Single mum and finances, what would you risk here?

[whattodopp]

I don’t know what to do. Our child’s father works for the nhs in a relatively stable role and high salary. We are not on good terms but he obviously pays maintenance. I am thinking of going back to work part time so I can spend more time with dc. This would bring my salary down to 45k working three days a week, with maintenance of around 700 currently. I worry about relying on the maintenance given how terrible the system is and he has no obligation to pay if out of work, though I sense he would never give up his job (far too much of an ego for that!).

My current salary is much higher than 45k when I work 5 days and I wonder if I’m being reckless going down to three days when I am a single mum? Ds is only 13 months so I am new to this. I’m 33 if that is relevant. I wouldn’t want to do four days as you end up doing five in the industry I am in, but just not getting paid for it! So it’s 5 days or 3…

@febrezeme I’ll never be part time with 24/7 responsibility of our child, though - responsibility that he has opted out of.

@Jazzappledelish I didn’t say that. @taxpayer1 as I’ve just notified you in my response, it would be great if he was a decent person and had our dc 50% of the time. No need for any maintenance then. He’s not keen on that, though.

@LakieLady I think 1k a month is loads to pay on your own? I’m in midlands/Bham/Derbyshire area (deliberately vague)

1k is a lot to pay, but it’s a smaller percentage of your earnings.
I earn 23k a year so less then half what you do, my rent is 500 so exactly half what you pay to a mortgage, I will never see any of that money back like you will, that is very low in my area.
Id be in dream land if I got 700 in maintenance, that’s half my take home pay.

Average rents in my city for a 2 bed place looks to be about 800 to 900pm.
From a quick search on rightmove.
I’m in the midlands too, some of these places look like absolute dumps that you wouldn’t raise a dog in let alone a child.
None of them are below £695 including the worst areas of terraced houses, no gardens no parking and just shit places to be let alone raise kids.
We need rent controls or something the housing prices are just ridiculous.
Do what’s best for your family op but in the current climate your post is more than a little tone deaf.
Ive been a single parent for 12 years, I know how scary and frustrating it can be but you’re in a very fortunate position as a starting point so just do what’s best and unlike others you will be fine no matter what you decide.

In that case, I am with you. If you have offered 50% of the time and he is not willing, you are not unreasonable to work fewer hours.

@whattodopp before you get advice here or make a decision a few questions:

1. How much savings do you have? Do you have an emergency fund?
2. What's your housing like? Do you own, rent etc.
3. How much of 45k does your living costs take? Mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance, petrol, food, childcare etc. If you can live off 30/35 k then you are okay
4. Can you survive without maintenance? I'd put that 700 into an account and not touch it and see if you have enough without. It is not guaranteed income.

Income alone should allow you to be okay, but there are so so so many factors.

Another huge question - if you did this for 2/3 years what are the chances you could go back to full time when your dc is 3 or 4? Some industries that isn't a problem at all, others it may mean needing to find a new job etc.

Because some men do this as a way of reducing CMS. So it's to the detriment of their child.

A residential parent is the one making the sacrifices for the benefit of the child. One choice is selfish the other is selfless.