Denimrevival have you looked to see what your county music service offers?

Ours offers Saturday morning music and performing arts schools. They take children from early years up to 18 (and beyond if they become volunteers). They have group instrument lessons, choirs, music theory. It's an opportunity for children to try out different branches of music.

Both my DDs went and loved it.

Your school did make a difference.

You both went to state schools were applying to Oxbridge was not actively discouraged.

I went to a school then a college where former students who were studying at a wide range of universities including Oxbridge came back to give us talks about applications.

In my experience it’s because those types of parents are all about status and competition. Once one child’s done it everyones child has to do it.
fact is private school is not much better then state school and success is all down to the child’s drive and personality not the school they went to. They put them in private school because they don’t want their kids mixing with normal kids and they don’t want their friends thinking they’re poor.
take my colleagues 13 year old daughter, who goes to a very expensive boarding school and was caught vaping in town with a 19 year old lad when she should have been at school. Yes fantastic safe places they are…not.
I could divulge many a dodgy story about private schools but I doubt any of the snobs would care about the truth.