To think my colleague is being U?

[mamawheredidyougo]

Hello everyone,

For the past couple of week, my colleague and I have been working on a project and at the end of the project, we both have to write reports about our findings/conclusions etc. I have more experience than my colleague as she is new to the team. So- as this will be the first time my colleague has written the report, I checked it on her behalf but advised her to send it to one of the superiors to check it over.

This week, my colleague contacted the manager about something she needed to send in with the report. My manager then ccd me into the email and the rest of the team leads, asking my colleague whether she has sent her report to the team leads for checking. My colleague acted "dumbfounded' and said that she hadn't realised and sent the copy of the report to the team leaders. At that point, I emailed the manager and wrote that I had already told colleague to have her report checked by the superiors. When I sent the email (my colleague and my team leads were cc'd in). My colleague wrote me a private email and said that 'She had it checked by the superiors but wasn't to know that it had to checked by the team leads and that next time, could I have sent her en email privately without notifying the whole team leads and managers". I then told her that I did say her report needed to be checked by the superiors but admitted that I didn't specifically say that it had to be with the team leads. She then replied that she not offended but would rather I contacted her privately as opposed to including the team leads in her email.

AIBU to think that my colleague is being ridiculous as it was not my intention to make her look bad.

I'm with your colleague tbh, you didnt need to reply all it was clearly a miscommunication. If she had said on a reply all that you specifically hadnt told her what to do I can see why you might have felt the need to defend that claim but otherwise I think it was unfair

Is this a reverse? You are being so unreasonable that I feel this must be a reverse. Who would do that to a colleague?

You undermined her publicly and didn’t even give her clear instructions.

I’d have sent you a less polite email than she did.

Oh of course it bloody is. Ffs.

Well you have made her look bad. She followed your advice and then you effectively threw her under the bus by emailing everyone to say you had told her to get it checked.. if there were certain people she needed to get it checked by you should have been more specific.

I'm with your colleague. You were quite unprofessional and unpleasant.

Reverses are so boring. You'd have got a much better response if you asked advice on how to deal with a petty and passive aggressive colleague.

It is always unreasonable to email shame someone, unless in response to an already awful email.

Your colleague was much more professional than you

So you told her to check with one superior, she did, and now you ate outright lying? And that's from what you have said. So is this a reverse?

just ask the question. Reverses don’t work.

and it has to be a reversed. No one sends a ‘reply all’ emails making out your colleague didn’t do something, you didn’t tell her about.

What possessed you to do that?

This.

if this is true yabu.

if this is a reverse, yabu for that.

I was more specific. I did give her the names of the people that she should have contacted. I just didn't mentioned that it had to be one of the team leads.

At that point, I emailed the manager and wrote that I had already told colleague to have her report checked by the superiors. When I sent the email (my colleague and my team leads were cc'd in).

As per PP, this can't be true or is a reverse.

Reverses are really really tedious.

Can someone please simplify? Colleague sent or didn't send what to who?

She was unhappy about something, made a polite, professional, private request that you handle things differently next time. Why is that unreasonable?

You are profoundly unreasonable for so egregiously driving your car backwards, @mamawheredidyougo. 🔫🔫🔫

Please familiarise yourself with the Highway Code before posting.

I'm more confused by this, if you gave her the names of the people to check it did that not include the team leads? If not then you didnt give her the right names surely?

If this isn’t a reverse, YABVU. You basically squealed to the teacher! She was a lot more professional than you by emailing you privately.

YABU!!! WTH did you do that??!

Is this one of the reversey ones? If not you lack self awareness.

Wait so you gave her a list of people to check with and that list didnt include a team lead - and them you tried to claim to your manager you did tell her to check with the team lead??

I appreciate that you also didn't want to look bad, so it was an awkward one. That's the problem when too many people are 'cc'ed'. If you needed to include everyone, I would have been a bit more careful and maybe replied. "That's correct - yes they do need to go to all the team leads. Let's sit down and formalise process so we're all clear next time, if that helps. The report looks excellent." If she's new she'll be worried about doing something wrong. In modern business we should be authentic and mutually respectful to do a good job and concentrate on what's best for the business - which is getting the best out of each other and creating strong allies. Alternatively, you could have emailed your manager just to clarify that you had informed her of process.

Holy caramba - does anyone do any actual work at your employer OP?