What age is leaving it too late to TTC (with known fertility problems)?

[Teister]

I’m 30 and DP is the same age. We aren’t yet married but have plans to do so in 2025, when we’ll both be 32. I’ve been off birth control for 5 years and have been DTD regularly throughout that time. Besides a recent sperm test for DP which indicates no issues on his side, we’ve not had the infertility investigated yet. Primarily because I came off birth control for health reasons and we agreed to just see what happens. Given the passage of time, I know there is something wrong on my side I’m going to need to get this investigated in time and perhaps even have IVF.

Our priorities have changed since I came off birth control 5 years ago and we have both since decided that we aren’t ready for a baby yet. We want to prioritise our careers, getting married, more life experiences and buying a larger house before we think about that. In reality, I could be 34/35 before we are ready for this.

Given my fertility problems, wait list times etc. I worry is it leaving it too late?

Bear in mind that if investigations show you need ivf then to be eligible for this on the NHS you have to be under 42 or 40 depending on your area when the IVF treatment starts.

Working backwards from this, allowing for any pre-ivf treatment you may need ( months of medication, or surgical procedure for example) and the waiting times for this plus treatment doesn't allow you much leeway.

As others have said, investigated now, you can make choices about delaying when you have more info.

Please don’t wait you need to do something now unless you are both happy with the possibility of it never happening. It took 7 long years of treatment. One thing is that all my embryos are still 26 so if we ever go back for a FET they are of excellent quality. At my age now i’d be lucky to get anything half decent. I said no to trying before marriage and I now wish I had as because we’d have been a few years ahead and would have hopefully managed a 2nd, now that’s unlikely.

Right now! It can take years to get the right treatment. Don't waste a moment. Your window is fast closing for successful ivf success rates.

Thanks everyone, I’ve had a bit of a reality check. Perhaps I’ve been naive as I don’t think I truly appreciated how long these things could take, in terms of the IVF process etc. We do have the funds to pay for private fertility investigations and IVF etc. which is why I’d initially felt there was no rush, but I think this may have given me a false sense of security!

I started trying for a baby just after I turned 33 years, now nearly 40 I'm still trying. IVF NHS waiting lists can be long and even once agreed you could be waiting months between tests/cycles. There is no guarantee that IVF will work first time or at all. I feel that the doors are closing as I'm approaching 40, I wish I had looked into receiving professional help sooner. If its something you really see in your future then I would not waste time. Whos to say you will even be seen/ready to start investigations before your 'ready' time.

I agree with paying for a thorough fertility check. You won't necessarily need ivf though like a lot of people are assuming. There are a whole host of reasons for not conceiving yet, some of which can be corrected with fairly minor procedures or medication. Examples include thyroid problems, uterine cysts, blocked tubes and many other things.

Bear in mind that if investigations show you need ivf then to be eligible for this on the NHS you have to be under 42 or 40 depending on your area when the IVF treatment starts.

Many NHS trusts have a cut off of age 37 now and some trusts don't fund IVF at all - the NOCE guideline state an age of 42 but individual trusts are no obliged to implement it and can set their own age limit

I’d definitely start ball rolling now with some gynaecology tests. Also a general health check up. There might be some lifestyle changes that would help eg easier to conceive/less pregnancy risks if a healthy weight.
I do think thinking we’ll just pay when time comes is naive. No guarantees of success and often lots of heartache.