Funny moments at funerals

[GwinCoch]

This isn’t really an AIBU, but thought it fit here the best. The other thread about dress at funerals made me think about how differently we all remember those we have lost. It also made me think about a very silly thing that happened at my Nana’s funeral where we all lost it to laughter.

I know there are cultures and people who believe in absolute solemnity. So this thread might not be for you, although of course you’re welcome here. But I have always found that laughter and silliness has made grief so much easier to deal with. So, this is a thread for funny moments at funerals. And for anyone who thinks that this is disrespectful or wrong, you are entitled to your feelings. But this is a thread for those of us who lost our mind to the giggles which were the other side of grief.

I gave another example on the other thread, but it was the same funeral - my paternal Nana. And because she never went to church but decided to be buried there (I have six relatives buried there) the vicar didn’t really know what to say about her, he didn’t know her. (That’s another issue for people to quibble about outside of this thread!) So my dad was working in Uganda, flew home and took care of all of the arrangements.

The service began: “And what can we say about this woman? Mother of five? Her middle son works in Uganda…” and the rest of the eulogy was about my dad’s job! Really?! We did the rest of the service and then went to the pub for the post-funeral and everyone was queuing up to talk to my dad - it was the funniest thing. We’re Welsh valleys we don’t mince our words but it no one was horrid it was just every minute “Raise a glass to Nana - but more importantly to her son who works in Uganda!” Everyone was howling and my dad kept saying: “She was a very private person!” We all call him SURNAME of Uganda now, like a Livingstone joke. He laughs about it too and has stopped defending it now!

I love that.

Who the fuck is Alice would have done for me too.

@LaMaG that is absolutely hilarious

Wonderful thread!
I hope that when my time comes, there'll be cause for laughter. I'm having a meadow burial in the middle of the field (no footpaths) so I'm hoping there'll be rain beforehand and everyone will be slithering and sliding in the mud.

1. Age 18 months, my nephew - the only GC my dad knew - escaped from his mother and discovered light switches, and ran round the crematorium clapping and laughing to himself with glee, and flicking on all the lights he could reach.

1. A friend of mine always said she'd raise a laugh from beyond the grave. She did, she was cremated to "There she goes" by The Las.

1. I have a cousin a few years older, who o spent a lot of time with in my teens and twenties. Every Christmas, his dad would get drunk and tell the same joke - punchline "you don't get many of them around here". After his dad died, my cousin always told the joke at Christmas / it's not a Christmas joke, just a family tradition. I can't have seen him for 10 years or more, until we ended up standing next to each other by the grave at a family funeral. As we were walking back through the graveyard to the chapel he leaned over and said "you don't get many of them around here" . It lightened a sad moment. There is room for subtle humour at funerals. Comic relief and all that.

I had an uncle die. First off, his coffin was transported on the back of a ute, from where he died, to where he was buried. It rained, got wet, and so it got opened to dry it out. Then the family decided to take Uncle on a tiki tour around the cemetery to say hi to all the other family members buried there. Coffin still open. Coffin closed up for lowering into the ground, and one of the songs was 'the Happy Wanderer'. My very, very proper mother, collapsed into helpless giggles. Uncle was a well known philanderer. . .

oh my, laughed out loud when I read this.
Sorry for your loss.

FIL’s funeral in a tiny old country church. His sons and sons-in-law carried his coffin and they were all over 6ft tall. The entrance doorway was very low so on command they all had to bend their knees at the same time to get the coffin through. I got a fit of the giggles because they looked like Groucho Marx. I think with all the snorting and snuffling people thought I was sobbing with grief.

@TeenLifeMum that Timone and pumba story is so funny, literally laughing out loud here. I think there are lyrics like our friend is doomed, this is a disaster etc.

A friend was killed by a drunk driver many years ago. Of course any funeral is a very sad occasion, but I think when it’s someone so young in such senseless circumstances, it’s so much worse.

Anyway, they played her favourite song, which was “It Must Have Been Love” by Roxette. We’re all sobbing when I get a terrible vision of what would have happened if they’d got the wrong track and played “The Look” by mistake? I suddenly pictured us all singing “She’s got the look (sheee’s got the looooook!)” along with it in the church and almost made myself sick trying not to laugh. I told my friends in the car on the way to the wake and we had barely composed ourselves by the time we got there.

It was only later when I thought of the car, far worse possibility of them playing “Joyride” 😳😳

When I was little my family trained me to say "cheeseburger" when I farted.

Age four great grandad's funeral, a loud squeaky kid toot, and I shouted it.

I have no memory of this but they say it lightened the mood!

My aunt's funeral took place earlier this year. She and her friends were all pretty elderly and we have a small family, so there weren't many people there.

We'd arranged an organist to play the hymns, but for some reason known only to themselves the church played recordings of the hymns instead. The recording was of one set of words while the bids, my sister and I were all heroically attempting to sing the different words from the leaflet. I'm not sure my aunt would have been amused, but I'm sure her brother (my father, also dead) was laughing along with me :)

I worked on an American summer camp, the dance on camp was 'Reach for the Stars' which we all had programed in us at a genetic level! Sadly the head Councillor died, he was a drama professor in an English uni out of camp time, his funeral was in a beautiful English church, the congregation was half camp staff and half uni staff and his family. They played 'Reach for the Stars', all the camp staff had the same thought at the same time..... is it really inappropriate to dance at a funeral? We all settled for shoulder dancing (think the Full Monty), looking out over the congregation you could spot the camp staff a mile off, they were all wriggling, he would have loved it!

These have all made me laugh - I think you need a good laugh sometimes to remind us that life does go on, and the person who’s sadly passed would also be laughing with them too.
My aunt, for example. She loved a good laugh, and was one of the funniest people I ever knew. For some reason they didn’t carry her coffin down the aisle, but wheeled it on a trolley. I always find trolleys ridiculous, and could feel hysteria rising inside me and managed to contain it, but the moment my mum and I heard the wheels squeaking, we were gone. She’d have bloody loved it.

@LaMaG honestly, it was the funniest funeral ever. She would have loved it. Dh’s parents still don’t see the funny side.

My mother chose the hymns for my grandmother’s funeral. Gran’s favourite hymn is obscure and not the easiest thing to sing, but it was her favourite so it was chosen. Most people are the bumbling their way through, trying to pick up the tune from the half dozen people who know it. It did not sound great TBH.

As we finish, My cousin, who is not known for his tact or whispering skills, says in a very loud whisper “what’s wrong with Amazing bloody Grace?!”

and he was right. My gran would have been happy with any song, goodness only knows why my mother insisted on that one!

I am so glad I started this thread, thanks so much for sharing, it’s actually very life affirming if that isn’t a massive contradiction. I have another that I only remembered today. When I was at uni the mother of one of my friends died, which was a bit of a different experience because it wasn’t a relation.

My friend was one of three brothers and meeting them was fine, but then he introduced me to his dad. He was a very impressive person (Nigerian royalty I was told) and in my nervousness I called his son by his rugby nickname. It was a very cheeky name and referred to a lady’s body parts. At his wife’s funeral I called his son - let’s say Big Tits (it really was more silly than offensive but I can’t tell you what it was otherwise it is very identifying!)

Kind of like this…
Me: Hello Mr T, pleased to meet you although I am so sorry about the circumstances, you have my every sympathy.
Mr T: Thank you, are you here with one of my sons?
Me: Yes. Big Tits.
Mr T: Pardon me?
Me: Big… Tits..?

I also completely forgot my friend’s real name as I was so used to calling him by his nickname. I was on a Big Tits loop.

Waiting at the crem for the rest of the mourners to arrive from the church the priest, who is a good friend, started to wond me up. My reaction was to try to kick him, to the bemusement of the Funeral Directors and my mum. My sister was most definitely not amused.

Then, as we went in, the instrumental arrangement of 'Danny Boy' my mum had asked for had been replaced by vocal version sung by an old crooner. That was it for my mum and I and we lost it. Aforementioned sibling was even more displeased.

My dd learnt to walk just a few days before my uncle's funeral. She slept for most of the service and was unimpressed she couldn't explore the church when she woke, so when we reached the crem I let her wander around inside as there were only a few of us there (mid-Covid). When we went outside I let her go where she wanted which was towards the other group of mourners there. I had no idea why, til I spotted the large, muddy puddles. I could have got her away but knew she had an hour in the car coming up and couldn't face a tantrum, so let her go for it. She had a great time splashing, then she sat down. In the water. Think very nicely dressed toddler sitting in a large puddle of very muddy water, beaming. It cheered everyone in the vicinity up greatly!

My Husband's funeral. A friend was sat next to a man who realised he knew no-one there. The funeral he was supposed to be at was the next one, but he didn't want to get up and maybe cause a fuss so he stayed .

Not a funeral as such but the wake ....I'm a home visiting HCP. When visiting one of my regulars I arrived and saw a funeral car parked near by. Thought nothing of it and got my equipment from my car and walking up the path.....two minutes my patients daughter came flying down the path wearing an apron apologising that she forgotten to inform us and the wake about the start. I made a quick retreat expressing my sadness at the news, and yes on re checking the notes on the screen back at the clinic they gone black. No idea why not gone black before. That day was the day the receptionist at the request of my manager started checking the local paper for deaths before we did home visit s. I think my patient who I knew well would have found amusing I'd attending his wake in a professional way.

Fil's funeral - the music he'd chosen for after the speeches etc was Dvorak's New World Symphony, better known as the music from the Hovis ad.

He was being cremated.

My Uncle Richard's funeral. The celebrant started with "I wasn't lucky enough to know Dick, but having spoken to friends and family I've come to realise that everyone who knew Dick can consider themselves very fortunate." And then continued in that vein for ten minutes. Then I had to stand up and speak, still no idea how I got through it.

My dad tells this story of a fella he worked with that died. Apparently his wife had requested “that song from Robin Hood” meaning Bryan Adams “everything I do” but apparently they got the theme to the 1950s telly programme.

Picture the scene as the curtains closed on the coffin “Robin hood, Robin Hood riding through the glen…Robin hood Robin Hood with his band of men…feared by the bad…loved by the good…Robin hood…Robin hood…

A friends funeral in 1990 when tape cassettes were still widely used. Village Church was packed. A chap from the village did a reading then played a very sad song on a cassette player. The friend had cancer & requested this song to be played in church.
So the chap doing the reading had borrowed his teenage daughters tape to record the song. Unfortunately he didn't wipe the rest of the cassette clean. The church was filled with hard core rave immediately after the song.
It certainly gave us all a good laugh after such a sad moment!

My uncle planned his funeral due to an illness, had a wicked sense of humour with a cremation. A song choices included burn, baby, burn

I was very close to my Nana and was devastated when she died. I was 21 and hers was the first proper funeral I attended. She was a lapsed Catholic, so a priest led the service, and then we went out for the commital. As we all huddled round the grave, the priest handed round a bottle of Holy Water to sprinkle. I didn't realise it was a damn squeezy bottle so as I took it from him I liberally squirted the family members on the opposite side of the grave. Interestingly they were the family members who had been particularly unsupportive of my Nana and my Mum so it did seem like karma....

My DPs funeral last year was a bit of a spectacle. Organising it was a bit like stage management as he was well known and loved in our community - 500 attended in person and 1500 watched the livestream.

His Aunt is a Baptist preacher, and bless her she lead the service - how I don't know as they were very close - I recorded my eulogy as I spent the service slugging vodka behind my veil and in a state of dissociation.

However, there was one brilliant moment - Auntie was waxing lyrical about what a lovely cute little boy he had been, while photos revolved on the TV behind her. As she was giving this part of her speech, a photo of DP flashed up with him dressed in his usual flamboyant garb, giving the photographer the finger. The congregation fell apart, as it was so him - he had a very irreverent streak - and fortunately Auntie managed to turn and catch the image before it changed and also appreciated the joke, otherwise would have wondered why the heck everyone was laughing.....

I got through organising it all with plenty of dark humour. During one session with various friends and family, I suddenly said, deadpan "Of course now we just have to organise three costume changes for him" - DP was a performer and when we did events he would do that. There was this stunned silence as I'm pretty sure they thought I'd finally list the plot. The penny dropped and there was some bittersweet merriment.

Looking back it was the most horrific, uplifting, painful and surreal thing I've ever experienced. I think it was only humour that got me through.