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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fiver in a card for an adult?

101 replies

User565394 · 23/06/2023 21:03

Young lad who volunteers at ds football club is leaving to go to college.

We've got him a card and I thought I might put a fiver in it with a note to buy himself a beer at college. Is that weird?

I've asked around but no other parents are going to get him anything. He's not been there all that long but he's worked hard and ds likes him. I think he'd appreciate the thought.

Ds usually goes there and back by bus so I can't send him with actual beer.

So, AIBU to give him a fiver with a card? Is a fiver too mean?

YABU- £5 doesn't even buy a beer nowadays, give him £10

YANBU- its just a token thank you, £5 is fine.

I guess option 3 is to just give the card with nothing but I'd like to think the £5 will make him smile.

OP posts:
wetpebbles · 23/06/2023 21:43

A fiver is fine, it will likely make his day 😀

KarmaStar · 23/06/2023 21:50

Ten of you can afford it.
It's a lovely gesture.
Don't worry about doing or not doing the same as others,follow your kind heart,it will mean something to him.

PimpMyFridge · 23/06/2023 21:58

Showing your appreciation is lovely and an encouraging thing to do. He's done a good thing and made a difference to your Ds. Tenner if you can afford it.

ThePoshUns · 23/06/2023 21:59

Fiver is fine. Enough a pint

oohyoudevilyou · 23/06/2023 22:10

Fiver is fine for a token thank you gift. Box of Ferrero Rocher or Malteasers is also a nice inexpensive gesture. My 18 yr old son would be very pleased with this, and certainly not offended.

Original poster
User565394 · 23/06/2023 22:23

Callipsi · 23/06/2023 21:35

College? Is he drinking age?

Oh I hadn't even though of that. Yes I think so. I think he's done (or doing) a levels right now then going to college to do some kid of sport science thing. So he's likely be 18 by the time he starts at college?

OP posts:
GG1986 · 23/06/2023 22:24

What about a greggs gift card instead?

poodlepuppy · 23/06/2023 22:26

WimpoleHat · 23/06/2023 21:16

A fiver is basically a pint, isn’t it? So a “buy yourself a pint on us” message is a nice one. I wouldn’t worry too much - it’s a nice gesture either way.

This

Original poster
User565394 · 23/06/2023 22:26

Ok I'm overthinking.
I've written thanks for volunteering with the football team, have a beer on us at college. Ds has drawn a picture of some stick man footballers, I've put £5 in the card and sealed it up.
Hope he's at football training in the morning and we can hand it over.

OP posts:
FanFanBam · 23/06/2023 22:26

If he’s a young lad he’ll probably wonder what cash is.

FurryPelmet · 23/06/2023 22:28

Five pounds is not insulting and I think it’s pretty unkind of the poster who said that to suggest that by being thoughtful you are somehow rude! Ignore that. A fiver and a ‘buy a pint on us’ note is lovely.

Thebirdhouse · 23/06/2023 22:29

User565394 · 23/06/2023 22:26

Ok I'm overthinking.
I've written thanks for volunteering with the football team, have a beer on us at college. Ds has drawn a picture of some stick man footballers, I've put £5 in the card and sealed it up.
Hope he's at football training in the morning and we can hand it over.

I think that sounds lovely.

It’s kind and thoughtful.

Forget what other posters are saying that you have to give ten. There is a good chance they are the very people who wouldn’t even think of acknowledging his help.

StarchySturgess1 · 23/06/2023 22:29

FanFanBam · 23/06/2023 22:26

If he’s a young lad he’ll probably wonder what cash is.

No, he won't 🙄

roundcork · 23/06/2023 22:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the user.

LadyJ2023 · 23/06/2023 22:48

Do you know 5 or 10 whatever you can afford its the thought that totally counts

LadyJ2023 · 23/06/2023 22:50

Oh and I see so.e comments but whee I live the cheapest pint is just over 7 quid so not everywhere is reasonable lol and there's only 1 pub here. But he may wish to use it for something else..anyway its lovely there are people like my family who still think of others

FlutterShite · 23/06/2023 22:56

A fiver is an insult? Crivens, I can't believe someone wrote that. A fiver in a card is a lovely gesture. It will go a decent way in a college bar or cafe.

Giveuprobot · 23/06/2023 22:57

FlyingSoap · 23/06/2023 21:31

Tenner or nothing. A fiver doesn’t buy you even a McDonalds anymore!

So weird. If someone gave you a fiver, you'd just put it in a bin?

Tidlywinks · 23/06/2023 22:58

Used to get this occasionally when I ran a sport for kids not too long ago. A fiver was always gratefully received (and usually spent on a drink as suggested 😊).

FlyingSoap · 23/06/2023 22:58

Giveuprobot · 23/06/2023 22:57

So weird. If someone gave you a fiver, you'd just put it in a bin?

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It’s not weird, is it, I just think it would make more sense to either just give a card or if you’re going to put money in it make it £10.

TheCig · 23/06/2023 23:02

FlutterShite · 23/06/2023 22:56

A fiver is an insult? Crivens, I can't believe someone wrote that. A fiver in a card is a lovely gesture. It will go a decent way in a college bar or cafe.

A fiver says, on your birthday here's the smallest amount of money I could put in a card. Im not rich, but saying that you "can't believe" some would find it a bit rude beggars belief.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/06/2023 23:03

£10

Lindy2 · 23/06/2023 23:09

I think it's a lovely idea.

£5 is absolutely fine. It doesn't need to be any more than that. It really is the thought that counts and it's sad do many on here appear to be so materialistic.

I'm sure he'll enjoy buying a drink with it and appreciate your kind gesture.

UsingChangeofName · 23/06/2023 23:11

How lovely of you.
Really thoughtful.
My dd volunteered at cubs for 5 years before going to University. I heard lots of (2nd hand) comments via adult Leaders about how good when was, but she never had a single card, let alone a fiver from any of the parents when she went to University.
I think this is lovely, and, as you realise not about the amount, but about the thought.

SayHi · 23/06/2023 23:11

TheCig · 23/06/2023 23:02

A fiver says, on your birthday here's the smallest amount of money I could put in a card. Im not rich, but saying that you "can't believe" some would find it a bit rude beggars belief.

Show quote history

FFS you’ve got to be lying.

Someone gives you money and you’d find it insulting?!

OP I can guarantee that he’d be chuffed receiving £5 in a card.

Don’t listen to the MN weirdos telling you to put in £10 or ore or nothing.

You sound lovely and he’ll really appreciate your thoughtfulness.

P.S. if there are any MNers who’ve received £5 notes and find it insulting then feel free to send them to me instead :)