To wonder how to get school parents to volunteer to do anything?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I’m a somewhat reluctant volunteer for the school PTA - only reluctant because I have a full-on job (12hr+ days most of this week) another volunteer role and am frankly frazzled.

Trying to get volunteers to help do small tasks for the school fair and no one will do ANYTHING. Everyone wants the school fair to happen. Everyone moans if it doesn’t happen. But they think the magic fairies make it happen?

Some schools seem to have an abundance of volunteers making elaborate fairs happen. All I’m asking is for someone to man the bat the rat stall for half an hour and I can’t even get that.

What am i doing wrong here?

It makes sense but people would go absolutely wild if this was proposed here. Lots have a sense of entitlement and believe things should be done for them (hence can't be bothered to volunteer at a fate they'll be going to anyway) or that they shouldn't have to pay for something their taxes pay for anyway (even if their tax contribution is zero).

OP we have the same, all of us on the PTA work full time and some have military husbands who are often away and we manage. People will come up with all sorts of nonsense as to why they want possible give 30 mins a year to man a stall; which is fine as long as they don't moan that the school doesn't ever do events or that there's less money to do nice things for the children.

ContinuousProcrastination
They don't want to, but instead of politely declining they'll claim they're always busy or come up with endless excuses.

I understand people not wanting to volunteer if it isn't their scene, they're happy to make a donation if possible and they don't proceed to moan about the impact of decreased PTA fundraisers / that the events don't run / that the events aren't as good as the rival school's.

What works for our school fete is having sign up sheets with time slots next to the collection doors.

The head teacher emails parents to let them know they are there and to please sign up.

Each year group (2 classes) have responsibility for their own stall. Parents can then share a slot with a friend and gaps get filled in by willing people doing more than 1 slot. We are very lucky that most of the teachers are around for their class's stall too.

I've tried! Not with school, but with one of the kids' hobbies (because that's the other thing - take all these requests for help and multiply them by any hobbies your kids do, it's almost daily at this time of year) and they told me that they preferred to do fundraising because it was important for the club's profile, to help them attract more members. I'm sure the school would answer that it's important for the kids to have the experience of organising their own fundraising projects for later life etc etc, there's always a reason why it can't be done any other way than this.

Any Go on, give it a go with the PTA at the start of next term.
In fact make a start now, ask how the PTA takes donations so in September you can get right on it.

Lol. Quite enough for the school to say they need ‘books’ so we donate towards that.

And quite frankly, yes to the second question. I would like to know what my money is going towards. I am careful with my own money so I don’t want to give it to anyone else to then piss up the wall.

I have to admit it’s a while since I was at school, so I’m not sure why people on here are saying fundraising goes towards school trips. When I was at school, if there was a school trip, the parents paid the fee for their child.

I'd tell the parents that it's needed for their kids and for people to step up

Tell them exactly why!

I would do a direct email. I need xyz by this date in order for fair to go ahead. If no one comes forward explain to school there aren't enough volunteers and it can't happen.

Bribery. Front row tickets at school Christmas production for the first 5 volunteers. Ask if a family want to run a stall ie mum, dad, nan, pops and child with free icecream token.

Excellent idea. Give them estimate times too so they can volunteer then back out

Yes and plenty of those parents will have taken time off because if other parents are going they don’t want their kids to feel sad that their own parents haven’t shown.

I once volunteered a couple of times when dd was I. Primary. Once was to paint a wall with our kids. That was fine. Another was the general volunteer group. They, including the head teacher, were very clique like. It was horrendous. Several parents joined and leftOne because her husband was. A landscape gardener and they kept pushing her to get him to do a huge project for free. He offered to help in his spare time if the school bought materials, but they didn’t want to spend the money on materials and felt him working there and not earning money was ‘the least he could do’. Their expectations were wildly off.

Fairs etc were were a complete pain in the arse tbh. I get the parents at your school like the idea, but in practice. Most people don’t.

Summer is also a bit of a nightmare. Time off for sports days, end of year assemblies etc.

I get yours was a weekend. But still, weekends are busy with kids hobbies, catching up on the families social life, getting caught up with housework, homework etc I don’t want to spend my time at the fair. Spending money on a Tombola to win a bottle of ketchup. The kids never wanted to go to school on a weekend after been there all week.

I think people get obligation fatigue with schools. Between school trips, non uniform, book days, parents assemblies, school shows, daily homework, make a Christmas jumper, make a video of a weekend in your family and the rest, I think a lot of people simply don’t want to be in a position where they are taking on more obligation. Especially if they work.

My youngest has is in high school and it’s a huge sigh of relief that there’s no longer the long list of o ligations for me to meet.

if people moan they want a fair to you simply reply there’s not enough people volunteering and they are welcome to give it a go.

@NowYouSee this is a great idea

You'll know where the money goes if you volunteer! Often trips are subsidied ie coach paid for and then parents pay for tickets or whatever else.

My best friend volunteered at one yesterday (she doesn’t work fridays). She said she spent a lot of time being asked to check all the expiry dates on perishable tombola prizes. How would she know from this, what the money is going towards?

With respect, I think you've taken on too much. Your frustration with this situation will only grow over time.

I understand it's frustrating for you that others won't help, but there will be reasons for that and there's not much you can do about it. What is important to you and the school is probably not important to them.

Speaking as someone who volunteered with a few organisations for over 20 years, as well as being a trustee, I found that in the end volunteers are taken more and more advantage of and it's the same folk that end up "doing everything".

I have strong boundaries and decided several years ago I wasn't going to be that person that organised everything and it was so freeing! Things don't happen? Not my problem, not my responsibility! Why should it all be down to me? This path only leads to resentment.

I don't volunteer for anything now but will happily contribute financially to school stuff.

PTAs should publish accounts.
We always announced how much money we had raised by events, and whenever we spent money on anything sizeable for the school. The end of year accounts always listed all purchases.

Yes. This has included gifting Amazon vouchers for books as end of year thank you to school, privately paying for a training course to be delivered to a few key staff where it directly benefits my son but also transferable to other kids in the school, donating 2nd hand good condition books, instruments and resources purchased during covid to use at home than could benefit school. Also I’ve forwarded free training that I’ve been aware of through work that’s directly relevant to school.

I see it as doing what I can. For years I could volunteer weekly for a charity and did. Now I’m time poor(underestimate due to caring responsibilities) but can do other things so I do.

Maybe they think it's too much of a commitment.

At my dc school, I volunteered to help at the school fete a few years back. Stood at a stall for an hour whilst my dc enjoyed the fete with their dad. I was assured after that hour I could leave. All fine until I was also expected to stay after and clean up. I ended up being there hours extra.

Was bombarded with messages about loads of other events and activities. Explained I only helped as a one off and cannot commit to regular activities. This made the volunteers angry and they became really bitchy towards me. Would whisper about me and if they saw me in the week not at work ( god forbid I had a day off or finished early! ) they would side eye me and give me dirty looks.

I regret ever helping.

I'm sure you don't give off that vibe op, but could be many reasons why people are put off helping.

PTAs arrange various events through the year. I'm sure most parents COULD help at least once, if they really want to. Lots of people work, have younger children, other commitments etc and it's not a barrier to helping

But, parents aren't obliged to help and its important to acknowledge that

Perhaps focus on the smaller events that are easier to run, and build up momentum that way

I think k our PTA allocated certain events to different year groups eg Year 6 parents arrange Halloween party. And they had very good instruction manuals with all the info about last year's suppliers, quantities of food and drink etc

I am not convinced either about the parents genuinely complaining.
I don't get involved with the PTA because 1) i genuinely couldn't care less if the fair or similar events happen or not. 2) they are cliquey and unpleasant 3) I often can't. I have 4 children including one with special needs and my husband isn't always with me. 4) I simply don't want to. I work full time, i already volunteer in a couple of places and that's already stretching me. This is one I am seriously not interested in.

In terms of 'if the PTA doesn't fundraise your kids will miss out'; well we get very frequent requests for money for trips which in the main are fairly lame. So not sure what the fundraising does. I know some of it went towards paying for the yr6 residential transport cost. But my y6 child isn't going to it anyway as the cost of it is ridiculous for what it is so I decided not to send her.

@MariaVT65 a properly run PTA should have records of how much is raised and what the money goes towards.
If this isn’t happening then that’s wrong.
Did your friend even ask?

I think with something like a school then you have to accept the events are optional extras and if people don’t want to participate it’s fair enough.

I do get irritated by cubs/beavers. Groups my kids go to clearly state when you sign them up that they don’t have sufficient adults to operate without parent volunteers every week so they always have enough adults for the ratios. No need to plan anything just to turn up and assist a group of 5-6 kids with whatever the activity is. They also tell you the activities in advance so you know what you are doing. That’s 6 hours a year they are asking. Some parents never volunteer and some go every other week to ensure the activities can happen. One of the other parents was saying to me they can’t go as they have a younger child and other parent works yet in the past 6 months since both our kids started cubs there have been 5 occasions when she’s asked other parents for help with taking child to/from the sessions as she’s out and has a babysitter for younger child. I know of other examples. There are very few people who couldn’t help for 6 hours a year but they just don’t want to and they assume someone else will pick up the slack and most of the time they are right. In the end I don’t want my kids to miss out on the various activities so I volunteer. I have 0 qualms when people start with I’m so busy at work saying yes me too (over 50 hours most weeks). I have a younger child (me too - 6 year old can’t be left alone), my OH is working some evenings (me too. Often till after kids activities start as he does the drop offs). Just be honest and say I’m not doing it because my time to do what I want is more important to me than yours 🤷🏼‍♀️

Same issue with the community group I run.
I've been very successful in sourcing external funding/grants for community infrastructure, but very little in the way of hands being put in pockets by local residents. It is always the same small group of people (21!) who donate £20 each, perhaps a couple of £100 donations.
But never from those living in the more expensive houses.

A good source of volunteers for us in Rainbows/Brownies/Guides are young leaders age 14-17.
I wonder if there’s any scope for contacting secondary schools your primary feeds into and seeing if any ex pupils want to help. Nice for them to go back to old school and manning a stall at fayre or disco is good for a first cv if they are look for pt job at 16.