To be annoyed at these people at the theatre?

[melj1213]

I have just been at the theatre for a stand up show this afternoon with DD. It was a 30 min warm up, 20 min interval and then 90 minute show.

The start time was 3pm so I made sure we were at the theatre by 2.30pm so we had time to get a drink, go to the loo and be in our seats before the start time.

At 3pm when the warm up came out there were 6 seats in our row that were empty. The show started and about 5 mins into his act the 6 people showed up. We all had to stand for them to get to their seats which was annoying enough as they faffed about, taking ages to get to their seats, take off their coats, settle down etc but then 4 different members of the group got up at different points during the warm up and then again at the start of the interval. I felt like a bloody jack in the box! The lady next to me was obviously feeling the same as by the third time she gave a massive sigh and muttered something under her breath and we kind of locked eyes and gave an eye roll to each other as we were trying to take our seats again.

In the interval I couldn't hide my annoyance and when one member of the group got up a few minutes before the interval ended I told them that I was going to be speaking to an usher as I was sick of being disturbed and if she wasn't back before the headliner came on I would not be moving for her again. Another woman in the party piped up that they can't help that they were late due to traffic and that they needed the loo/snacks/drinks, but how is that my problem?

After the interval the woman who left wasn't back and when another member of their party went to leave they totally refused to make eye contact as they scooted by me and then also didn't come back. At the end of the show I saw there were a few empty seats on the end of a row a few rows back and the first woman had obviously sat in one of those when she came back rather than trying to get back to her seat and then when the other person had left they had gone to join her in those empty seats.

This isn't the first time this happened, I can't recall the last time I went to the theatre where people weren't coming and going throughout the show and disturbing everyone. It's bad enough on cheap local theatre shows but even in west end productions where tickets are £200 a piece you still can't guarantee there won't be someone causing a disturbance.

AIBU to think that if you book tickets for any kind of performance where arriving/leaving is going to cause a disturbance to others, you don't sit in the middle of a row if you know you can't arrive on time or sit still for 2.5hrs?! I expect to get up pre show and in the interval to allow people in/out of seats (especially towards the end of a row where everyone has to pass you) but otherwise you should sit in your seat and stay there.

I understand it in children's shows as they often need a loo break, can get overwhelmed and need a time out but if you're a grown adult you should be able to sit for 90 minutes without getting up repeatedly? And if you know you can't go through the whole performance without a wee then for the love of god book tickets at the end of a row not the middle!

There's a difference between having your phone on vibrate in case of an emergency, only looking at it if/when it vibrates, and constantly checking a silent phone "just in case" when you know the checking will light up the screen and cause a disturbance. Even if you are waiting on a message the polite thing is to have the phone on vibrate, only check it if it goes off and then if you see that it's someone you need to respond to, you leave the auditorium to deal with it before coming back. Ideally all that will be done from an aisle seat so that you disrupt as few people as possible when you leave.

There are so many ways you can both get important messages whilst also being considerate of others. I have a smart watch which is connected to my phone, so I can leave my phone in my bag but still get alerts etc. Normally when I receive a message/call/alert it will light up the screen but I have a setting which puts the watch in dark mode with low brightness and will cause the watch to vibrate (not light up) only for calls/texts. Whenever I am at the theatre/cinema I turn the setting on and then relax in peace knowing that I won't disturb anyone and if my watch vibrates when I need to be contactable (eg when DD was little and had a babysitter) I can tap the screen to check who the call/text is from with minimal disruption as it is a tiny screen in my lap set to dark/low brightness mode as opposed to a massive screen held up at top brightness.

I took my dad to see Top Gun Maverick in the opening weekend in the cinema and the screening was full. There was a woman a couple of rows in front who kept checking her phone during the film, the entire screening was dark and her phone kept lighting up every 10/15 minutes. It was right in my eye line but when it was just for a few seconds it was annoying but bearable, until about halfway through the film when she received a message, opened it, read it and then proceeded to message the person back repeatedly! After about 10 minutes I called out "Put your phone away or text Linda from the foyer!" as I'd had enough of the distraction (and knew it was Linda she was texting as her text size on the screen was so big you could read everything even from 3/4 rows back) . The woman looked round as she clearly couldn't tell who had called out but she at least then put her phone away and didn't check it again, though she did go out a couple of times. After I had said it the lady next to me, who obviously knew it was me who called out to Linda's mate, tapped my arm and I was expecting her to tell me off for being rude and disruptive but instead she leaned in and quietly said "I'm glad you said something, I was thinking about it but I wouldn't have been so polite!"

Well I seem to attract dickheads whenever I want to see shows as I've just come back after dealing with another one.

My local Vue were doing a screening of "A Little Life" the play James Norton is currently smashing in the West End and since we live in the rural North it isn't exactly easy to pop down for a little theatre trip, I treated myself to cinema screening tickets with a group of 7 friends.

My friends and I were sat at the back of the auditorium, where there's only 3 rows of 3 seats over the doorway. The entire way through the first half there was a woman on the end of the row 2 rows in front of us who kept getting her phone out, sending messages etc and had the brightness right up. I literally couldn't avoid it as I was on the end of the row and a couple of my friends were also obviously irritated by the light but there was nowhere for us to move to as we were such a large group and all three rows in our little "over door section" were behind her seat so her screen was visible to us all so it's not like only one or two of us needed to move, it would have been us all.

After the 7th time she pulled her phone out (in the less than 90min first half) I leaned over and said "Put your phone away" ... which she did but then 10 mins later during the interval she immediately got up, stood on front of my entire group and said "I don't know which of you said to put your phone away but you have no idea what is going on in my private life that means I have to check it". My response was "It was me and it doesn't matter what is going on in your private life, you are in a cinema theatre screening your phone should be put away and if you have to check it then leave the auditorium as you are disturbing everyone here who can't concentrate on the screening due to the light and your screen flickering".

She then tried to argue with us (when one of my friends asked what was so important about booking a train on the Trainline app, which was one of the things she did on her phone in the first half, she tried to say my friend was invading her privacy by looking at her screen when she couldn't help but see it as it was shining so brightly, and the trainline app layout is so distinctive it was instantly recognisable) so I just walked away to find a staff member and by chance the manager was walking past (was clearly a staff member as he was wearing the lanyard/badge but not in the uniform of the rest of the staff) so I spoke to him, explained that the woman had got her phone out repeatedly during the first half of the screening but I eventually said something because of how distracting it was and she had then come to yell at us at the interval.

He was apologetic and immediately came into the screen to speak to her, I had told him her seat number before we went in so I just walked back to my own seat to avoid another confrontation. He was clearly intending to have a discreet word to say "we've had a complaint about you using your phone and distracting other patrons, do not do it again or you will be asked to leave" but she immediately blew up at him saying she had stuff in her personal life but she wasn't going to waste £20 by not coming and I was a nosy cow for trying to read her screen and he could fuck off with his warnings so he just cut his losses and told her to gather her things and leave because she was not welcome to stay for the second half.

She initially refused until it got to 2 mins before the end of the interval (the screen was on for the whole interval with a countdown of the time) when he took out his radio and told whoever was on the other end to ask security to come and escort a lady out and get one of the other staff members to pause the feed until they had removed her so that nobody missed any of the second half. At which point everyone could see/hear the commotion and we're just staring at her and as soon as the screen went blank and two more staff members came in she suddenly changed her tune and barged out, shouting that she would be putting in a complaint to head office.

If she had just apologised in the interval (even if it was a "Sorry for disturbing you with my phone, I have a family issue going on but I'll try not to let it affect the second half") then I would have still been annoyed but would have let it go but the entitlement of thinking that she could disturb other patrons in a screening because of her personal business was too much.

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

I agree. ROH doesn't stand any nonsense. No eating/drinking in the auditorium, not even an ice-cream. We are not grazing animals.

I have a dear friend who says "lavatory". I'd never say anything because I love her, but damn, it gets up my nose!

It’s particularly bad for musical theatre, by all accounts. People don’t seem to grasp the difference between watching at home, going to a pop/rock concert, and watching a live musical. I’m on a Broadway chat and lots of performers have stories to tell!