Feeling like parents are being lazy about birthday party

[Fabulousia]

I have 3 DDs, twins who are 3 and a 2 year old. All of their birthdays are the end of august. My twins started preschool in September and through the year we’ve been invited to maybe 8 parties, one more to go in July. My girls are now excited at the thought of their own party. I was thinking I’d book the church hall for the Saturday in between my kids birthdays and do one big joint party, invite nursery class and some of the kids from the playgroup I take my 2 year old to be about 30 kids all in.
I popped a message in the preschool WhatsApp to see how many were on holiday on that weekend etc. before actually doing it. Most of the kids from the preschool are moving up to reception together, so thought it would be a fun way to get them together too as it’s a week and a half before they start school.
A few parents have said they aren’t on holiday but as it’s at the end of the school holidays they’d probably forget or be too busy sorting everything for back to school to come. There’s also been ones who have said they will be on holiday which I expected and others have said they would come but it’s about 1/3 to each right now.
AIBU to gel like the parents saying they just wouldn’t come as it’s the end of the holiday and they’d forget are just being lazy? How hard can it be to put it into your calendar, it would literally be 1:30-3:30 in the church hall which is walking distance for most people as we live in a small town.
I feel so sad that if I can’t magic up more numbers (don’t have family near by or cousin so might have to extend it to neighbour kids and the kids the do dancing with) the girls won’t get a party just because they are end of summer babies? Would you take your kids to a party at the end of the summer?

My son has an end of August birthday so I always did parties in September or July before they broke up. This is because I have a sister who is end of August birthday and one year nobody turned up for her party. Ime July is better than September because people will buy cards with the age being a year older.
My daughter has an Easter birthday and lots of people forget if it's in the school holidays so I make sure it's before they break up for Easter.

I would if I wasn’t busy but people do get busy over summer.

My boys always landed on a bank holiday weekend and around half terms.

Was hard to get attendance!

I can see why it would make you feel sad, but a) holidays are family time and b) you are pretty wacked at the end of them.

Why don’t you move it to early Sept when all the kids are back?

I’m sorry but summers are busy and I’d be reluctant to commit to a party on a July or August weekend.

it’s not only the main summer holiday to fit in but also tends to be more events going on - family get togethers, festivals.

it’s not that I wouldn’t go - and we have been to August parties - more that I wouldn’t commit in June.

I've gone for 2nd sat in September mostly for my now 9yo. She is the most sociable of all my kids so annoying for her that we don't do it on her actual bday, when we are normally on hols.

At least they've told you...
Before being here moaning that they'd said they'd be there then decided it was too busy and didn't turn up, how rude

I agree with you OP, it’s a shit and lazy excuse.

I think nobody wants to commit this far in advance. Try again nearer the time.

My son's birthday is end of August and as others have said, I do his party in September and just make it really clear it's belated so people don't get confused about his age.

DS has an August birthday. For a couple of years we tried to do a party with friends, but we have learned that it’s disappointing as they often flake out at the last minute. So now we do a family bbq or party instead.

My dc birthday is mid august. I used to invite all 45 kids in his year to his birthday in the younger days (reception, year one) and about 23 would come due to holidays. Then as he got older and we only invited about 10 kids in his friendship group I’ve either moved the party day to July or asked parents when they’re free to make sure his best mates could come. Other kids with end of aug birthdays tended to do sept parties.

All my children have birthdays in the school holidays, I don’t tend to do school holiday dates. My august child will be having a party in September, there are too many July birthday parties already and the lead up to the end of the school year is always crazy.

My other 2 have Easter birthdays and I do a joint party, so I’d only have a party in holiday dates if I wanted to keep the numbers down, but I usually time it for the weekend before school restarts or weekend after. This year we did a joint one with another school friend, it covered 3 different class groups so we did it in the school holidays in the hope it kept numbers down. As it was no one could afford to go away so most came to the party.

i agree with you it’s not hard to put a date in the calendar but most people don’t want to be dealing with birthday parties during the school holidays, especially summer holidays. Even though I have an August baby i wouldn’t want to be making commitments in August, I want to just enjoy the time with my family.

I think that's fair enough. People want to keep the time free even if they haven't got anything booked yet.

My DS is the first weekend of the holidays and he is having a get together the weekend before.

My people!

Dad's birthday is very end of August and it's really fucking painful organising her party.

I've gone for the first Saturday in September this year. After a full year attending all the other beyond painful parties I hope some people at least return the favour.

The August birthdays in our class have a party mid September. Everyone attends fresh and excited!

Yes, in the future do a party one end of a school term.

What people are trying to say, reasonably politely, is that even if they weren’t away this isn’t what they want to be doing with their weekends. And I think I get it, once you’re out of the school term “zone” of weekend activities, buying presents and cards etc, parties are just a massive faff. But don’t take it personally- I mean ANY party!

Late July is bad too, you don’t want to end up sitting waiting for kids that accepted but don’t show up (ask me how I know )! Have the party either before school breaks up or when school starts up. Just do a little family thing on the actual birthdays. The kids are adaptable and will get used to this and actually enjoy having 2 birthdays 🥳 .

I think yabu.

The end of August is busy for many parents. Our own are in holiday clubs and they usually get out around mid-August. The weekends are family time. We then go travel to see family and celebrate our anniversary at the end of August and prep for the new school year, with both of our children at different schools, due to one being SN.

We already have most of August planned and accounted for.

Tbh, I wouldn’t prioritise going to a birthday party for kids that young. The least I would do is send a card and a gift if I knew the child/children.

Most the parents I know who are inviting people from school will do the party before they break up for the summer holidays.

I wouldn’t agree to anything the weekend just before the schools go back as usually that is spent running around getting haircuts and bits and pieces for them going back.

I wouldn’t commit mid June to a child’s birthday party at the end of August.

I spend almost every weekend in term time and a lot of afterschool time ferrying kids to parties and activities. I’ll commit to anything we are invited to and I’ll make the effort even if the party is at a silly time of day and miles away.

So quite honestly I take the summer holidays off from school related stuff, school related friends/birthday parties/play dates and we do lots of stuff just us as a family, or with more far flung friends. Summer weekends are precious. I wouldn’t “forget”, that’s ridiculous, but I would be very reluctant to commit to going. Especially 1:30-3:30 on a Saturday- that’s pretty much bang in the middle of the weekend.

It’s harsh on your kids, but I would just have the party in September - my son has a birthday at Christmas and we just accept his party will be in January.

I have a late August child and ALWAYS did the party in Sep. It's a no brainer.

I wouldn’t commit to a toddlers birthday party for August in June, most people haven’t planned out their summers yet and will prioritise family get together, weekends away to over having to attend the party of a 2/3yo in their toddlers nursery. It probably won’t be so bad in a few years when the kids are old enough to drop and run, but for such young kids presumably the parents would have to stay. The end of August is busy, parents don’t want to commit to having to make small talk at a toddler birthday party amongst all the other things they will be doing over the summer.

Thats really lame of them to offer that excuse tbh