Cleaner being cheeky?

[Leo1195]

A bit of context to begin, my cleaner is not from the uk she’s from a Spanish speaking country I am from the uk but can speak Spanish. She has lived here 7/8 years and worked from me nearly 2 years now. I have two children under two both myself and DP work full time but I mostly wfh.

My cleaner regularly asks me to buy her and her family plane tickets, and recently has just asked me again, this is maybe the 6th time. At first I was happy to help as she fed me a whole story, she can’t speak English and finds it difficult to book and so I was happy to help.

Second time same deal and I didn’t think anything of it.

Third time she asked I asked her how she managed all the years before me to book flights and she said she used an agency but they charged her - fair enough but was starting to annoy me a little because she was using an hour of cleaning time to sit with me look for the best deals on flight etc.

Fourth time she asked I reluctantly helped her but also put the Ryanair app on her phone and Skyscanner in Spanish and showed her how to use it. This time she calls me up when she needed to check into her flight and asks me to check her family in.

This also happens on the 5th time she asks and also asks me to buy her extra luggage. When I asked her why she can’t use the app she says it doesn’t let her search?!

she now wants me to look again in my own time she’s just this morning sent me the dates and said she still can’t do it. She also never pays me the money as they first few times I told her that she could just work off what she owes me but I’m getting a bit fed up. DP thinks I’m a totally pushover which I am really I hate saying no to people but I don’t know what to do now?

so AIBU - just help her out and buy her the ticket

or

yanbu - tell her to figure it out on her own.

YADNBU

Your cleaner needs the CF award. Omg she's taking advantage.

Self employed I assume

No sack her, she's taking advantage of your nice nature.

You need to remember who the employee is here, she's using you as an assistant for free and worse still you're paying for the privilege.

I would definitely find someone else and explain that what you've been doing is not usual in the UK

You need to be having a word with yourself. You have cultivated an expectation that you will continue to do this and you keep doing it.

I’d be letting her go OP. She knows exactly what she’s doing….

Op what are you doing? She is taking such advantage of you!

Tell you are too busy to talk about flights and shut down the conversation immediately. Let her pay back the money she owes you in work hours and dismiss her. Use the time to find someone else.

The issue with people like this is they don’t change, she will constantly be looking for an angle to make money/ profit from you.

Good God , just get another cleaner
Cut out all of this nonsense

You have lost your mind getting into this situation in the first place. A short sharp no should suffice.

If you're still having trouble turning her down, find a new cleaner.

It would have been a no from the start from me, there are still things called travel agencies, who can help her for a minimal cost. YANBU

She might not have a bank account or a credit card.
Meanwhile, just tell her that you can’t afford it atm.

🤣🤣🤣

Are people really this dim? 😂 Why on earth would you have continued doing this for upto 5 times!? If I was your DH; I’d be furious with you for being so naive and silly!!

You have the right to say no.
In this situation, and in others too. (if you have been this obliging here it may be you have similar issues in other areas of life).

Have a Google of how to be assertive. Realise that you take care of yourself by setting boundaries and saying no to requests people make of you that you do not want to forfill.

Her problem has become your problem because you have allowed yourself to take it on.

Imagine if you could go to people and they would take on your problems for free and solve them. Sounds great right.
Thing is when people take on other people's problems they then end up with their own as well as other people's. It piles up and then you get stressed and overwhelmed and undervalued and unrespected.. People then feel like asking more from you.

Please learn how to stand up for yourself for your own sanity.
Once you learn that, life gets nicer. There is a lot of peace in saying no rather than doing things because you were asked or feel bad saying no.

If it helps, try reframing it in your head as would this person ask this of me if they really cared about me and had my best interests in mind as well. Or is this person with their back against the wall and desperate (ie they are seriously ill, or lost or really do need help).
Or is the other person being lazy or trying to make their own life easier by pulling energy or resources from others with their request.

Good luck.

Tell her you can't pay for them, can she bring her bank cards to pay.

that will likely stop her asking.

or "why can't you do it?"
"app not working"
"oh it's not for me either how odd"

Your DP is right, you are a total pushover. You need to put a stop to this right now.

This has brought a little sunshine into my morning @Deadringer

How much are these flights costing? Is it a bargain to Lanzarote or long haul to South America?

She’s taking advantage of you, You are paying her to search for & book tickets, she’s doing it on your time & your dollar. Tell her no, I’m ,sorry but you will have to get a family member of friend to help you, I don’t have time for this.

If she doesn't currently owe you any money I'd give her a week's notice and let her go.

I've just checked RyanAir and you can view their site in Spanish: EasyJet offers both Castilian and Catalan. Language isn't the issue — and frankly after seven years here she should have picked up enough to get by. All my friends who live in Spain are pretty proficient after just a year or two.

My guess is that she doesn't have a credit card so can't book herself and her family won't do it for her. This is a great way for her to avoid paying tax. I wonder whether she gets other clients to place grocery orders in lieu of payment?

You’re such a pushover… good people get conned and daft people get conned again and again.

You only have yourself to blame. Tell her you can no longer afford a cleaner… and then find a different cleaner. Work on boundaries 🤦🏼‍♀️

Your daft and silly. Who does this for a cleaner. Get rid and let her sort her own things out. It's even weird letting her work it off. What if she just walks out after the next lot of tickets are bought then how you gona prove you didn't gift them to her etc etc. Silliest thing I've heard in a while.

You show people how to treat you with your actions. She’s mistaken your kindness for weakness. Honestly I would find a new cleaner. This is ridiculous.

Tell her there are tax/ legal implications to you not paying her properly (letting her work off the flights). You should probably check because there may well be.

🤣🤣🤣 she saw you coming 🤣🤣🤣

I’d be fuming at you if I were your partner, assuming it’s his money too that you’re throwing at this woman to a) book flights and b) not clean your house!