Fiver in a card for an adult?

[User565394]

Young lad who volunteers at ds football club is leaving to go to college.

We've got him a card and I thought I might put a fiver in it with a note to buy himself a beer at college. Is that weird?

I've asked around but no other parents are going to get him anything. He's not been there all that long but he's worked hard and ds likes him. I think he'd appreciate the thought.

Ds usually goes there and back by bus so I can't send him with actual beer.

So, AIBU to give him a fiver with a card? Is a fiver too mean?

YABU- £5 doesn't even buy a beer nowadays, give him £10

YANBU- its just a token thank you, £5 is fine.

I guess option 3 is to just give the card with nothing but I'd like to think the £5 will make him smile.

I think its a lovely thing to do but don’t assume everyone drinks alcohol

Since he asked your DC to sign the fiver, sounds like he is going to keep it

I'm sure a cider drinker wouldn't be offended by 'buy yourself a beer' and a non drinker could have a coke, ginger beer, lime and soda, lemonade.

@Krickley - agree not everyone will drink alcohol, but by giving cash it means they can buy a nice coffee, or a meal deal or a hot chocolate or a big box of chocolates or whatever their treat is. I expect the young adult / coach will be able to work that out - that is was a kind thanks from an appreciative parent.

In the same way people might tip the removal men or bin men and say "get yourself a drink".... no-one actually expects them to come back with a receipt from a bar, it is more of an expression.

Jesus Christ people are weird on Mumsnet! Nothing is better than a fiver?? You did a lovely thing OP and it sounds like the lad was happy. If he doesn’t drink he can get 5 £1 bags of sweets with it. I’ll just thank my lucky stars that I still live in an area where a pint is £4 max 😂.

I agree. It's a gesture. A nice gesture. Can't believe someone said you should put £20 in 😮

I always judge things like this by thinking how I would react and I'd think 'what a nice thing to do'

Exactly @seratoninmoonbeams

It sounds very thoughtful OP

I think £5 is insulting. I would either just give a nice card or £10.

Well, you can insult me all you like @Growlybear83

I don't understand that thinking at all. If you are going to tip someone, or give them a "Buy yourself a pint" fiver, then that is nice. a) because they see you appreciate them and b) because at that sort of age, a bonus fiver is a bonus indeed.
My dd is a waitress at the moment. She doesn't feel the least bit insulted if someone leaves her a couple of quid on the table. A couple of quid in her pocket is worth FAR more than someone haughtily saying "it is insulting to leave anything less than 10%" and persuading people it is somehow embarassing to leave less. Same principle.

YANBU.

There's some pubs where a fiver won't get him a beer, but it'll get him a few of them in a supermarket.

I think a fiver was just fine too. It's a sweet thing to have done.

Mumsnet is funny about money gifts. Look at some of the wedding gift threads. Lots of posters suggest £25 for all day wedding gifts but on this thread a £5 is thought to be 'embarrassing'.

lovely idea

Insulting? He's a young lad for whom every penny matters. He's not her son fgs!

Exactly spend twenty quid on someone you've known for thirty years and has spent 100 odd quid at least hosting your family for a wedding but for a young lad you barely know you should push the boat out?

The OP wasn’t paying’ him. She was giving a token gesture of appreciation. It’s the same as someone putting a lottery scratch card into a card.

It was a token!

The thing I find odd about all the posts berating the OP for not giving more, is that it wouldn’t cross most people mind’s to give a card and token to somebody. I’d love to know how many people gave a card and token to the coaches in addition to the sports/activity fees already paid? I’d hazard a guess not many at all!

Could go for a costa or Starbucks £5 voucher

Money gives more options. On the rare occasion I have a coffee out with someone I don't want to have to say 'wait, let's go here as I have a voucher I need to use'. Many people choose independents too.

Can you stretch to a tenner.

Saying £5 is an insult is ridiculous and actually insulting to people on a low budget.

If he's a young lad and off to collage he will probably go to Spoons anyway. You can get two drinks or more
in there for a fiver.

This is such a terrible attitude.
I am genuinely broke, using food pantries etc. If I gave someone a fiver, that's because I truly appreciate someone and it's a big chunk of my money, but I want to show them how much I value them.

You need to learn some humility if a fiver is an insult

Can you RTFT?

Can you explain why it would be insulting?

You ask advice.

Half hour later you decide you don't need advice.

Why bother asking?