Page 7 | To wonder how to get school parents to volunteer to do anything?

FishfingerFlinger · 2023-06-23T16:58:37+00:00

I’m a somewhat reluctant volunteer for the school PTA - only reluctant because I have a full-on job (12hr+ days most of this week) another volunteer role and am frankly frazzled. Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen. But they think the magic fairies make it happen? Some schools seem to have an abundance of volunteers making elaborate fairs happen. All I’m asking is for someone to man the bat the rat stall for half an hour and I can’t even get that. What am i doing wrong here?

12345mummy · 23/06/2023 20:52

We’ve streamlined massively. We no longer run poorly attended events. We keep them short and sweet and with a captive audience eg Nativity/Sports Day refreshments. We ask for cake donations and arrange clothing collections so those who can’t give up time through the day can still help in some way. We don’t hold a School Fayre, it’s a bbq with a few stalls manned by the kids. Most money is made from food/bar sales. There’s still a handful of us doing the organising but we do get helpers and I think it’s easier to ask for help if it’s not that often.

Oneearringlost · 23/06/2023 20:54

Why not offer a swap.? They volunteer for school fair and you'll put yourself in their kitchen and batch cook for their freezer using complete UHP- free ingredients?😀

strawberry2017 · 23/06/2023 20:55

I'm an adult and I'm allowed to say no and nobody should be able to force me in to doing something I don't want to.
Simple.
I get that the fairs are for fundraising, I'll attend, I'll spend money on shit I don't want. But I have literally no desire to be involved in the planning.

OhMaria2 · 23/06/2023 20:58

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 23/06/2023 18:28

THIS. I am volunteering to set up summer fair and chaperone the disco but only very reluctantly and because DH works from home he can watch the kids. Weird that you’re assuming every year 5 parent doesn’t have younger kids to think about?

I was SO up for helping with the Christmas fair - I started making stuff for stalls, costed them up etc (this was all asked for), then PTA woman was just like ‘no, someone else suggested THIS so do that please’….. I said ‘ok well whoever suggested that stall can organise it then’. So that left a bad taste in my mouth and, to answer your question, is why I don’t want to volunteer anymore.

Also a different PTA member works in the school’s accounts and knows they’re healthy. So said herself why not just have something fun for the kids for once, instead of shitty annoying ways to make money.

Literally scrabbling around for 50ps, £1s, providing jolly jars (literally have to buy jars in order to empty them to then fill with sweets to donate to school)….. i would rather just PayPal money.

The worst was ‘show us who you are day’ for the food bank… so parents had to organise their kids’ accessories to reflect their interests, and in exchange donate to the food bank. JUST ASK FOR FOOD BANK DONATIONS!!!!!!!

I am sick of it tbh. Just ask for donations instead of all the rubbish events.

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"So said herself why not just have something fun for the kids for once, instead of shitty annoying ways to make money."
This so much!
School fairs really suck

HereComesMaleficent · 23/06/2023 21:00

I neither help/volunteer or show up to anything outside of school hours.

If it's in school hours and you want £1 towards party food or whatever I'll send son in with a quid.

Honestly though, schools ned to calm down with all the "events". Just open the doors at 8:40 , teach the kids, and release them for home at 3:20.

I require nothing else from you. Not even sure where all the money from these fundraising events go.

DyslexicPoster · 23/06/2023 21:02

I wanted join my ptarmigan. I am a governor with 8 years experience of running a school. I'm not welcome to be in school as my dd has ASD so I'm not allowed near her. It's a shame there's not some imagination or flexibility at some schools. Once they make you feel a bit unwelcome it's hard to get past it. But a bigger problem is that they was inflexible after lockdown and all the parents disengaged. You can't easily get past unintentional making people feel unwelcome

Highfidelityhi · 23/06/2023 21:04

SunnyFrost · 23/06/2023 18:22

This is my absolute least favourite thing about having children at school, the constant moans and nagging to volunteer my time for the PTA and events. I have an almost full time job and another small child. I have hobbies and a house to renovate. I do not have time or energy to spend on school related volunteering. I will happily donate money, but I am not in a position to donate my time. Funnily enough these committees would NEVER guilt trip parents who are cash poor to donate money they don’t have, so why they feel entitled to demand time from people who have literally none, is beyond me.

Frankly I couldn’t give a shit if the summer fayre didn’t happen - it would be far more efficient if we all just donated £20 and gave up on the whole debacle. Three months of unpleasant passive aggressive messages beforehand, about how the event CAN’T POSSIBLY GO AHEAD if we don’t get more volunteers, simply aren’t worth it.

The worst are the demands to make things to be sold at the fayre, which cost more to put together than they sell them for 🤯 Cut out the middle man and just donate the money to the school - saves time and wastage.

I know I’m being a Scrooge but honestly, it drives me nuts. You are not entitled to my time just because I send my child to get an education there.

Absolutely this! I’d happily donate lump sum at start of each year to avoid the asks. The “Come in fancy dress and donate £1” drives me mad too….even home made fancy dress can be £10+ on materials, so I’d rather donate that and avoid 11pm sewing and gluing.

HippeePrincess · 23/06/2023 21:08

BG2015 · 23/06/2023 18:08

I'm a teacher and we can't get parents into school for hardly anything. Phonics, reading or maths evenings.

We don't have a PTFA anymore because nobody will step up to do it.

Probably because 95% of these events are put on before the end of our working day, I want to attend those kinds of things but I can’t leave work before 5pm.

NoAprilFool · 23/06/2023 21:09

Do you let kids volunteer? Some of the stalls at ours were manned by P7s (Y6 in England I think?). There was an adult supervising but keeping an eye on 2/3 stalls next to each other so not as many required. I had my daughter(age 9) with me on the stall I helped at - and lots of other parents did too. The kids loved helping. It was all half hour slots too, so plenty of time to enjoy the fair.

Chickychoccyegg · 23/06/2023 21:11

It's the same in my dds school, we had a summer fair/ picnic this week, very very well attended,I'd say at least 90% of our families were in attendance, we had 5 volunteers, so had the bare minimum of stalls, teachers/head teacher had to step in, to sell£serve.
And everyone else lounged around in the sunshine, eating their cakes and drinking their pimms, which is obviously more enjoyable than standing in a hot hall selling cakes, encouraging people to buy raffle tickets or whatever.
I dont know what the answer is really, our school made £2000 at the event , so we can't afford to cancel.
Probably getting more of the older school kids on board for short stints, though they're worried about missing put on the fun with their friends

User63847484848 · 23/06/2023 21:13

In my experience it’s worked best where there’s a good system of ‘class reps’ in the school then the class is assigned a stall at the fair to be responsible for: it’s then the class reps job to get volunteers from their kids class. It’s a lot harder to say no when it’s someone you know or your child is friends with their child! Plus also then you’re more likely to be doing a stint on the stall with someone you like. Divide it into 1 hour slots or even half hour and hopefully that’s manageable for a few people.
Much easier to ignore/not engage if it’s a more distance PTA type person putting out a generalised call for help.

Nevermind31 · 23/06/2023 21:14

My DC school does not have a PTA, nor a summer fete, which I am grateful for as I hate those games where you always end up with rubbish and plastic tat you don’t need.

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:16

Most parents are fucking useless. They will take, but never give. There is always a hard core who keep the whole thing going, desperately trying to raise the money the kids need to do all the things that the other parents will just accept as their right.

they will all tell you that they can’t possibly do it but for the vast majority that is absolute bollocks. They will swan up to the event you sweated blood sweat and tears to put on, wander around for a bit and then fuck off again. At best they will chuck a bit of cash at you, but when it comes to doing the hard yards - they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 23/06/2023 21:19

HereComesMaleficent · 23/06/2023 21:00

I neither help/volunteer or show up to anything outside of school hours.

If it's in school hours and you want £1 towards party food or whatever I'll send son in with a quid.

Honestly though, schools ned to calm down with all the "events". Just open the doors at 8:40 , teach the kids, and release them for home at 3:20.

I require nothing else from you. Not even sure where all the money from these fundraising events go.

Absolutely this. Just teach my kids.

There is absolutely no need for all this nonsense. I don't have time for it and the snooty PTA chair.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 23/06/2023 21:21

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:16

Most parents are fucking useless. They will take, but never give. There is always a hard core who keep the whole thing going, desperately trying to raise the money the kids need to do all the things that the other parents will just accept as their right.

they will all tell you that they can’t possibly do it but for the vast majority that is absolute bollocks. They will swan up to the event you sweated blood sweat and tears to put on, wander around for a bit and then fuck off again. At best they will chuck a bit of cash at you, but when it comes to doing the hard yards - they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

Just ask me for a donation towards whatever it is your trying to fundraiser for and fuck off yourself. 😂 Easy peasy.

HereComesMaleficent · 23/06/2023 21:22

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:16

Most parents are fucking useless. They will take, but never give. There is always a hard core who keep the whole thing going, desperately trying to raise the money the kids need to do all the things that the other parents will just accept as their right.

they will all tell you that they can’t possibly do it but for the vast majority that is absolute bollocks. They will swan up to the event you sweated blood sweat and tears to put on, wander around for a bit and then fuck off again. At best they will chuck a bit of cash at you, but when it comes to doing the hard yards - they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

Just stop doing the events 🤦🏻‍♀️

Surely they aren't majorly profitable in the end. Why waste man hours putting it together, to walk away with a couple of hundred quid after costs are covered?

As far as I can tell, you need to pay for trips, pay for party food, pay for costumes, as the parent anyway.

So where is this fundraising money being used?

LlynTegid · 23/06/2023 21:25

One of the few losses of working from home is not being able to 'doorstep' someone who never replies or gets things done in a reasonable time.

Speaking in person is the way forward.

phoenixrosehere · 23/06/2023 21:25

FishfingerFlinger · 23/06/2023 19:51

Our school fair is on a weekend so it's not like people have to take time off work or anything. But then loads of parents manage to show up for sports day which WAS on a week day so it's not like people are so busy they can't make the time when it suits them to. I do think it's just that people don't want to take any responsibility for this stuff happening

People do work weekends!

Our youngest school fair was in the middle of the day on a Saturday and there was no way we were going to go walk around in the hottest part of the day when we didn’t have to. Sports Day started shortly after drop-off, and was finished in an hour so we were home before 10:30.

Our youngest is NT and his older brother is ND and we have to have an escape plan in case he gets upset. He gets both of us without distractions on Sports Day while his brother is at school. We have no family nearby to keep an eye on him for the school fair even if the weather was decent.

I’m not bothered if there is a school fair or not nor an I the parent that would complain.

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:25

@Mommasgotabrandnewbag it really doesn’t fucking work like that, unless you’re a parent at MIT or something?

At our school it is a hard, thankless slog to get the cash for children to have just a few of the experiences we wish the government would just be able to pay for.

SirCharlesRainier · 23/06/2023 21:26

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:16

Most parents are fucking useless. They will take, but never give. There is always a hard core who keep the whole thing going, desperately trying to raise the money the kids need to do all the things that the other parents will just accept as their right.

they will all tell you that they can’t possibly do it but for the vast majority that is absolute bollocks. They will swan up to the event you sweated blood sweat and tears to put on, wander around for a bit and then fuck off again. At best they will chuck a bit of cash at you, but when it comes to doing the hard yards - they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

I think this post perfectly illustrates that it's not about raising money or doing what the kids need. It's about demonstrating virtuousness.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 23/06/2023 21:28

newjobnewstartihope · 23/06/2023 18:06

Mind your own business?

This
You only work 12 hours a week so have plenty of leisure to do it if you want to.
I choose not to. Really don't care if the event doesn't happen as is only an ego trip for the PTA busybodies anyway.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 23/06/2023 21:29

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:25

@Mommasgotabrandnewbag it really doesn’t fucking work like that, unless you’re a parent at MIT or something?

At our school it is a hard, thankless slog to get the cash for children to have just a few of the experiences we wish the government would just be able to pay for.

What experiences? Where is the benefit of this bullshit?

For the person saying 'well then can turn up to sports day' sports day is important to my children. The school fair is not.

KatieB55 · 23/06/2023 21:30

One school sent half hour slots out to parents via book bag. It actually worked & most turned up!

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:30

SirCharlesRainier · 23/06/2023 21:26

I think this post perfectly illustrates that it's not about raising money or doing what the kids need. It's about demonstrating virtuousness.

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How exactly is it demonstrating virtuousness? No one knows. No one cares. The kids will go on some trips that they would never have been able to do without PTFA money, but no one mentions that or the people who made it happen.

Most people don’t give a shit because at worst they think they can chuck a couple of quid at it and it just happens. But it doesn’t just happen unless a group of parents care enough to make it happen.

HereComesMaleficent · 23/06/2023 21:32

Nesbi · 23/06/2023 21:25

@Mommasgotabrandnewbag it really doesn’t fucking work like that, unless you’re a parent at MIT or something?

At our school it is a hard, thankless slog to get the cash for children to have just a few of the experiences we wish the government would just be able to pay for.

I send my child to school for an education not an experience.

Call me old fashioned.

Where has this strange idea that schools need to be experience after experience, fun and exciting.

My god, just sit them in rooms and teach them the curriculum, by all means decorate the rooms if you wish, but not much more is needed.