Single mum and finances, what would you risk here?

[whattodopp]

I don’t know what to do. Our child’s father works for the nhs in a relatively stable role and high salary. We are not on good terms but he obviously pays maintenance. I am thinking of going back to work part time so I can spend more time with dc. This would bring my salary down to 45k working three days a week, with maintenance of around 700 currently. I worry about relying on the maintenance given how terrible the system is and he has no obligation to pay if out of work, though I sense he would never give up his job (far too much of an ego for that!).

My current salary is much higher than 45k when I work 5 days and I wonder if I’m being reckless going down to three days when I am a single mum? Ds is only 13 months so I am new to this. I’m 33 if that is relevant. I wouldn’t want to do four days as you end up doing five in the industry I am in, but just not getting paid for it! So it’s 5 days or 3…

Depends on where you live, and your lifestyle really, but 45K is a healthy salary for just the 2 of you. Presumably you could return to full time if you needed to.

As above poster says, it depends on your location and outgoings. Personally I took the risk and went part time, do you have savings if the shit hits the fan? Could you easily increase your hours back up again if he messes around with maintenance?

Op you provide such scant detail, it would be reckless for anyone to advise

I'm a lone parent, have been for 14 years. Honestly I'd go full time, there are many reasons I say this but also it's only a couple of years or so before they start school I'd suck it up and not take the career/financial risks.

Well what are your outgoings for a start?

3 if you can afford it

45k is more than double what many people earn working full-time, and you'll get £700 maintenance on top.

I don't think you're exactly going to be struggling!

He could always change his mind and decide not to work as many hours (like you are considering) which would reduce the amount he has to pay.

If you are that concerned about having control over your monthly income, then the only real way to do this is to assume he pays nothing. Kinda like a financial stress test.

Can you live and your child on 3 days work a week?

I’m a single mum and I’m part time which works well for us.

I think the at my main question would be around savings. In your position I would want to either be able to comfortably live on 45k. Or I would want sufficient savings in the bank that I could manage for 6 months if dad stopped paying maintenance.

Surely you can live of 45k if you need to? That isn't a low salary.

I think you'll be best able to judge whether your ex is the type to pay maintenance consistently.

For me it would depend on how much savings you have, how much your outgoings will change (eg childcare costs) if you drop 2 days and how easy it would be to pick up 2extra days again if you needed to. Also how much spare you have at the end of the week once all bills are paid.

I'm in a sort of similar position. Single parent, 2 kids, currently on £55k for 4 days pw with £600 maintenance each month. Considering cutting down to 3 days to save on nursery and have a better life balance but I live in London and will be paying mortgage on my own etc.

I earn more than that and I’m a single parent, I wouldn’t be able to get by on any less than I do. I do have a lot of debt to pay off from the divorce, car loan etc and live in an expensive area but money is very very tight. You also need to think about the level of pension contribution you can make on a part-time salary.

How do you want your career to work out? Your 30's are where you get your promotions generally and sadly time out means women often lose out. No criticism of that, - i took time but but have totally clobbered my career as i am now trying to get where i should have been 5 years ago whilst peri menopausal!! I'm still getting paid virtually what i was paid over a decade ago and that is a direct result of taking a slower time in my mid 30's. Had i stayed on the same trajectory i was on previously i would now be on more than double my current salary.

At under £50k you presumably will get child benefit as well as the extra maintenance though which is probably similar to what someone on £75k is actually taking home as you will only be paying basic rate tax.

@legalbeagleneeded i don’t understand the tax point, I thought it just meant I would get 87 quid a month child benefit? Which wouldn’t make it up to 75k a year?

No, £45k net plus child benefit (which you wouldn't get otherwise) plus the £700 maintenance puts you at about the same total net income on someone earning about £75k.

Obviously you would still get the maintenance if working more hours but to put it into context its not a low total income either way.

I would maybe cut back hours until dc is 3 as childcare will eat into your income.

But overall, i wish in retrospect that i had worked full time rather than part time abs decimated my career. Will be very industry specific though.

I live in a relatively cheap area but have easily brought two children up alone on £25-30k and minimal maintenance. I work full time hours in four days. Even now they're older, I need that day alone.

@legalbeagleneeded oh sorry I see what you mean. Whilst I can guarantee ex won’t give up his job because he has a precious ego to maintain high up in the nhs, I worry he could be manipulative and change his pension or even move abroad deliberately to avoid paying. He is a lowlife, he only pays on time at the moment because child Maintenance manage it and he would be mortified if it came out as an attachment of earnings.

If he does move abroad as a lot of surgeons etc do a lot of countries don't have reciprocity in CSA so you wouldn't be able to enforce it if he does.

I said up thread I'd stay full time but that's because I never got a bean from the ex, was worried part time would decimate my career etc...didn't want to take the risk.

@whattodopp the starting point is to use a gross to net calculator to establish net pay - you may be surprised the drop in take home pay is not as much as you might think. https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/tax-calculator/

As pp have said you will get CB. plus are their savings from reducing childcare costs?

You could also look at doing 3 longer days so rather than going from 37.5 to 22.5 hours you could do 3 x 8 hour days = 24 hours or 3 x 8.5 hours etc.

If DH does do something to reduce maintenance how difficult would it be for you to increase hours?

Personally if I had my own home with a mortgage, could cover all outgoings I would go part time.

How is changing his pension being manipulative? It will impact on the amount he contributes to his child- but you are thinking of dropping 2 days a week work - which has an impact too.

You have split up. You don't live together. You have no control over what he does re pension, moving abroad etc and you would be naive to think you can. Hating him for it and letting it stress you out is counter productive and you will just be bitter.

You should assume zero contribution and work out what's best for you and your child. Seems like you have the earning potential to do just that- so do it.

I would love to be in your position

I've never sure if these threads are a stealth boast.

£45k part time is a distant dream for most single parents. In fact, getting £700 maintenance on top of that is a double distant dream.

So unless you have a ridiculous mortgage and some other drop fees you are being pretty ridiculous