To be annoyed at these people at the theatre?

[melj1213]

I have just been at the theatre for a stand up show this afternoon with DD. It was a 30 min warm up, 20 min interval and then 90 minute show.

The start time was 3pm so I made sure we were at the theatre by 2.30pm so we had time to get a drink, go to the loo and be in our seats before the start time.

At 3pm when the warm up came out there were 6 seats in our row that were empty. The show started and about 5 mins into his act the 6 people showed up. We all had to stand for them to get to their seats which was annoying enough as they faffed about, taking ages to get to their seats, take off their coats, settle down etc but then 4 different members of the group got up at different points during the warm up and then again at the start of the interval. I felt like a bloody jack in the box! The lady next to me was obviously feeling the same as by the third time she gave a massive sigh and muttered something under her breath and we kind of locked eyes and gave an eye roll to each other as we were trying to take our seats again.

In the interval I couldn't hide my annoyance and when one member of the group got up a few minutes before the interval ended I told them that I was going to be speaking to an usher as I was sick of being disturbed and if she wasn't back before the headliner came on I would not be moving for her again. Another woman in the party piped up that they can't help that they were late due to traffic and that they needed the loo/snacks/drinks, but how is that my problem?

After the interval the woman who left wasn't back and when another member of their party went to leave they totally refused to make eye contact as they scooted by me and then also didn't come back. At the end of the show I saw there were a few empty seats on the end of a row a few rows back and the first woman had obviously sat in one of those when she came back rather than trying to get back to her seat and then when the other person had left they had gone to join her in those empty seats.

This isn't the first time this happened, I can't recall the last time I went to the theatre where people weren't coming and going throughout the show and disturbing everyone. It's bad enough on cheap local theatre shows but even in west end productions where tickets are £200 a piece you still can't guarantee there won't be someone causing a disturbance.

AIBU to think that if you book tickets for any kind of performance where arriving/leaving is going to cause a disturbance to others, you don't sit in the middle of a row if you know you can't arrive on time or sit still for 2.5hrs?! I expect to get up pre show and in the interval to allow people in/out of seats (especially towards the end of a row where everyone has to pass you) but otherwise you should sit in your seat and stay there.

I understand it in children's shows as they often need a loo break, can get overwhelmed and need a time out but if you're a grown adult you should be able to sit for 90 minutes without getting up repeatedly? And if you know you can't go through the whole performance without a wee then for the love of god book tickets at the end of a row not the middle!

We're in the north ...there's a possibility of rain 365 days a year

It's been warm but also has rained today so many people had a raincoat (myself included), it's not unusual 🤷🏼‍♀️

This post gave me a flashback to seeing Kate Bush and the woman in front of me was drunk out of her skull and almost picked fights with other audience members asking her to sit down. It was a very theatre-y gig but she wanted to sing and dance to Wuthering Heights 😵‍💫 sadly her mate got her under control enough she didn’t get removed by security but I was flabbergasted. Those tickets were like gold dust, fans were camping outside with posters begging to buy tickets claiming it was their birthday etc, and there this bird was, utterly arseholed, as if she’d stumbled into a free pub gig.

I never understand why theatres sell noisy snacks - why are crisps/popcorn/sweets in rustly wrappers the standard snack fare in a place where you want the audience to be as quiet as possible?

Surely there are quieter snacks they could provide?

Hmm the last play I went to I did have to tell the guy sitting in front of us to put his damn phone away. I may have been a little extra spicy. Because I added a “what is wrong with you?” hiss.

I’m equal opportunity though because I’ll shush my DH if he forgets we’re not at home and starts to talk.

Before, after, or intermission is fair game, but during the show I have no tolerance.

Hi, theatre usher here.
Latecomer policies can be set by the company. So tribute shows/concerts often have no policy, its down to us. We'll try and seat during songs if they're loud songs, during applause if that's more suitable. Comedians it's usually during laughter. Musicals are usually "during this song". Late comers doesn't cover toilet trips usually (some shows might specify no seating anyone during crucial scenes or certain moments). If we can we try to reseat at the back or hold until appropriate moments but people don't always listen, trying to stop them can be more of a commotion.

I remember Derren Brown had a strict "not during tricks" policy, not even allowed to hold at the back of the auditorium, had to be outside. The amount of abuse we got off people as we had to prevent them coming in was disgusting.

If people are talking/disturbing you please speak to one of us. Its hard to always be able to pinpoint where the noise is coming from if its midrow and the show is loud. I know myself and my colleagues would do our best to help (and get abuse from those causing the issue) and I'd hope my fellow ushers in other theatres would too

Who are these idiots?

It’s actually frightfully Non-U to say “toilet.”

At our local theatre there is NO WAY youd get to the loo, queue, go to the loo and get back in your seat in 5 mins, unless uour using the mens loos. The women's queues are always immense.

By the end of the interval I often find the women’s loos are deserted. You can usually be in and out after the five minute bell.

I agree, OP, on the sale of crisps. Having paid a small fortune recently for West End I was horrified to see them on sale and then end up sitting in front of a family all eating them. The worst possible thing to have in the theatre really.

That was why I asked. One local theatre they're literally in the back of the auditorium, one some are just next to the auditorium and some are downstairs and one you could probably just manage the 5 minutes (and I think I have done)

I was in a west end theatre recently (having paid a fair whack) and the woman behind was just constantly munching on what sounded like hard boiled sweets FFS.
And not during the loud bits. But all the fucking time.
I did have to tell her to stop eventually, as it was so annoying and inconsiderate.

I agree with everyone who has said how has it got so bad that people can’t behave considerately for a few hours.

Baffling.

Yeah, this is just bonkers. Just why?

What?

There does seem to be people turning up to see productions who act as if they have never set foot in a theatre before. After sitting through a hideous production of Grease we now purposefully avoid anything in a similar vein. There were people dancing and singing in the aisles throughout the show. Women were shouting comments out to the actors, stuff like "Watch out Sandy"...Peter Andre played the DJ in it and when he came on stage -in character- people were screaming hysterically and shouting "Love you Peter"...It was really cringey and spoilt the show so much. Apparently , the publicity on the posters advertising some musicals as "the craziest party in town" etc is attracting the undesirable elements who don't normally go to the theatre. Atg are ceasing advertising their shows like that now so hopefully that will keep away the people who don't know how to behave in a theatre setting.

KitKat club in the West End sell soft pretzels for Cabaret. Fab idea. Salty, thirst inducing, money making and QUIET!

There is literally no reason whatsoever to look at your phone during a play, or to even have it on. If something is happening that you need to be immediately contactable about…. don’t go to the theatre!

I'd love a soft pretzel at the theatre! Soft pretzels, ice-cream, unwrapped sweets in a tub/box (IE no rustling wrappers or bags), marshmallows ... So many quiet snacks and instead they offer loud ones!

I was at the theatre this week to see a musical show and a family of four next to us proceeded to share a whole burger and fries feast from Five Guys. It was the smell that got me.

Another recent show - family of 4 alongside us. Kids next to me and parents at the end. 2 kids on their phones the entire time. One had the screen brightness right up. At one point dad was helping one child with whatever game he was playing. I have a ND child so understand that sometimes they need distraction but this was all the way through (and hell would freeze over before the distraction was a phone).

At the interval I asked the dad whether the screen brightness could be turned down if the phones were really necessary for the second act. They didn’t come back from the interval.

How is that possible?! How did they get the food into the auditorium in the first place and how did an usher not notice once they got it out?

YANBU . Sounds extremely annoying.

There is literally no reason whatsoever to look at your phone during a play, or to even have it on. If something is happening that you need to be immediately contactable about…. don’t go to the theatre!

That's not true. I think you should do it discreetly and don't let it ring but there are people with ongoing caring responsibilities who may need to be contacted, they certainly need to know if the person they care for has a seizure/allergic reaction/crisis or other medical emergency. Likewise parents if an emergency has happened and a friend is on the kidney transplant and absolutely cannot afford to miss a call that may be offering her a kidney.

DD works as a theatre usher. I was shocked at what Front of House teams have to deal with. Drunkenness, aggression, noise, refusal to move even if not in the correct seat, vomit, pee under the seats, heckling the actors, meddling with props…. The list goes on. I always book the aisle seats…a throwback to when my DC were younger and now for more leg room, so I expect to stand up to let people in/out pre-show, and in the interval. But DH and I always wait for the inevitable … someone with seats in the middle of the row will always be late. I agree with OP. And I rarely go to musicals any more much as I love them because of the audience members who spoil it for everyone else. 😔

Hugasauras · Yesterday 20:10
It does feel like there's a whole host of people going to things nowadays who have absolutely no idea how to behave in a theatre or similar venue. See all these stories about people thinking they can sing along to expensive musical productions!

Yes - they think they're in their own living room watching Netflix.

I have given up going to watch anything vaguely popular in the theatre - the only way to avoid this kind of thing is to go to elite things like Shakespeare, avant garde plays and opera!!!

Mind you, I once had 2 women talking all the way through Carmen behind me. I asked very politely for them to stop and they did, but they looked really surprised that it had caused a problem.

1. any kind of live theatre tickets are incredibly expensive nowadays and b)to me, the whole point about theatre. opera etc is the enjoyable suspension of disbelief as you become absorbed into the imaginative world created by the actors. Idiots chattering, slurping, getting up and down, singing etc completely ruins that for everyone.

Selfish, entitled and vulgar - just awful.

Theoldwoman · Yesterday 22:10
While reading this, all I could keep saying in my head was TOILET!!!

Not LOO!”

LAVATORY, not TOILET! 😁