Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should take his own child to school?

489 replies

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:40

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 23/06/2023 15:26

I would let the school handle it; wouldn't want to get into it with some random parent I didn't know. Call the school ASAP and tell them your concerns.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/06/2023 15:29

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 23/06/2023 15:26

I would let the school handle it; wouldn't want to get into it with some random parent I didn't know. Call the school ASAP and tell them your concerns.

The OP phoned the school hours ago…

TalkingSchist · 23/06/2023 15:35

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 15:00

I'm not avoiding questions, I am working hence unable to reply quickly. On the first day he knocked and we were actually ready to leave and so as we walked out I asked him if his dad was waiting for us round the corner, to which he shrugged and said said he thought his dad had gone on ahead so i said we'd catch up (his dad was nowhere to be seen), the next day he knocked and my child was having a meltdown down about being unable to find school shoes which was descending into chaos so I opened the door to him and told him that we were running late and did he want to go back to his dad, he was still there when we left but by this point I was dealing with the aftermath of a meltdown so other than normal how are you, has your dad gone on ahead? We didn't have much of a conversation. On Wednesday again, we were running very late this time he said my dad told me to come here and so I told him he'd have to come in and wait then because we were all rushing around, yesterday admittedly my child went yo breakfast club and so I'm not sure if he knocked (I'm now assuming he must have done hut we weren't there) and obviously I explained what happened this morning. It does seem like he is being told to come to mine by his parents, and seems confused when I've asked him what he does if I'm not here, and just shrugs.

It is only a short walk and my child tends to take over the conversation for the entire walk as well so it's not that I don't talk to the child at all but they do run ahead a bit and chatter together while I'm walking slowly with my youngest.

If it’s only a short walk then surely the kid is okay to walk it by themselves? What do you mean by “short”?

Offwegotosleep · 23/06/2023 15:37

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:49

The child is 7, the same as mine, I know I'm probably a lot more protective due to mine being so impulsive and distracted so a complete danger if left alone but still too young in my opinion.

You aren’t being overprotective. This is really neglectful. You could be anyone! This isn’t cheeky it’s unsafe. Please tell someone!

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 15:38

"Clearly this needs to be reported."
@Bellaboo01 The OP did. Six hours ago.

"Could this child walk to school on their own" @ButterCrackers The OP clarified this when she reported it to the school. Six hours ago. The child can, and does, go to school alone.

"I would not take a random child in my car." @Bagofmaltesers The OP doesn't. She clarified this hours ago. They walk.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 15:38

Offwegotosleep · 23/06/2023 15:37

You aren’t being overprotective. This is really neglectful. You could be anyone! This isn’t cheeky it’s unsafe. Please tell someone!

Show quote history

The OP did.
Fucking hours ago.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Phoenixfire1988 · 23/06/2023 15:46

I'd be informing the school and also asking the child to show us where they live and having a word with the parents it may be a case one parent leaves earlier and has no idea the other is doing this and has been told they've arranged it with you .
I'd of done the above the first time tbh and not allowed it to continue for an entire week

ScribblingPixie · 23/06/2023 15:54

The kids are friends and it's a short walk to the school. When you're out the kid walks on his own and the school says that's ok. You just need to catch one of the parents & clarify things.

GC1 · 23/06/2023 15:55

If you don't know the child's family then you should contact the school and let them know.. if the child's left at your door when your away anything could happen. Get the school to have a word with the parents. (They won't be allowed to give you their details) i wouldn't be held responsible for anyone else's children. If it were me I'd be waiting on the parents one morning and have it out with them as it's disrespectful and neglectful as their responsibility. Your essentially a stranger.

Wanderlust75 · 23/06/2023 15:58

Tell the child to not turn up to your house anymore and send him with a note for his parents. If he turns up again tell the school; if nothing happens tell the police

EasterBreak · 23/06/2023 15:58

I'd call the police and say there's a lost child on my doorstep and the dads just walked off.

Baba197 · 23/06/2023 16:08

Omg! Words fail me! How irresponsible and rude if the parents to think this is acceptable. You need to inform the school as there could be other safeguarding issues. This child is not your responsibility and you shouldn’t feel guilty

2bazookas · 23/06/2023 16:11

When you get to school, take him in to the office and tell them he turns up at your house; there is clearly a welfare /safety issue and as you don't know who the parents are, where they live, have no contact details for the parents will the school please deal with it. Or refer to social services.

Sauvblanctime · 23/06/2023 16:11

Dads a CF. And neglectful!

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 16:14

2bazookas · 23/06/2023 16:11

When you get to school, take him in to the office and tell them he turns up at your house; there is clearly a welfare /safety issue and as you don't know who the parents are, where they live, have no contact details for the parents will the school please deal with it. Or refer to social services.

She did.
The school have told her it's OK.

AuntMarch · 23/06/2023 16:14

I've only just seen this thread,
Is it compulsory to tell OP to report the situation even though it's very obvious she already has done?

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 16:17

AuntMarch · 23/06/2023 16:14

I've only just seen this thread,
Is it compulsory to tell OP to report the situation even though it's very obvious she already has done?

Careful, you'll get deleted like I did for saying that the thread will reach 1000 with people saying that. I did then offer beer and chips though so perhaps that was it.

thaegumathteth · 23/06/2023 16:23

EasterBreak · 23/06/2023 15:58

I'd call the police and say there's a lost child on my doorstep and the dads just walked off.

Would you though? Really?

FurryFrigginFrump · 23/06/2023 16:23

Yep report to the safeguarding lead at the school

anonymousxoxo · 23/06/2023 16:25

User57632678372 · 23/06/2023 10:07

Who is OP supposed to say no to? The 7 year old? Her post states that she has no contact with the parents, is unsure where they live, and they are not sticking around long enough for OP to speak with them.

Show quote history

She can just call the police and say she found this child unsupervised, which is the case and they will deal with it. She spend need to be a martyr.

Inmydreams88 · 23/06/2023 16:32

I think the first day I would have took him to school like you did but reported to the school secretory and asked her to give mum or dad a call to say he had gotten to school safely. Were you not worried mum or dad could have been looking for him?

Ananny1234 · 23/06/2023 16:45

Please report to the school and make sure they report to their safe guarding lead. Or go straight to safeguarding lead yourself.

this is not ok!

azlazee1 · 23/06/2023 16:46

Ask the school for information on where the child lives. If they won't tell you take the child to the police station and let them sort it out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread