To wonder how to get school parents to volunteer to do anything?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I’m a somewhat reluctant volunteer for the school PTA - only reluctant because I have a full-on job (12hr+ days most of this week) another volunteer role and am frankly frazzled.

Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen. But they think the magic fairies make it happen?

Some schools seem to have an abundance of volunteers making elaborate fairs happen. All I’m asking is for someone to man the bat the rat stall for half an hour and I can’t even get that.

What am i doing wrong here?

@DinoDaddy shame you feel that way. I was a PTA volunteer and I wasn’t bitchy to anyone. I was welcoming and friendly.
Personally what you have just said sounds more “bitchy” to me.

Getting snotty at people who say they can’t because in your view they technically can, is ultimate CF. No one is going to say ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘it’s not my priority’ are they! You are notentitled to anyone’s free time or sanity. It may be your chosen cause, your priority but you have no right to steamroller other people into doing what you’ve decided they should do with any snippets of spare time they may have.

This with bells on - @SunnyFrost is spot on. (If anyone has seen the “Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret” film, there is the most wonderful depiction of a mother actually standing up to the PTA Queen Bee and it made me guffaw (much to the embarrassment of my children!)). People are too polite/too British to say “I don’t think this is a good idea and I don’t want to come”. Their goto excuse for anything PTA related is “no time”. For, say, an unwanted group holiday, it’s probably “no money”. They just don’t want to. And they don’t have to just because another group does, or thinks it’s a good idea.

Yes this is exactly it - I know for a fact the number of people who have said they’re attending the fair outnumber the people who have volunteered half an hour whilst they are there by about 5:1.

It’s not asking for additional time, it’s just asking them to use some of the time they are there.

I know some of the people who haven’t volunteered will just be hoping to swing briefly as part of a busy day and don’t feel they can commit to a slot. Some have children with SEN they need to supervise. Some have babies and toddlers. But realistically most of them don’t and will be there all afternoon without helping.

We used to sort it out by the head teacher going in to each class a few weeks before the Fayre and asking the children which stall they wanted to do (all split in to 1 or 1.5hr shifts) HT then had a list and did a letter home to each parent, saying their child had volunteered, obviously they needed a parent to be with them (infants) and could they let the HT know if that was a problem. Very few turned her down - she was a bit of a force of nature! Job done 😊

@Needmorelego A Xmas Fair (for example )is also about the experience. Meeting Father Christmas, singing some carols as part of the school choir, trying a mince pie, making a Christmas decoration etc.
It raises money - but is a life experience at the same time.

What absolute twaddle! It's not the school's responsibility to give children an "experience". If a family wants to go to a Christmas market, then go to a Christmas market. I think one of the reasons our school fair was so successful this year was: It was the first one in 25 years.
Therefore everyone was interested and excited about going. People were willing to help out. Local companies were willing to put up large prizes. There is no constant demand to take part in activities.

We've never had a Christmas fair at school. My DC have still met Father Christmas, sang carols and eaten mince pies- with us. The school puts on two annual events. The Christmas carol service (held on the playground, compulsory and outside of school hours) where they provide an hot drink and a piece of cake for the children and the leavers assembly when the head officially says goodbye to the Yr6 (parents are invited, starts 1 hour before end of term).

Apart from that, the school is there as a school. There will be random request for a parent to help out on a school trip, but there are no dress up days or whatever. It's school.

I don't know if this might help, but at mg DC's school, every event is run by specific year group parents. Basically it doesn't feel like you're constantly being asked to help at XYZ event, as each year group has their own specific event they manage. Would something like this work?
I think people can get "volunteer fatigue" 😅 where they feel like they're constantly being badgered, whereas I know I'll only get badgered a couple of times a year for my DC's year group events.

Also incentives work. I thought the "free pimms" or "free tea" is a good option. Even things like being thanked by name on the social media pages with a picture of the volunteer(s) motivates at our school!

I was active on the primary school PTA for years and heavily involved in organising events. We structured it that each committee member would take the lead on a particular event so that everyone had their own project and responsibilities. Getting volunteers was REALLY HARD. My "project" a couple of times was the christmas shopping night - weekday evening, school hall, adults only so we could sell alcohol (not allowed booze at any school event with kids in attendance in my part of Scotland). I had a long list of one-off jobs which needed to be done, things like contacting the local paper to advertise the event, put a post on the local FB group, design the leaflet, go to Asda to buy tea/coffee/biscuits, draw up "seating plan" for traders ensuring you don't have two jewellery stalls next to each other etc. Getting people to step up was impossible and others who organisaed other events through the years found the same.

The headteacher of the school was brilliant though at telling the parents what these events were paying for - every school newsletter would say something like "P4 and P5 children enjoyed a mobile planetarium experience funded solely by PTA donations" or "money raised by the recent disco enabled us to buy three new picnic benches for the playground".

Since the pandemic the PTA has withered away - 3 years of no events allowed and people move on. There are lots of parents now moaning about how their older children had summer fairs, discos, christmas events and it's not happening. But won't step up to be one of the people who made it happen.

None of the PTA committee were stay at home parents. We had a mixture of mums and dads, ALL of us worked. Some part-time, but we all worked.

Oh also you don't even have to have volunteers to "thank them". You can put something on like "thank you so much to all the people who have volunteered already... etc. we just need a couple more volunteers to man this stall and that stall." and people feel like they're really missing out by not helping!

And set a deadline for when people have to put their name by.

My "project" a couple of times was the christmas shopping night - weekday evening, school hall, adults only so we could sell alcohol (not allowed booze at any school event with kids in attendance in my part of Scotland).

I'm sorry, but this is absolutely insane. Why would I go, in the run up to Christmas, to a school event that my DC weren't allowed to attend? If I needed to go Christmas shopping, I'd go to the market in town. No wonder you have difficulty getting volunteers!

At our school, these events are held during the school day and staff the stalls etc. that way we still get the benefit of the money raised without having to rely on parents to help. As a parent myself I would never volunteer for the PTA. Don't have the time and what free time I do have is too precious

The only negative experience I have had was recently. School fair coming up, we can't go as away with work, kids will be with my parents. I have helped in the past and worked there. Got repeated messages from the office which appeared generic but apparently were just to me as I hadn't signed up to help. I felt guilty so emailed in and explained we were away, they replied and said "ok, but what about your parents?"

Well, would they be the parents (in their 7ies) including a disabled grandmother who got told off for parking in the disabled bay in the car park as they like the car park to stay staff only? (Apart from some parents whom the school either love, or are scared of so don't approach) Despite both her and me explaining that she is an amputee who was very unstable on her feet and parked there so the preschool staff could bring my child out to her?

The same grandmother who handmade bloody miles of bunting for the last summer fair to receive not even a thank you or acknowledgement?

Nah, they're alright thanks.

• staff man the stalls

@RequiresUpdating some people can’t get to Christmas Markets (no public transport to get there for example)but they can get to their local school because it’s a ten minute walk down the road.
The fairs at my local primary are actually open to everyone. They are a community event - not specifically a school event but it raises money towards the school.
You are right - it isn’t the schools responsibility to do these events but that’s exactly why PTAs exist. So community events can happen. To give people a bit of fun, something to do and look forward to.

Then involve the wider community? If the Christmas fairs mean so much to everyone, including people without a child in the school they will help.

I think people keep insisting these events are needed. That the kids and communities enjoy them so much. If they did, they would get involved to keep it going.

@ProfessorXtra actually even though my daughter has left the primary school I (and my husband) have helped out at events.
The PTA is called “Friends of (school name)” like many PTAs are. It is a registered charity (like many PTAs are). It is open to anyone in the community to help (with relevant checks like DBS if needed).

I am very very grateful for the existence of PTAs and what they do. 1 hour twice a year to support the summer and Christmas fair is surely manageable unless you are a sole carer. I will forgive any PTA member for incessant nagging - they wouldn’t have to nag if enough people stepped up.

I struggle much more with school demands to accompany children on outside visits - I have taken a days leave in July just to alleviate my guilt at having not done any of this so far this year but I really can’t do any more than that. Most people must be in the same boat as me.

We used to make a decent sum of money on the Christmas Shopping evening, around £1k. It was a different "vibe" to an event where children were allowed, more relaxed, more sociable. It was the only event we did during the whole year which was adult only.

We had tried in previous years to have a family Christmas shopping event but it just led to kids running riot in the school hall, pissing off the stallholders.

Despite my love for PTAs I also thought the scene in “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret” when Margaret’s mum just said “I don’t want to” was absolutely brilliant and made me laugh.

I think this post gets to the crux of the issue here, which is around how people feel about volunteering. And I think that is massively tied up in people's upbringings and what was normal for them growing up. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, but this post really struck home for me.

For me, volunteering isn't the same as a hobby, so 'if you don't enjoy it why do you do it' isn't really applicable as it would be if it were a hobby? Does that make sense? It's more a sense of service or responsibility, though I know that will sound wanky to many.

Growing up my parents were involved in lots of voluntary stuff, and we went along to help with a lot of it, and tbh a lot of it wasn't enjoyable but it was necessary, and it made a difference in the community. And tbh there are very few volunteering jobs that are always enjoyable. But for me, I generally find them rewarding. I won't do them if I can't see a positive purpose in what they're doing, and so the reward for me isn't the enjoyment I get from the activity but the knowledge that my time and effort has helped to advance that purpose.

I have a pretty nice life. It's not perfect, it's got a fair few stresses but I've got a lot I should be grateful for, and I feel a sense of responsibility to spend some of my free time, limited as it may be, doing this sort of stuff. I'm very aware that not everyone feels that way but it's how I'm wired. Does that make sense? I don't think it's 'virtue signalling' or any of the other nasty things people like to say about people who do voluntary stuff for groups they don't particularly support, it's just that sense of a need to contribute.

Sorry but I disagree.

i don’t think anyone said people shouldn’t volunteer. Or anything nasty about volunteering in general. Maybe I missed it. The comments that are negative are about the people trying to force others to. That’s not volunteering. When school constantly put other obligations on to parents, it’s not surprising people get fed up and don’t want to do it. Especially if they ab e no idea how it’s benefitting anyone. Some schools seem to be good at communicating what they are doing with the funds. Plenty do not.

But volunteering at school doesn’t feel rewarding for everyone. Especially, since they have no idea what they are actually achieve if. Some people may find volunteering for something else rewarding. The fact that someone doesn’t want to volunteer for everything or for a school event, means nothing regarding their view on volunteering in general.

You do enjoy it. You find it rewarding so get a positive feeling out of it. That’s great. Just don’t expect everyone else to feel the same.

No interest or want to volunteer after we work a full week and deal with our own commitments.
The last thing I could do is go off to a PTA meeting, nor volunteer.
I'd rather go to the pub..jk

When I was at PS in the 1980s my parents did a lot for the PTA but my mum wasn't working at that time, she was home for us.

When my child was at PS in the mid-2010s the person in charge was very intimidating to me (I'm very shy) so I'd avoid her if I could. I also worked shifts so other family members would look after/pick up my child if I wasn't there. At weekends when the fairs were on I'd be on shift and DH would be too. We only get a weekend off once every 5-6 weeks. So her Gps would take care of her. Therefore we didn't really get involved with the PTA.

Ours is only a very small village school and our year 6’s are tasked to do stalls and the PTA walk round checking. It really works well as the DC aware given a float and they have to manage the money etc. they love doing it and it helps the DC too. Most in the summer fayre are 10 or 11 and quite able to stand on a stall. They are rotating every hour and get ice lollies.
works a treat and when the grand total for what is raised is announced they all receive a medal and sweets.

The fact that someone doesn’t want to volunteer for everything or for a school event, means nothing regarding their view on volunteering in general.

Hmm. I mean, I suppose this is true, some people might be volunteering for all sorts of other stuff. But by and large, in my anecdata experience, there are people who volunteer for many/all the things, and people who volunteer for nothing at all. My experience is much more aligned with what JassyRadlett says, which is that it’s to do with what’s normalised to you in your upbringing.

That’s fine, i get the point about weekends. But in my area and my friend’s area 200 miles away, the school events are on weekdays, not weekends.