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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they were talking about me?

80 replies

Brontathedog · 23/06/2023 10:53

DH pops round to see his mum on the same day every week. Sometimes I go, sometimes not. Recently, he left to visit her without even saying anything. I was upstairs getting ready to go with him when I heard the door close. No goodbye, nothing! I followed on when I was ready, maybe about 10 minutes later.
When I walked in (she leaves the door unlocked) DH, his sister, his mum, and his mum's friend were sitting there and when they saw me they all looked so shocked, it went completely silent and the vibe in the air was really awkward. I've never experienced that before from them. The friend looked especially awkward. I spent the rest of the day really unnerved by it. AIBU to wonder about this? What would you think?

OP posts:
CandleRigg89 · 25/06/2023 20:22

Zebedee55 · 25/06/2023 18:16

Yeah, some families want to discuss things without the "outlaws" involved. Nothing personal, just a family thing.

That’s great, OP now doesn’t have to worry about inviting the ‘out-laws’ to kids birthday parties/facilitating their relationships with the children OP grew etc. Not her blood, not her problem! What a lovely attitude to have. Sure that’ll be a sustainable and happy way forward for everyone.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/06/2023 21:05

A family thing ?but then a friend was there ....

drpet49 · 25/06/2023 21:06

Maddy70 · 23/06/2023 10:58

They are allowed to talk about "family" things without your presence. I talk to my children about things that I wouldn't necessarily want their partners to know about

This

Holly60 · 25/06/2023 22:40

Maybe they were talking about you but just to ask where you were? Maybe they were asking are you ok, did you not fancy coming over etc. then in you walk and it is a bit awkward because they were just asking about you but not necessarily in a bad way.

I know if my son walked in without my DDIL, especially if I was expecting her, I'd be asking him how she is etc and checking she was ok.

Holly60 · 25/06/2023 22:48

Zebedee55 · 25/06/2023 18:12

Perhaps they were just talking about "family stuff" that they didn't want you involved in..

It's so funny because if I ever discuss anything private with just my adult DC, I'll always add in something along the lines of 'well discuss it with DDIL/DSIL and see what they think'. I automatically assume they will talk things through with their spouses, as I do with DH.

Incidentally we all have rock solid marriages, I've remained very close to my adult children and I get on incredibly well with my DSIL and DDIL.

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