How far would you go to accommodate a vegan?

[Juicyj1993]

In a few weeks we're hosting a bbq for my Husband's birthday.

We have about a dozen guests coming, one of whom is vegan. As we don't normally buy vegan food I've started looking at what we'd normally buy and what is and isn't vegan. To make sure the vegan has the same variety of choice as everyone else I'm going to have to spend quite a bit on alternatives. As we have the non vegan alternatives we won't be eating the vegan versions, so they'll either go home with the guest or be thrown.

How much would you accommodate a vegan?

Would I be unreasonable to provide vegan burger with vegan cheese, plus bun and nothing else or do I need to go the whole hog and get vegan sausages, vegan condiments and vegan coleslaw?

Ps they are vegan by choice, not for medical reasons

" it takes real work to make vegan food taste good to an omnivore, used to the delicious umami and satiation of animal fats and textures."
Or you could use the same marinades you use on meat (checking the labels of any pre made sauces and so on) on slices of cauliflower or aubergine. Take 5 minutes to make some bean burgers (properly seasoned, just like you would season a meat one.) make a couple of Ottolenghi salads. But make them big ones-you'll have to fight the meat eaters off them...

People get really weird about vegans though despite the fact most people eat a variety of non animal or animal derived products anyway

Well you'd think that to be the case, but reading the comments on threads like this about not having any vegan food in, leftovers going to waste and making comments about having to 'fight the meat eaters off' vegetables as if choosing to eat them is strange and unexpected behaviour that needs to be planned for suggests otherwise.

Reading comprehension not your strong point?
Of course there will be non-meat based food. But it'll be just the sides. Not the main course.
That's the point of the discussion... To what extent should special main courses be made.

To make sure the vegan has the same variety of choice as everyone else

I wouldn't do that. The guest chose to be restrictive.
I was vegetarian for 17 yrs & never expected same variety of choice. That would be daft. Just needed enough decent quality food to be satisfied, not equivalent foods. I'd make a meal out of crisps and orange juice pretty happily.

It's not like a right to equity.
Thanks so much for helping me understand how one relative catered for me when I was vegetarian. They must have had same perspective as OP. I could see they were stressed out trying to achieve something I didn't understand. And worse, that I didn't need. Yet I couldn't understand why they tried so hard and I couldn't figure out how to explain what they should be doing.

I now understand a lot better threads on MN where people are catering for special diets, what their perspective is, why they get so het up. And why I have struggled to understand (!!)

This was Long time ago, I wish I could have communicated to them the right things to stop their stress.

Nothing brings out the dickheads like a thread about vegetarianism/veganism.

For the avoidance of doubt, it's fine for carnivores to eat vegan/vegetarian food.

It's a BBQ not a dinner party. There isn't really 'mains' and 'sides' or a 'main course'.

People tend to eat small plates of food over time and generally want to try a bit of most things so it makes sense to assume this when deciding quantities.

Its hardly an arduous task though is it? If the person doing the bbq is buying the meat then there are plenty of affordable sausages and burgers which cost less than meat (of course there are more expensive ones but lots aren't and some come in small packs). Or they could just ask the person and I suspect 9 times out of 10 due to people's ridiculousness they'll offer to bring their own.

I can't imagine circumstances-apart from serious allergy-that I would ask someone to bring their own food to my house! How incredibly rude.

It’s already so kind of you to look into all the options. I’d keep in mind that people generally at a bbq eat over a longer period but not per definition ‘more food’. So have you an option to provide a mix of like two burgers, two sausages (assuming the burgers come with buns and the sausages are not small). The vegan cheese if left over can be taken home or go to birds. You do not need vegan sides as such, there will be vegetables for the other guests, if you keep dressing as an ‘add yourself’ then the vegan can eat that veg too. You will have the grill issue, you can’t put vegan on the grill with everything else. Maybe get them one of those one-use table bbqs.

"It’s already so kind of you to look into all the options."

No it isn't! It's just basic lowest level good manners.

I’d ask them as they may be able to just bring what they want, or at least tell you the things they like. If you buy loads it could go to waste if it’s not what they like

I'm not vegan but I eat meat rarely because I dislike the taste and it really isn't as hard as people think

Fair enough, that's you; but lots of people very much DO like the taste of meat and dairy and include it in their regular balanced diets.

It's not a case of it being 'hard' for omnivores not to eat meat or dairy, unless you see food as nothing more than essential fuel that nobody would ever want to actually enjoy. Something like a barbecue is normally seen as a pleasurable social occasion and not just a means of getting calories into people to avoid starvation. You may as well say that pubs only need to serve tap water, as nobody actually needs any other kind of liquid refreshment.

Marinades on slices of cauli and eggplant sounds horrible to me, sorry. I don't think I could eat that. Maybe a litlle miso? Just a spray of olive oil and some searing should give plenty of flavour.

It's a BBQ not a dinner party. There isn't really 'mains' and 'sides' or a 'main course'

People do BBQs in different ways. We had one last night. With a ‘main’ and some side dishes.

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper "It's not a case of it being 'hard' for omnivores not to eat meat or dairy, unless you see food as nothing more than essential fuel that nobody would ever want to actually enjoy."

Why are you assuming you wouldn't enjoy vegan/vegetarian options?

@HerbsandSpices "Marinades on slices of cauli and eggplant sounds horrible to me, sorry. I don't think I could eat that." Really? If you like miso, you should try teriyaki aubergine. Or soy glazed cauliflower.

Same here

Actually, I thought about it a bit further and thought lightly brushed on might be quite nice. I was picturing it drenched in the same way meat usually is.

I think just some vegetables is fine if they want specific vegan sausages etc then they can bring them and not all vegans like "meat substitutes"

I'm gluten free (not by choice I don't know why anyone wants to eat sand tasting bread!) and I always take something I know is safe for me to eat and a salad with me as I appreciate how tricky and stressful it can be.

Saying that there are easy salad options which are vegan such as a tabbouleh (if you have gf people then just make it with quinoa instead), rainbow salad, green salad etc. Jacket potatoes wrapped in foil onto the coals of a bbq are awesome. Garlic mushrooms (large flat mushrooms garlic and oil wrapped in foil) is another easy option too.

Well I haven't grown out of being vegetarian after some 40 years or so...

I only cook vegetarian food for guests. A lot of it will be technically vegan too and if I do have vegan guests (not often, I find most vegans unbearable) then most veggie dishes can be tweaked.

I've one friend who is a die hard meat eater and "hates vegetarian food". I don't think he's actually noticed the absence of meat yet!

To the OP. It needn't be hard nor expensive. I'd avoid buying the vegan cheese - most people find it horrible and I personally would be ecstatic to be offered a proper vegetable burger rather than a fake meat thing. Many sauces and condiments are vegan anyway. Have a look at the labels on the ones you already have and you may be surprised by how much vegan food you have already. Serve salads plain with the meat and dairy "extras" like cheese etc separately so that people can add their own or not as the case may be.

For those who can't be bothered to cater for veggies/vegans then please just don't invite us. We'll all be happier.

"It's not a case of it being 'hard' for omnivores not to eat meat or dairy, unless you see food as nothing more than essential fuel that nobody would ever want to actually enjoy."

Why are you assuming you wouldn't enjoy vegan/vegetarian options?

Why are you assuming that omnivores don't already enjoy vegetables/plants - but as part of their chosen balanced diet? I'm not saying at all that omnivores would necessarily view wholly vegan-friendly meals as unpleasant and nothing more than essential fuel, but most would see them on their own as lacking and (for them) unnecessarily restrictive.

To a vegan, a vegan meal is just their normal and making menu choices from the available foods that they want to eat; but to a great many omnivores, it's a menu that's been drawn up deliberately discounting all meat and all dairy, which are omni staples.

I'm in favour of accommodating everybody according to their choices/needs; but there does seem to be some dissonance in this thread, whereby people are pointing out that many vegans 'don't like' and therefore wouldn't be happy to eat various vegan-friendly foods, such as veggie burgers/'meat substitutes' and vegan cheese, whereas others are telling omnivores that their choices as to what they would like to eat (and liking meat and cheese at a barbecue is hardly a niche tradition) can be instantly ignored and they can just have what they're given.

I've one friend who is a die hard meat eater and "hates vegetarian food". I don't think he's actually noticed the absence of meat yet!

That's just silly and childish for somebody to proclaim that; but equally, I find it patronising when some vegans/veggies sneer and express faux surprise when omnivores do express a liking for meat and dairy as a common part of their balanced meals.

To an omnivore, 'vegetarian food' isn't some crazy alien substance that has to be avoided at all costs: it's simply a significant part of their own diet.

If I had a friend who said they "hate vegetarian food" that's all I would serve.

As I've said a few times on this thread, I never don't take my own foods to BBQs (and I go to quite a lot of them) unless It's close friends/family who insist I don't need to and whom I know will get things I'll like/aren't going to be causing themselves stress or spending money they don't have. It's good to ask what people would like to eat, generally! If I was having people around for dinner I'd likely ask if there's anything they particularly DON'T like, or if there are any requirements.

Yes my diet is very normal for me, but vegans are still a minority, I'll likely be the only one there and the BBQ hosts might not know what to get-taking my own avoids them mistakenly buying vegetarian burgers instead of vegan, for example. If I was someone who didn't like faux meat, again-taking one's own prevents the host buying something that won't get eaten-veganism isn't something many people are interested/experienced in still.

I went to a large, organised BBQ at my partner's sports club recently. They had potato wedges for everyone, fine for me too, and we took two vegan burgers for me, cooked wrapped in foil. Ketchup's vegan as is chilli sauce which I added to the burger. Bit of rocket in the buns, that's me fed, no drama, and not requiring a lot of thought processes or creating of a lot of 'special' dishes.

This is only me personally, but I'd not be happy if a host, for example, told me they had it covered, insisted I didn't bring my own things and then only provided a green salad-salad has been mentioned a lot on this thread! It's a nice addition to burgers/other BBQ sandwiches, but BBQs often involve booze, and even if they don't, I'd be starving and sloshed if I'd only had a salad sandwich.

My Mum has done this before! Albeit a long time ago. I got used to taking my own and repeating the phrase 'I am a vegan, not a rabbit' quite often. But again, vegans aren't a homogonous group and some prefer to not eat faux meat etc.

It isn't the best for us, I agree. It's very processed and salty. But It's not going to harm anyone if only now and again.

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper (great name ) I actually much prefer it when people say 'I eat meat/dairy 'cause I like it!' It's much more common that they try to preach at me about how we can't live without it/It's essential for this or that/but what would we do with all the cowwwwwwzzz?!?' I am well-versed in such arguments and they usually always aren't! Just be honest, you like the taste of it, job done!