How far would you go to accommodate a vegan?

[Juicyj1993]

In a few weeks we're hosting a bbq for my Husband's birthday.

We have about a dozen guests coming, one of whom is vegan. As we don't normally buy vegan food I've started looking at what we'd normally buy and what is and isn't vegan. To make sure the vegan has the same variety of choice as everyone else I'm going to have to spend quite a bit on alternatives. As we have the non vegan alternatives we won't be eating the vegan versions, so they'll either go home with the guest or be thrown.

How much would you accommodate a vegan?

Would I be unreasonable to provide vegan burger with vegan cheese, plus bun and nothing else or do I need to go the whole hog and get vegan sausages, vegan condiments and vegan coleslaw?

Ps they are vegan by choice, not for medical reasons

Being veganism is very different from being 'fussy'. But then I am not like some people on this thread, I would cater for someone 'fussy' within reason. If they said for example they only liked a certain type of burger that was only from a supermarket that I didn't have access to without a 20 mile round trip, nope but if it was something I could easily get hold of or they wanted me to get a particular type of condiment then yes. We all have 'fussy' food preferences to a certain extent anyway.

Of the people saying they love all animals although they eat some and have others in their care, if your cat needed euthanising and it was a cheaper/more convenient option to send him/her to the nearest slaughterhouse would you do it-just be honest and say you love SOME animals, it makes more sense than a blanket statement of how much you love 'them' as in all of them equally.

With the arguments about it being a belief or not, a fussiness or not, veganism comes under the protected characteristic of 'Religion or Philosophical belief'. legally. They are protected in the workplace (for example) by law both in the UK and internationally. It is absolutely to do with beliefs-under the same protected characteristic comes humanism, pacifism and believers of man-made climate change- none are religions per se but all protected the same way as religions because they harbour the same attributes. Under the same umbrella comes Rastafarianism (both a religion and political movement),Jainism is similar, -We are granted freedom from discrimination-that we often get. I have already outlined what happened to me a few weeks ago that was extremally embarrassing. I've also been ridiculed multiple times and once had meat items swung about in my face (by an octogenarian at a family party). I do not like attention on myself and just want to eat my food and have a peaceful day/evening. I have never preached or even mentioned my veganism on such occasions and some comments on this thread would be undoubtedly never said if it referred to a set of beliefs and values that involved worshipping a deity.

Sociologically, a religion is 'A set of beliefs and values one lives their life by'-by this definition veganism absolutely is a religion.

The only belief systems that cannot come under the protected characteristics in the equality act are beliefs detrimental to human life, such as holocaust deniers and extreme groups such as white/black supremacist groups, or terrorism-based ones such as ISIS.

surely you can see that Veganism is different to fussy or daddy eating?!

No, I don’t see that. Without a religious or medical reason veganism is not necessary, moral or dictated by tradition. It’s just fussy and faddy.

Not wanting to eat animals has everything to do with morals. And actually, to me, seems a far more rational or ‘moral’ belief than not eating pork or shellfish (if you eat other meats and fish) or mixing meat and dairy on the same plate. Which you seem to deem worthy of respect as they are religious choices.

If the dietary rules are not part of an established, culturally longstanding and scripturally-based religion then it’s just a personal preference. Veganism of itself is as much a religion as Scientology or Jedi Knights are: it’s a modern day made-up lifestyle choice. Nobody who eats meat, eggs or gelatin, or drinks milk, or wears wool or silk, is less moral than a vegan.

And to the last poster above, employment law on discrimination in the workplace has nothing to do with people’s views in the wider world. If I host you as a guest I’m not your employer.

OK 😁

@JohnnysSoLongAtTheFair

It’s cos they care about animal welfare! I take it you don’t?

To a point. But I think it’s fine to farm and slaughter animals. And I think shunning leather shoes and woolly jumpers is laughable.

there are so many delicious foods, like er vegetables that shock horror even meat eaters can enjoy 😉 as well as vegans!!!

I very much enjoy fruit and vegetables. I also enjoy meat, poultry, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, honey etc etc etc .

@JohnnysSoLongAtTheFair

good for you. I have no idea why you are so scathing of vegetarians and vegans who don’t eat eat meat. It’s no harm to you.

@JohnnysSoLongAtTheFair "I very much enjoy fruit and vegetables. I also enjoy meat, poultry, fish, eggs, milk, cheese, honey etc etc etc ."

So do I. I don't eat all of them on the same day, though!

I’m not scathing of vegetarians. In my experience they’re generally reasonable and easily fed.

Vegans, though…

It is ‘harm’ to me - or at least major disruption- if I discover someone who won’t eat anything served because there is, or it can’t be proved there isn’t, some animal product or extract in it, or that there isn’t cross ‘contamination’.

@JohnnysSoLongAtTheFair

oh well, I’m happy to accommodate a vegan
i admire their values and principles
go vegans!

Kind of aghast at all the people saying they wouldn't eat a meat-substituted vegan burger and OP must prepare something else.

If you're coming to my home, and I'm accommodating you as best I can, even if that is a vegan burger, and you refuse to eat it because 'processed' then you wouldn't be welcome again. That's not just veganism, that's quite a restricted diet you're eating and expected to be catered to.

I'm an extremely fussy eater, but if I went somewhere that had tried to accommodate me, I'd try to eat what I could and not turn my nose up at it. If it's something you wouldn't usually eat but can (ie not against beliefs, principles or intolerances) and you snub it, you're being incredibly rude to the hosts.

I once accommodated a couple of my oh's friends for dinner (one of whom is a vegetarian), I was going to do a chicken curry and upon learning they were veggie, changed it to chickpea curry (for us all). I worked really hard on it and made it from scratch, so it took some time.

She obviously forgot about it, as when we next saw them she made the faux pax of saying 'it's hard as a vegetarian, whenever you're invited anywhere for dinner you just get fed chickpeas'. I think she forgot it was me that she was referring to. Never again.

Can't be arsed with stuck up attitudes like that.

Doesn't everyone run menus (meat, veggie, vegan, whatever) past everyone these days before hosting? I can't say I've ever not asked someone what they do or don't eat before they turn up and likewise I've always been asked. If it's a bbq I always take something extra (that most people will eat). It's also to ensure there are no allergies etc (I have gluten free/ dairy free friends as well as those allergic to shellfish etc).

Doesn't everyone run menus (meat, veggie, vegan, whatever) past everyone these days before hosting?

No. If people have allergies or are fussy eaters and they accept an invitation to eat at someone else's house, the onus should be on them to inform their host of what they can't/won't eat.

Ah, that's not how it seems to work in my world. Everyone checks.

Oh yes. I can imagine the field day some on here would have if you announced to your host in advance you were vegan. They'd be running rings around themselves at your entitlement in expecting them to accommodate your 'fad'. If the host cares to meet people's dietary requirements they'll ask, and be gratefully informed. If they don't well, most if us will just est bread and salad. Ideally without the side order of hostility.

Exactly. Much simpler to just ask in a courteous manner - surely if youre having people over to eat then you do actually like them. But that's far too easy and means you can't then bandy around the word 'entitled' to amyone who'll listen 😅😅😅

Or they’d just say “How nice for you. But as you have no proper need to make things difficult for me and the other guests, bring your own and have a lovely time”.

But if they did say that I expect you’d cop a huff, refuse to come and whinge about all the “immoral” people who turn up in leather shoes, eat mozzarella and drink non-vegan wine.

Some of the replies on the last few pages are disgusting.

People saying that patriarchal religions (that oppress women) are fine to have limited diets but vegans can’t have the same freedom? Nonsense. If you think that you need to have a long, hard look at whose values you’re promoting here.

Veganism is fundamentally about consent. Animals cannot consent to their bodies being used to produce food or other items for us, therefore we should not use their bodies.

When you think about it, a diet based on healthy consent is far more relevant to our modern world than a diet based on a culture near the equator with no fridges.

Well, couldn't blame them if they did in that scenario to be honest.
If you were going to be a rude dick for the sake of it to them, expect to get it back.

Many of our friends (in our 30's!) still live with their parents or in flats. So our house becomes the default meetup venue, because we have a variety of financial situations .In which case I don't have time to cater, if I can't find something suitable at the supermarket bring your own.

If I organise a dinner party with specific people invited then yes, all dietary needs etc will be catered for.

I too like my friends and feeding people. But it takes TIME, which I don't have in abundance. I'm already being very generous cleaning the house for BBQ's and things.

Also I think it's @BarbaraofSeville who said that a BBQ is 'lots of small plates with people trying everything'. Wrong, everyone has their own style.
Ours is mostly sausages, most people aren't interested in 'trying everything' they want lots of familiar meat.
I have other friends who wouldn't even consider supermarket stuff, all BBQ foods are carefully prepared with homemade marinades etc.
To each their own...

I am of the “small plates” BBQ inclination.

I never do sausages on the bbq though because I suspect they are the only food that tastes worse on a bbq unless you half precook them first…

even when I was growing up with parents and grandparents who wouldn’t have eaten a meal without meat ever, I have to say that our family bbqs always had more vegetables and other sides than meat.

It is really hard to find vegan food at a supermarket.

Yeah, it's your shoes, cheese and wine that are putting people off. That'll be it. No question.