To be annoyed at these people at the theatre?

[melj1213]

I have just been at the theatre for a stand up show this afternoon with DD. It was a 30 min warm up, 20 min interval and then 90 minute show.

The start time was 3pm so I made sure we were at the theatre by 2.30pm so we had time to get a drink, go to the loo and be in our seats before the start time.

At 3pm when the warm up came out there were 6 seats in our row that were empty. The show started and about 5 mins into his act the 6 people showed up. We all had to stand for them to get to their seats which was annoying enough as they faffed about, taking ages to get to their seats, take off their coats, settle down etc but then 4 different members of the group got up at different points during the warm up and then again at the start of the interval. I felt like a bloody jack in the box! The lady next to me was obviously feeling the same as by the third time she gave a massive sigh and muttered something under her breath and we kind of locked eyes and gave an eye roll to each other as we were trying to take our seats again.

In the interval I couldn't hide my annoyance and when one member of the group got up a few minutes before the interval ended I told them that I was going to be speaking to an usher as I was sick of being disturbed and if she wasn't back before the headliner came on I would not be moving for her again. Another woman in the party piped up that they can't help that they were late due to traffic and that they needed the loo/snacks/drinks, but how is that my problem?

After the interval the woman who left wasn't back and when another member of their party went to leave they totally refused to make eye contact as they scooted by me and then also didn't come back. At the end of the show I saw there were a few empty seats on the end of a row a few rows back and the first woman had obviously sat in one of those when she came back rather than trying to get back to her seat and then when the other person had left they had gone to join her in those empty seats.

This isn't the first time this happened, I can't recall the last time I went to the theatre where people weren't coming and going throughout the show and disturbing everyone. It's bad enough on cheap local theatre shows but even in west end productions where tickets are £200 a piece you still can't guarantee there won't be someone causing a disturbance.

AIBU to think that if you book tickets for any kind of performance where arriving/leaving is going to cause a disturbance to others, you don't sit in the middle of a row if you know you can't arrive on time or sit still for 2.5hrs?! I expect to get up pre show and in the interval to allow people in/out of seats (especially towards the end of a row where everyone has to pass you) but otherwise you should sit in your seat and stay there.

I understand it in children's shows as they often need a loo break, can get overwhelmed and need a time out but if you're a grown adult you should be able to sit for 90 minutes without getting up repeatedly? And if you know you can't go through the whole performance without a wee then for the love of god book tickets at the end of a row not the middle!

Same in the o2. Peter Kaye due on at 8pm but didn't come on stage until 815pm because there were SO many people not in their seats (all in 1 particular area of the arena). So annoying! The ticket tells you when he's on stage, so bloody get there on time! We all know 20k people are gonna rock up to see him on any given night so leave enough time to get to the venue and allow sufficient time for queuing for the loo/drinks.
We were end of aisle and the amount of times we had to stand to let late comers in/out when they needed another drink (during a 2 hour show?!) Ffs.
I agree OP...if you know you can't sit still for long, book an aisle seat so you don't piss other people off! Not difficult.

I went to see The Killers last year was really looking forward tonit as had been postponed a couple times due to COVID we had a family arrive in the row in front, parents and two daughters late teen/early 20s. The parents proceeded to get absolutely sloshed, so I think only saw two songs before they disappeared and didn't return (good) the two DD stayed, they got drunker and more annoying as the evening wore on and once they realised everyone around them was getting fed up they did it even more. We eventually moved as we just wanted to watch the show not their twattery. We then noticed others that had been sitting near us moving away as well. They were clearly enjoying annoying everyone.

Thankfully our local theatres all seem to stop service during the performance which does curtail going out for drinks.

But agree that overall theatre etiquette has massively declined

We went to the ballet last year. A group of women were talking all through the first half. Absolutely awful. We moved to some empty seats for the second half. As did the other women who were sat behind them. With a stand up show though I thought they didn't let you in if you weren't there on time to stop the inevitable loss of flow of the jokes

@melj1213 you have my sympathy, it’s even worse at concerts. I privately refer to them incontinent alcoholics. I just don’t understand why you would pay £££ and only see half the concert.

I always thought that once a show had started then they held you back until there was a natural break for you to go back to your seat. They shouldn’t let people just be up and down the whole time.

I have found my people 😀

All these really annoy me and we are convinced there is a correlation between having the middle seats and arriving late. It is never the people on the end of the row who arrive after the start and then need a drink.

and another thing, you are told what door to come in but there are those, again late, who come in at the wrong door and need everyone to get up as they get to the other end of the row.

So did I but clearly not.

This was why I wanted to speak to an usher at the interval - clearly they weren't going to intervene unless/until someone actively complained despite clearly seeing the disruption being repeatedly caused by the same few people.

I can't get over anyone wearing a coat in this weather.

It was forecast to be a warm 16-18°C but with rain where I was today so I (and many others) had a light raincoat, which I was glad of when we came out of the theatre and it was raining.

Also we travelled from away so have just got off the train home where it is 9pm, overcast, a bit drizzly and windy so I'm glad of my raincoat to keep me dry and a little warmer on the walk home from the station

Your issue is with the venue though. If there was a rule that as soon as performers step out onto stage, there's no further entry until intermission, then you wouldn't have been disturbed.
However, the venue either didn't have the rule or these particular ushers didn't implement it.

Check to see what the rules are at the venue. Then take it up with them.

YANBU

Took DD to see a London matinee today. 9 people sauntered in between 5 and 25 minutes late, all from the front 2 rows of the auditorium. It didn’t just disrupt the other audience members who had to keep getting up to let them in, but also the cast.

I commented to DD afterwards, who would buy seats so close to the front and then turn up so late?

Tbh it's got so bad we tend not to go anymore. Saw Bocelli last year but that was a one off. We've given up on the opera and ballet due to rattling crisp packets, talking, and having to move for people.

Generally agree with you BUT! Yesterday I took my and a few other DC to see a kids’ show in the West End. I was so impressed when a Dutch family arrived after us, filed into the seats in front of us, looked behind them and asked me if I wanted them to sit in any particular order so my DC & their friends could see! It was A Teaching Moment for me, gave the parents a solid 👍🏼. Their kids were two teenage lads and a younger girl, mine were all 10 and under. So thoughtful.

YANBU. Good on you for saying something, hopefully it might make them think in the future

I agree OP and good for you for speaking up! I have been wanting to vent about this for ages

Cinema and theatre etiquette has massively declined. Every film I've been to see lately has had at least one person either being loud with stupid rustly crisps, chatting, or with their phone on. Same as at a lecture/talk in a theatre I went to see, a woman constantly turning her phone screen on to check it and disturbing us all. What's so bloody important you can't put it on vibrate and leave it alone for 45 mins til the interval?!

Saw a comedian, had loads of people arrived late and then others constantly getting up and down. A bloke next to me got up at least 2 times during the first half of the main act to get beers, (why is the bar even serving during the show?) then once again for more beers during the interval. Then spent the second half getting up to go to the toilet 🤦🏻‍♀️ he was trying not to disturb me after my first massive huff, so as the seats behind him and me were empty, he climbed over the back to get out that way causing even more disruption with his stupid vaulting around! Ffs. All my local theatres do say on tickets and signs that entry will not be permitted after the main performance has started, but that rule is definitely not being reinforced by the staff sadly.

I wonder if it's due to lockdown and people are used to being at home on their phone and eating snacks constantly and have forgotten how to be polite in public?

One pop concert ruined by a very drunk woman screaming she wanted the singer's babies. For the entire concert... He was escorted on by his elbows. Left half way through and we were left listening to backing singers... Came back on for get last few minutes and she was still screaming... She would have killed the poor fucker of she had gotten anywhere near him. Absolutely ruined the night...

Some people should know their limitations and stick to the cinema. Even then it's annoying, but at least cinema tickets are cheap.

That's so lovely of them.
I've swapped seats with my DD before when a tall adult has arrived and sat in front of her while a child is in front of me but how nice of them to think of sitting so as to cause you the minimum disruption.

Letting people in after the performance has started is down to theatre policy. very often they state no late admittance but don't keep to it - but the eternal up and down would really hack me off - if they have weak bladders they should choose aisle seats FFS.
Bit odd with the first half hour billed as a warm up - but they should still have had consideration for other audience members.

(But I was eternally grateful to the theatre that let me in after the start of a play last week - left with loads of time, but subject to the vagaries of TFL. Unreserved seating, and they had the sense to reserve a couple of seats by the door for latecomers)

Yes the venue should be enforcing the "no interruptions" rule but why does that absolve patrons of taking any kind of personal responsibility not to be disruptive as hell? Also, as a retail worker I have frequently been on the wrong end of customers expecting me to take on other unruly customers because of a policy made by someone in an office who has never had to stand up to a 6ft2 manchild having a meltdown because they have been told no. I will uphold company policy but not if it means putting myself in a risky situation, so I don't blame FOH staff for not wanting to take that risk unless there is a safety issue.

I have no idea whether the venue staff spoke to them before the show but they came in from doors behind our seats guided by an usher, so for all I knew the hold up was on the venues end (long line for the bag checks or tickets not reading on their scanners etc) and so they allowed them in anyway.

Regardless of which, if you know you're late and are going to disrupt people, you should have the common courtesy to do everything possible to keep the disruption to a minimum - whether that's taking your coat off as you're walking to your seat (or sitting in it until a natural break/the interval); standing at the side/back until the interval if you don't think you can make it without having to go for a wee or dealing with the fact you're a bit thirsty until the interval ... All of those are choices you can make, and yet people are so self absorbed and entitled that they are only bothered about themselves.

While reading this, all I could keep saying in my head was TOILET!!!

Not LOO!

I went to theatre earlier this week and the young woman sitting next to me came back from the interval with a bag of crisps and a pint of cider. She munched, crackled and slurped and finally gave a massive burp 😱. We were second row from the stage.

We went to see ofah at the haymarket a few years ago-I'm a huge fan of the show

Got there in plenty of time,found our seats and settled in-all good

2 old ladies behind us didn't stop bloody yapping loudly all the way through it-they where not fans,one claimed to have never seen the show,the other claimed to have watched one or two-but didn't like del-boy,found grandad 'dirty'and had real hate for 3 wheeled vans,they didnt like paul whitehouse as grandad/uncle albert,they where getting more and more pissed as it went on and had the loudest snacks known to man

They ruined the whole show-i mean if your not a fan,then don't pay good money to watch the musical!

I couldn't get past that bit either!!!