Funny moments at funerals

[GwinCoch]

This isn’t really an AIBU, but thought it fit here the best. The other thread about dress at funerals made me think about how differently we all remember those we have lost. It also made me think about a very silly thing that happened at my Nana’s funeral where we all lost it to laughter.

I know there are cultures and people who believe in absolute solemnity. So this thread might not be for you, although of course you’re welcome here. But I have always found that laughter and silliness has made grief so much easier to deal with. So, this is a thread for funny moments at funerals. And for anyone who thinks that this is disrespectful or wrong, you are entitled to your feelings. But this is a thread for those of us who lost our mind to the giggles which were the other side of grief.

I gave another example on the other thread, but it was the same funeral - my paternal Nana. And because she never went to church but decided to be buried there (I have six relatives buried there) the vicar didn’t really know what to say about her, he didn’t know her. (That’s another issue for people to quibble about outside of this thread!) So my dad was working in Uganda, flew home and took care of all of the arrangements.

The service began: “And what can we say about this woman? Mother of five? Her middle son works in Uganda…” and the rest of the eulogy was about my dad’s job! Really?! We did the rest of the service and then went to the pub for the post-funeral and everyone was queuing up to talk to my dad - it was the funniest thing. We’re Welsh valleys we don’t mince our words but it no one was horrid it was just every minute “Raise a glass to Nana - but more importantly to her son who works in Uganda!” Everyone was howling and my dad kept saying: “She was a very private person!” We all call him SURNAME of Uganda now, like a Livingstone joke. He laughs about it too and has stopped defending it now!

My husband's Nan had the Eastenders theme tune as the closing music. The vicar did comment that he unfortunately couldn't find the version with the "duff duffs".

At my BIL's funeral we took our 3 year old. This was a particular request of MIL who wanted the grandchildren to be there. We explained to him in advance what to expect and he seemed to take it in. Then when we were sitting in the Chapel with the organ music playing he asked in a loud voice "When's the bride coming in? "

My Mums funeral. We had a humanist ceremony in village hall then followed the coffin to churchyard behind - afterwards it was back to village hall for champagne and cakes.

As we walked up the path the sun came out but there was still a bit of rain. The grave was beautifully sited by a large tree and the only sounds as the pallbearers placed the coffin on the rests was the birds singing and some sobbing.

The pallbearers seemed to be taking a while but put some wooden things down on the grave and rested the beautiful wicker coffin on them. There was then a lot of walking round and whispering with the funeral director or the celebrant.

I suddenly realised what was happening - the coffin was too big for the hole! I whispered to my husband and he agreed. It looked as though if you gave a good stamp on one end, you could probably jam it in.

Funeral director confessed, and we went back to hall for champagne and chat before coming out again. We all laughed - typical of my Mum not to want to miss the champagne and party! She was also only 5'2 so was the first time in her life (!) she was too tall for anything!

Some much needed levity on a horrid day.

Another one told to me by a former vicar at our church. He was leading the service for a deceased with an open coffin surrounded by lit candles. As he was reading part of the service from the standard service sheet he was horrified to spot one of the candles tip over and fall into the coffin. Afraid that the shroud would catch fire, but hoping to avoid any alarm to the family (who hadn't seen) he started to signal with eye and hand signals to the curate who was standing closer. He continued to read from the sheet but was understandably less focused and realised that he had actually read out word for word "As we commit our dear brother or sister, delete as appropriate". Luckily meanwhile the curate managed to subtly remove and extinguish the candle!

My parents attended the funeral of a man who worked with my dad who'd died in quite horrific circumstances.
It was a Catholic mass after which they all made their way to the graveside.
Only the grave wasn't big enough for the coffin!
So the gravediggers had to leave everyone waiting while they dug the hole big enough to fit the coffin.
I don't think anybody knew where to look.

Absolutely made me cry to read this.
💐

For my aunts funeral we were all invited to do a crossword of her favourite songs mid way through one of the songs. It was the most bizarre funeral I've ever been to.

Possibly apocryphal but I've heard the story of the vicar using Sat nav on their phones to find an unfamiliar church. They find it, a bit late but get there before the coffin. As they stand up to start the service the voice from the sat nav says very clearly 'you have reached your final destination.'

I did the funeral for a family of taxi drivers. At the church, if it could go wrong it did. When we went for the committal at the cemetery they got lost and were very late. As I did the final 'dust to dust' with some relief but someone rushed out of the crowd shouting 'Mavis, my Mavis' and nearly threw themselves into the grave. Who were they? Was it the right graveside? Who was Mavis?

Do not get doves for funerals. If they get stressed they die quietly and if the funeral director throws them upwards to the heaven they plummet to the ground with a thud. Alternatively a local bird of prey takes them out. Cue much giggling by clergy and FD behind the professional mask.

Two instances at my DM's funeral. It was COVID so only a handful of us there. Feb 2021, snowing for an outdoor burial. Firstly we were all wrapped up like snowmen, no formal wear at all. Big coats, hats, gloves, and snow boots. The bearers slipped on the ice whilst walking down to the plot, visions of mother rolling gracefully back down the hill! They caught her, and retained their solemnity, we didn't so much. Graveside the vicar did his best to sum up my atheist mother, by musing that he had visited her once, had a long theological discussion, but decided that he obviously wasn't quite her "flavour". Tbf he did a good job though, and focused on the person rather than the religion.

On the way to Grandma's funeral, we saw the Google maps car. I think my uncle found the picture they'd taken.

At a colleagues funeral and waiting for it to start. There was a dog barking outside. Another colleague got up and left, dog stopped barking and she came back in and sat down. I actually wondered if she'd killed the dog?! She hadn't.

Same funeral his name was mistyped on the order of service, and the priest wasn't sure so sort of mumbled the ending of the name.

@ShowOfHands yours made me snigger, I know exactly the type of Grandma you mean

Someone at that crem has a wicked sense of humour

Grandpa died in the United States. Sp there doing a military flag folding. Its all solem and quiet and every one is crying. Grandma looks up, looks at the guys shoes and yells " look how Shiney his shoes are he must spit polish" everyone is laughing and you can see the flag folders are trying to keep composure

MILs funeral last year. DH is a Funeral Director so was overseeing the getting the coffin out of the hearse. Just as they lifted it there was a huge clap of thunder then the very dramatic swan lake music started. We found it amusing as MIL was the least dramatic person ever.

When we were getting in the cars for my mum's funeral, the Coop lady very solemnly told me they were a new fleet and this was the first funeral they'd used them for. We all got in - me, sister, cousin and mums best friend - and the driver started the car. Unfortunately, he obviously didn't yet know how to turn the radio off, and it started blaring out that Nilsen song "I Can't Live (If Living Is Without You)".

Me, sister and cousin all pissed ourselves, my mum's friend stared at us like we were complete ghouls, and the poor driver was clawing at the dashboard like a madman trying to turn it off.

My mum would have cried laughing if she'd been there.

One of the music choices at my dad's funeral was 'Song for John' (a song Yoko Ono wrote about John Lennon), so the celebrant got confused and started referring to my dad as John.

My dad wasn't called John.

And it was at the part of the eulogy where they'd just reached my parents' marriage, so the celebrant's next line was, "After the wedding John and [mother name] made the spur of the moment decision to run off to France, where they spent the next three months living next to a beach and embracing a hippie lifestyle."

My dad's family never liked my mum. And my dad hadn't been close to his family when he was younger so I don't think they knew about the France sojourn. So they actually thought that my mum had run off to France with some random bloke named John right after her wedding!

My lovely friend planned her own funeral. She went through the curtains to Fire by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, but not until the bit at the end where he sings "You're gonna burn, you're gonna burn." Cue cat's bum faces from the Salvation Army continent and chuckles from the rest of us.

My DGD and DGM had planned and paid for their own funerals meticulously and specified no flowers. When DGD died, the betting shop he frequented didn't get the memo and sent (I swear this is true) a floral horse's head. The FD dutifully stuck it at the back of the hearse, where it was the only floral tribute and looked....decapitated. I was howling with laughter all the way to the crem - it was like we were burying Don Corleone.

DGD would have howled too.

2 funny occasions for me:

1. my father in law's funeral. My nearly 2 year toddler was present (at my mother in law's request). I had explained to her in advance that her grandfather had died and tried to prepare her for what would happen at the funeral. In came the coffin. I whispered to her that Grandpa's body was in the 'box'. Her response was an interested "where's his head?" I assured her that his head was there too! When the coffin was taken out, she waved and said "bye bye, Grandpa" which was very sweet.

2. my mother's funeral. Siblings and I were sitting sideways on, with our children opposite us and the coffin at the front, to our left and their right. Children ranged from about 4-11. Midway through the service I noticed that some of them were nudging each other and stifling giggles.

I followed their gaze to see that the resident cat had come in and was standing up on his back legs sharpening his claws on the coffin (which was a wicker type thing rather than a traditional coffin). A virger then rushed in and removed it.

A neighbour in her 50s had an outfit for a wedding, and when her elderly neighbour was unexpectedly invited to a wedding she offered it to her. It wasn't returned despite many hints, but never asked directly. The elderly lady became suddenly ill and died. The younger neighbour couldn't help but remember her dress as the wedding was approaching soon so she decided to ask a family member at the wake, drop it into conversation as such and ask if she could pop upstairs to retrieve it. BUT when she arrived there was the deceased neighbour laid out in her outfit. True story I swear. Makes me laugh every time.

My husband’s grandmother was a big Disney fan and the lion king was her favourite so at the end of the service they lowered her coffin to the song “can you feel the love tonight” chosen by dh’s dad and aunt. But the people doing the service used the Timone and Pumba version rather than the planned Elton John one. Family were fuming but dh and I were crying with laughter. In all honesty, she’d have probably preferred the Timone and Pumba version!

At my cousin’s funeral (she’d died age 16 when I was 14 so very tragic and unexpected). My auntie (whose daughter was the one who’d died) was in the funeral car after the service and made the comment that the coffin bearers were so old she thought one might keel over and we’d have a double funeral on our hands… The little window between us and the driver and passenger was open so they completely heard (they’d been 2 of the coffin bearers). Auntie and the rest of us realised and were horrified. It was such a hard day and she was just trying to fill the silence. But then we had a 20 minute journey trying not to laugh because we were facing each other and trying not to make eye contact. Might dad’s shoulders were uncontrollably going up and down with tears streaming but it was from laughing at his sister’s comment.

A relatives son died very sadly in his early 30s. He was a bit of a rogue in his day and at the funeral the priest said ‘What can I say about Ronnie (not real name)? He was the type of young man that, if he was a neighbour, you’d make sure your car was locked at night’. Stunned silence and then his mum smiled. It was true but never thought a priest would say that!!’

My uncle died many years ago in Ireland. The custom there is to take the body to the church the night before the funeral. The mourners were then invited back to my aunt’s house. My uncle was a well- known and well liked man so there were a lot of people at the church.
Back at my aunts I heard one woman say to another,” There were a lot of people at that funeral.”
To which the other woman replied, “Yes, but if all the people whose funerals I’ve been to come to mine, there’ll be a big crowd! “
Er…they’re dead!

Not mine, but my elderly MIL recently went to the wrong funeral. She didn't think she was late but the funeral was already underway when she arrived so she sneaked in at the back, and she is a bit deaf so couldn't hear the eulogy very well, but after a while she began to think it was a bit odd that she didn't recognise anyone. None of the friends she was expecting to be there were in the Church...
Slowly it dawned on her that she was in St Fred's on Main Street but the funeral she was supposed to be at was in St Fred's on High Street. Obviously she couldn't just get up and walk out so had to stay til the end then leave as fast as possible before anyone spoke to her. She got to the right funeral just in time for the wake. Fortunately her friend's family thought it was very funny and they reckoned she would have been laughing too. We do wonder what the other family thought about the rather glamorous elderly lady at the back of the Church who mysteriously disappeared before anyone could ask how she knew the deceased though!