Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my colleague is being U?

64 replies

mamawheredidyougo · 26/06/2023 21:50

Hello everyone,

For the past couple of week, my colleague and I have been working on a project and at the end of the project, we both have to write reports about our findings/conclusions etc. I have more experience than my colleague as she is new to the team. So- as this will be the first time my colleague has written the report, I checked it on her behalf but advised her to send it to one of the superiors to check it over.

This week, my colleague contacted the manager about something she needed to send in with the report. My manager then ccd me into the email and the rest of the team leads, asking my colleague whether she has sent her report to the team leads for checking. My colleague acted "dumbfounded' and said that she hadn't realised and sent the copy of the report to the team leaders. At that point, I emailed the manager and wrote that I had already told colleague to have her report checked by the superiors. When I sent the email (my colleague and my team leads were cc'd in). My colleague wrote me a private email and said that 'She had it checked by the superiors but wasn't to know that it had to checked by the team leads and that next time, could I have sent her en email privately without notifying the whole team leads and managers". I then told her that I did say her report needed to be checked by the superiors but admitted that I didn't specifically say that it had to be with the team leads. She then replied that she not offended but would rather I contacted her privately as opposed to including the team leads in her email.

AIBU to think that my colleague is being ridiculous as it was not my intention to make her look bad.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/06/2023 05:32

It was your intention to make her look bad Hmm properly shocking way to treat a colleague.

Mind a bit of brown nosing with the bosses gets you places these days apparently, so crack on. You've earned the reputation now since everyone's seen it.

gelatogina · 27/06/2023 05:33

If this is a reverse then grow up and just post normally.

if it’s not, then you really threw her under the bus and you should apologise.

Cucucucu · 27/06/2023 06:11

She is right !

BetiYeti · 27/06/2023 06:48

Yeah, I’m with your colleague too.

FarmGirl78 · 27/06/2023 06:52

Assuming this isn't a reverse, if
I was you I'd have perhaps messaged Colleague PRIVATELY to say I'd not thought to point out that the team leads were separate to seniors.

I might have mentioned verbally and PRIVATELY to my manager that I HAD told her but didn't realise she didn't understand the staff hiarachy.

Under no circumstances would I have CC'd other people in and tried to give her a public humiliation like you have done. If I was your colleague I'd be feeling embarrassed, questioning whether this had ruined my reputation in a new job, and been absolutely bloody fuming.

Why oh why on what planet would you think this was a reasonable thing to do?

CeeceeBloomingdale · 27/06/2023 06:53

Surely a reverse. YABU for using the term ‘superiors’, it’s not 1962 and being in a senior role does not make anyone superior.

Aprilx · 27/06/2023 07:05

I really hope this is a reverse, because if it isn’t just wow what a nasty, spiteful thing to do. You that is, no your colleague is not BU. She is new, you gave her vague instructions and then looked to point score and humiliate her in front of everyone. Your manager wasn’t much better either. What a toxic work place. Hope you are pleased with yourself.

Wicksytricksy · 27/06/2023 07:10

So why don't you like her?

Trying2understand · 27/06/2023 22:07

I would never do that to someone. It doesn't help them grow or feel supported, it brings out shame and feelings of embarrassment. Never be that colleague.

CorBlimeyGovnr · 27/06/2023 22:12

What a snake

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/06/2023 22:27

You were an arsehole.

And everyone you sent the email to knows it. In trying to make your new team mate look bad, you’ve undermined your own reputation. People don’t appreciate dick moves.

LittleMonks11 · 27/06/2023 22:38

Help. What is a reverse?

ChocChipHandbag · 27/06/2023 23:47

LittleMonks11 · 27/06/2023 22:38

Help. What is a reverse?

It’s when an OP writes the post pretending to be the other person in the scenario. So in this case the OP would actually be the new employee who wrote the report. It’s done to see what honest responses you get when the person answering is not influenced by instinctive bias toward the OP.

For example, you are someone who is annoyed because a teacher took a bar of chocolate out of your kid’s lunch box and reminded you about the “no chocolate” rule, Instead of writing “AIBU to think that the school is wrong to confiscate lunch items?” you pretend to be a TA asking “AIBU to have removed a chocolate bar from a child’s lunch and had a word with the parent?”

LittleMonks11 · 28/06/2023 07:58

Ahhh thanks. I recent came back after about 10 years and have to constantly google acronyms!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page