Expecting husband to accompany me in the taxi home

[Sarahtm35]

A while ago my husband and I attended a birthday party at a club and because I never drink and rarely go out I ended up getting pretty drunk that night. It got to midnight and I asked him if we can go home as the party was over and I wasn’t feeling good. So he booked me an Uber and was about to send me off in it alone and carry on his night in town with his brother.
I got upset as I felt unsafe getting into a taxi alone when I was really drunk so he did resentfully get in the taxi with me.
about 1am I start receiving abusive texts from his mother and his brothers girlfriend about how I’d forced him to leave his brother in town and how he could have got into danger (his brother was with friends and told them this in the group chat) and I was made to feel quite worthless by them. as a result I don’t really speak to his brothers girlfriend anymore as she has never been nice to me and it came out she was having an affair anyway and I just haven’t got time for her.

so was I in the wrong for asking my husband to come with me in the taxi that night?
I know it was a while ago and it’s old news it’s just been brought up by him tonight and I need to know other peoples views on this.

I wasn’t being a nasty drunk I felt sick.
the party was over, everything was closing.
my husband goes out every weekend to pubs. I’m not a control freak and I definitely wasn’t being a ‘nasty drunk’

I dont want to derail the thread! But I do want to point out the irony of saying 'engage your brain' when men get attacked FAR more often then women. Use Google.

*of course I understand women are the victims on a more global level.

@ThePM

have a day off Hun!
what a fun sponge you sound

Well when the roles reversed he calls me in tears and I have to go rescue him at all hours. Last Christmas he fell in a bush and cut his head open and when I’ve not been able to rescue him I get calls from his mother having a go at ME for allowing him to go out and get in a State.
So yeah I think I know what happens when the roles are reversed but I suppose us women are supposed to be ‘independent’ these days aren’t we, heaven forbid we expect a man to protect and love us!!

@Sarahtm35

im more concerned as to why you haven’t had a night out for three years?! Why?! That doesn’t seem
fair on you at all

“Well when the roles reversed he calls me in tears”

ick

I’ve had evenings out to meals, shows etc but to be honest I’m a not a big fan of clubs. I’m 36 and would rather walk my dogs and go to a country pub. My daughter has epilepsy so if I want to drink I need experienced carers to step in as I have to be 100% on the ball to keep her safe.

Yeah I know the guy needs a big slap. This is why the topic was raised again as I’m fed up of him and his family and the way I’m treated.

The roles being reversed is not remotely the same for men and women. What are the chances of a man getting sexually assaulted versus the same happening to a woman?

He sounds awful, as do his family.

You and your child deserve better.

What's that got to do with anything would you have different expectations if she was ill?

Possibly assaults in a crowd or beinb robbed, so yes, but a lone women is more vulnerable in terms of respect I would think. I wouldn't let a man go home completely wasted either or leave him on his own to be assaulted

Honestly the responses on this thread are bizarre. She has gone home with her husband at midnight. That is entirely normal. She has not begged off half way through the night. I cant believe the amount of people thinking she should have got herself home. I must be living in a parralel universe. His mother sounds horrendous.

Are you speaking as a single person or as someone going out as a couple?

Some bizarre responses on this thread. A woman who hasn’t had a night out in years has a few cocktails and so feels a bit ropey and anxious at the end of the night. There should have been no question that her husband would accompany her home in a taxi, rather than prioritise his adult brother at midnight. I would never leave a drunk and vulnerable partner/friend/family member to get home alone late at night.

and can all the perfect people interrogating her about why she got drunk just fuck off?

My husband would have come home with me. However, I would have been perfectly ok to get a taxi home on my own and have done so many many times in the past, although I don’t really go out drinking these days. I think your MiL and sisters boyfriend are over bearing and don’t need to be involved.

Does that mean you have to drag your daughter out of bed to rescue him?

In your Op you said you "never drink" so in that case, how did you become drunk that night?

I have had to before yes but these days our 17 year old daughter will look after her.

‘Never drink’ as in its not the usual thing for me to do.

She's said she never normally drinks because of being on call for her daughter. This time she wasnt.

@Bbq1

ooh yes you’ve caught op out there! Well done you

@Sarahtm35 it sounds like you have far bigger relationship issues than this one night out.

Do you like/love him? Does he make you happy?

Honestly..I don’t know. He is so heavily immeshed in his parents and siblings lives, spending most weekends with them that it’s very hard for us to have our own family life. Everything he does is controlled by his mothers opinion, mothers needs, brothers needs etc. and he sees nothing wrong in that. We have a conflict of interests.