Funny moments at funerals

[GwinCoch]

This isn’t really an AIBU, but thought it fit here the best. The other thread about dress at funerals made me think about how differently we all remember those we have lost. It also made me think about a very silly thing that happened at my Nana’s funeral where we all lost it to laughter.

I know there are cultures and people who believe in absolute solemnity. So this thread might not be for you, although of course you’re welcome here. But I have always found that laughter and silliness has made grief so much easier to deal with. So, this is a thread for funny moments at funerals. And for anyone who thinks that this is disrespectful or wrong, you are entitled to your feelings. But this is a thread for those of us who lost our mind to the giggles which were the other side of grief.

I gave another example on the other thread, but it was the same funeral - my paternal Nana. And because she never went to church but decided to be buried there (I have six relatives buried there) the vicar didn’t really know what to say about her, he didn’t know her. (That’s another issue for people to quibble about outside of this thread!) So my dad was working in Uganda, flew home and took care of all of the arrangements.

The service began: “And what can we say about this woman? Mother of five? Her middle son works in Uganda…” and the rest of the eulogy was about my dad’s job! Really?! We did the rest of the service and then went to the pub for the post-funeral and everyone was queuing up to talk to my dad - it was the funniest thing. We’re Welsh valleys we don’t mince our words but it no one was horrid it was just every minute “Raise a glass to Nana - but more importantly to her son who works in Uganda!” Everyone was howling and my dad kept saying: “She was a very private person!” We all call him SURNAME of Uganda now, like a Livingstone joke. He laughs about it too and has stopped defending it now!

A good friend’s DH died rather suddenly. It was a very large funeral with people jam packed into the church. Just before the start of the service, myself and a three friends greeted an elderly acquaintance sitting behind us. She responded in kind, but as she did, her dentures came flying out of her mouth with quite a force, and the four of us, in a vague attempt to capture the runway dentures, cupped our hands as if we were fielding in a game of cricket at Lord’s. Unfortunately, our catching skills were not up to par and at the same time the congregation became silent, the flying dentures landed on the wooden floor resulting in what can only be described as a sonic boom due to the church’s amazing acoustics.

As our elderly acquaintance was on the larger side, she was not able to bend over in the limited space between the pews and retrieve her dentures. My friend and I did this by sweeping the dentures around with our feet so that we could pick them easily and as ‘unobtrusively’ as possible. On receiving the amazingly intact dentures back, our elderly acquaintance proceeded to open her mouth as wide as possible and pop them back in with great aplomb seemingly totally nonplussed by what has just transpired.

At this point my friends and I started to giggle uncontrollably. We had tears and our bodies were shaking from trying to hold in the laughter which caused the pew to shake. Because it was such a totally inappropriate time to be laughing I think it made us laugh more. It was dreadful. We did eventually get ourselves under control but every so often during the service one of us would let a little muffled giggle that set us all off. It was funny and awful all at the same time.

This isn't that funny, you kind of had to be there but it heelped lighten the mood at a very sad funeral I attended.
It was the funeral of my cousin's infant daughter. Very sad. The priest was quite a young man and was absolutly lovely. At the end we all filed out of the church to walk to the graveyard for the burial. Myself and my brother were almost the last to leave and we noticed the priest in a side room putting on his coat. So we assumed that another priest would be doing the graveside part as this priest was not going to be able to get there before the coffin.
We all walked solemnly to the graveside and when we got there the priest was already there. It so so sureal. We had not seen him passing us and couldn't figure out how he'd done it.
Anyway later on we all had a meal and my cousin, the baby's father came and sat with us at a table of cousins and we all had a good laugh trying to figure out how the priest had managed it, were there secret passages, did he have some kind of special spiritual gift.
I told my mother about it afterwards and she said that she'd seen the priest walking quickly along the side of the procession overtaking everyone decreetly to get to the graveside first.

have name changed, as I know that my friend in the second story is on here.

first one was the funeral of a guy who had been a good friend of my deceased parents but who had stayed in touch with the family. It was a Catholic funeral and as people were entering the church the priest was standing in the doorway throwing holy water onto people. As my family group went through the door my brother decided to make little tssss tssss hissing sounds as the holy water hit each one of us, giving our group a kind of theatrical sound effect like we were all vampires in a hollywood film. Cue all of our family trying to stifle
giggles as we found a seat in the church. (brother was in his fifties so old enough to know better but always the joker).
Funeral started and the priest proceeded the coffin swinging incense everywhere, my niece who is allergic to pretty much everything then starts to sneeze uncontrollably for the next ten mins, whilst the rest of us try to keep a straight face.

Second funeral was the elderly mum of a good friend, both of us are dance teachers and her mum had been a well known a respected pianist for dance classes and played for lots of local dance schools exams over the years. As I and another friend arrived at the church I ran into the lady who had taught me ballet as a child (now in her seventies) and we decided to sit together. As the funeral began she looked a little confused and asked to see the order of service, then in a loud stage whisper (she is a bit deaf) said ‘who the hell is (insert friend’s mum’s name)- I
always called her Muriel’ (not her name or anything like her name). As it transpired she had really been calling this poor lady by the wrong name for the last 40/50 years.

Following our mother's death my brother and I were sorting through her clothes to find something to take to the undertaker, she had lost a great deal of weight during her final illness.

I held up a suit she had worn for my daughter's graduation a couple of years earlier and my brother exclaimed 'It's massive, it'll bury her!' So I said 'It's ideal then!'
When we first went to the undertaker to make the arrangements we told him, Heathcliffe was his first name, that when our father had been buried in a family plot 15 years earlier because the ground was so hard he wasn't too deep, I recall my mother looking down at his coffin and commenting 'There'll be no room for me there', Heathcliffe phoned the Vicar who arranged for us to meet the gravedigger who would 'probe the plot'. We arrived expecting some high-tec sonar equiipment, instead we were greeted by a man with the longest kebab skewer you have ever seen.
She would have been in hysterics, she had a wicked sense of humour.

I think that is fantastic ❤️

Last year, funeral of a friend's dad, someone's phone went off during the eulogy, and it was the Steptoe And Son theme! It certainly raised a bit of a laugh.

Very sadly a good friend of mine died when we were in our early 20's. He was larger than life, gay, loved partying, was always getting Into one night stands ... and shorter - he really lived life to the max because he'd had cancer before and wanted fun!
Unfortunately the cancer returned and he wry sadly died. At his funeral, I was with a couple of his gay friends and the vicar said about his love of the flute ... I nearly burst out laughing ... he's not what you'd consider a musician! His mum was also wearing a necklace he wore for a few years prior to his death - what she didn't know was he'd acquired it after a 'romantic moment' with a stranger in a club, it was attached to his belt! It was actually lovely that there were a few giggles from me and his other friends who also felt the same, because it was so sad he'd died and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the day.

My uncle was - supposed to be - cremated, but at a crucial moment there was a powercut...

He was left on pause, and we all toddled off.

15 years ago I was at my grans funeral. One of my cousins took it upon herself to sing a solo song in her honour. Well, it was like a bag of cats being released in the chapel, truly horrific. The entire pew was shaking from the row of people trying to contain their hilarity. One of those ones where you daren't look at anyone because you all know you are clinging on to grace by a hair and one second of eye contact, the guffaws will never be contained.

My husband, brothers and brother in law decided to carry my Dad's coffin at the church and graveyard. Practiced beforehand with an ironing board on Mother's drive.

Not funny exactly but definitely distracting.

At my uncle's funeral I was sat behind my cousin. In his youth this cousin had been a bit wild. Shaved his head like a skinhead and had lots of tattoos etc. I realise the tattoos would not be a big deal these days but this was several decades ago when they were much less common. Anyway the cousin had grown up out of his wild stage, grown his hair, got a job etc.

The day of the funeral was very hot so cousin was wearing a white shirt and tie but no jacket. I kept getting distracted by the tattoos that I could almost but not quite make out on his back through his shirt. Worse, though, was the fact that he was beginning to lose his hair a bit so the tattoo on his head was starting to re-emerge. I could make out "I AM A M" but couldn't quite figure out the rest of the phrase to tell if he was claiming to be a madman, or a murderer, or something else beginning with M.

At my husband's funeral several people wanted to stand up and say a few words about their memories of him. His best friend from childhood went first, and it was like he was reading War and Peace, it just went on and on for ages, so there was no time for anybody else to speak.
But what made it funny was the next funeral party waiting to come in had hired a Scots bagpipe player. We kept hearing the sound approaching, get louder, then fainter as he was sent round the block again.
At his third approach I started laughing. Now I laugh like Joker, and I couldn't stop or disguise it. My husband had a wicked sense of humour, a real practical joker, and our friends knew he'd have found it funny and were laughing (but much more discretely than me). But his ex wife and her family were there and giving me evils which just made me laugh even more.

But my favourite funny funeral has to be Uncle Saul's in Friday Night Dinner, no matter how many times I watch that I cry laughing at it.

I delivered a reading at my friend's funeral and tripped as I got up to the lecturn on the altar. Everyone giggled. My friend would have been the loudest one laughing and would never have let me forget it!

I've just come to collect the milk money

😂

I've only read the first couple but if anyone is a funeral director, please do an AMA.

OK my mum's funeral.

Front row, my dad, brother, me, brother's three children.

It's an RC mass, I'm atheist so the front row, except me, goes up to get communion, I'm on my own watching what is going on.

Other friends and relatives follow the front row to get communion, a woman stands just to my right with a chalice of wine.

Now my family is only about 50% RC, so I was suprised when one of my cousins walked up. Cousin took the host but didn't know what to do with it, he was standing right in front of me in the queue to get the wine.

He was turning it over looking at it, then he realised there was a chalice of wine being held up for him to drink out of so he literally threw it into his mouth and gulped it down.

I managed to not corpse (no pun intended).

I'd just about composed myself by the time the priest read out an email my brother had sent to him about my mother.

Part of it referred to my brother's friend confiding in my mother when he thought he had got his girlfriend pregnant.

Now that doesn't sound like it is funny. But I knew the friend, and I knew what he and his girlfriend had been doing, and I knew they were both still virgins.

On the way back from the crematorium I said to my brother it was more an example of his school's poor sex education.

Name changed as this is recognisable.

DH's grandmother's funereal. The vicar officiating also delivered the eulogy. She had never met his grandmother, but had spoken to her children and had gone to great lengths to include some touching anecdotes as part of the eulogy. One of these anecdotes was that when DH was younger he had a toy cat called Arnold and his grandmother had spent a lot of time knitting outfits for this cat. She delivered the eulogy very well and it was a touching moment I thought.

However after the service, we were talking to 2 of DH's uncles, one who had known him as a child and one who had married into the family later on.
Uncle 1: Lovely story about Arnold in the service, but you know she really could have mentioned that Arnold was a toy cat!
Uncle 2: oh, I thought she meant he was a real cat!!!!

DH and I hadn't noticed this crucial omission in the eulogy were in hysterics thinking of DH trying to dress up an actual cat with these intricate outfits that were made for the toy; and we're also whether the vicar actually knew he was a toy cat, and what most of the people at the service must have thought!!!!! 😂

One church funeral I attended played Shaggy's 'Mr Boombastic' as the final song as we all left the church. That put a smile on all our faces.

My grandmothers funeral. She was a double amputee and when the curtains closed. Teh happy clappy vicar who has been slightly "out there" throughout the service stated shouted "Run Lily, run like the wind ". We all just collapsed

I was taking a funeral at the crem. The first hymn was, IIRC, Dear Lord and Father of Mankind which is if not solemn, at least slowish. I pressed the button for the music to start and out blared some very lively jazz music! Luckily the family saw the funny side! It took a few minutes for the crem staff to sort things out.

This is not funny exactly but cheering - I once officiated at a funeral in church with burial in the local churchyard. The coffin was conducted to the grave by a local brass band playing “When the Saints come marching in”> It was brilliant - and just like that scene in Live and Let Die - fairly slow until the coffin had been lowered into the grave then really jazzed up.

At my mil funeral it was decided that all of the grandsons would be pall bearers. First there was going to be a mass In church then onto the crematorium for the committal. My son said " so we've got to take grandma out of the hearse then into church then back out of church back into the hearse then into the crematorium ." "Yep, "
"omg is it normal to worry about dropping the coffin " we assured him that it was . My mil was a practising catholic but when she was dying and my fil asked her priest to give her the last rites and he refused as she was in hospital and to travel to the hospital would have taken him 30 minutes and he said it was too far. As a result my fil decided to have the mass at her old church. The priest there agreed to do it which was great but it was a 60 minute normal drive away but in hearse driving time a fair bit longer. Anyway we'd been driving for 40 minutes when my son said he was busting for a wee, he thought the nerves had got to him, the other grandsons said " oh thank god you said that cos so are we" we arrive at the church and my husband says to the priest who was waiting outside to welcome mil " I'm very sorry but a couple of the mourners need to go to the toilet " Apparently this was not a problem. All of the grandsons and about 5 other mourners walked into the church, the congregation all stood and were a bit surprised when instead of walking down the aisle with a coffin, everyone made a swift right turn and went to the toilet. There was only 1 toilet so it took a while. Then they all came back out together to collect the coffin. We did laugh as my mil would have thought it was hilarious.

Oh my god. My granddads funeral was like no other 😂

At her request! I had collated and sent the vicar a list of everyone’s memories (5 kids plus grand kids), carefully edited with so that she knew whose memory was whose. She somehow attributed every single memory to me. It sounded like I’d had the most interesting and adventurous life though would have been mostly physically impossible 🤣

She got all his children’s names wrong and pronounced his name (Harry!!) as Hairy all the way through. By the end of it no one could look at each other.

Then to top it off - we went outside to bury him and the pallbearers knocked one of the wooden stand things that support the coffin into the grave. No one could get it out so someone offered to jump in and get it, there was a whole stand off before eventually someone went to find the gravedigger who was in the pub. We all stand around, the bloke comes back with the grave digger who no joke - is dressed like the grim reaper. He has a black hooded tunic type thing and black trousers with a big scythe!! Hooks the stand out and we try to go back to being solemn!

I’ve never been to anything like it

RC funeral in Ireland, my friends grandad had peacefully passed away in a nursing home after a long battle with cancer. Her grandma was a little eccentric but at this point had undiagnosed dementia. Grandma spent an afternoon with the priest going over arrangements etc.

We get to the funeral and priest gives the eulogy, how he prayed with grandma that she would get over the shock of his death and thanked the neighbours for their help in trying to save his life (there's some curious looks amongst family at this point). He then goes on to mention his love of rugby and travel and shared stories from a number of the countries he had visited... (Giggles start amongst family members). Priest wraps up the eulogy by mentioning how he hopes his four children can support each other at this time (puzzled looks from family as he had a daughter and 2 sons).

We get to the wake and grandma told the priest she had found him dying at home and had tried to resuscitate him, had ran into the streets screaming for help and the neighbours assisted her til the ambulance came. Grandad has never left Ireland in his life and hated rugby as a 'posh boys' sport and was all about football. Grandma had told vicar her husband had an affair and she was raising "his bastard child" with her own 🙈

Priest was mortified but by this point grandma had latched on to my friends boyfriend and was flirting with him, she thought her granddaughter was her friend and they were out "on the razz" in their 20s and she kept telling my friend (her granddaughter) she was getting lucky tonight (with friends boyfriend).

We had my beloved gran's funeral two months ago. She was my whole world, and as a last act for her, I agreed to sing her favourite hymn as she was carried into the church.
I got to the very last line, and then I don't remember anything else, as I fainted spectacularly, without any warning. The Reverend (a former nurse and a former student of my gran in the 80s ironically) was an absolute ninja, she knew it was going to happen before I did, sprinting across the church and doing the most spectacular flying dive to catch me. She only lost one shoe - she said next time that happens I will have perfected the move.

My granny’s - died out of the blue two weeks to the day after I was told my mum had dementia so I barely knew what day it was and was in an absolute mess.

travelling to church with my cousin in limo, she said ‘the readings are very aggressively religious…’ - without thinking I replied, ‘so was granny!!’

They were going to bless the coffin with incense so one of the men from church went through the back presumably to start burning the incense … set the smoke alarms off 😂 could hear him frantically flapping at it.

Then standing outside the church after, being held up by two of my aunties, my sister (autistic/intellectual disability) who knew I was travelling in the limo … watching them put the coffin in the hearse - ‘is that the special car you’re getting in then?’

OMG…

On the way back I remember saying to same cousin, ‘granny thought she had no friends - that church was packed … it’s like when Ross had a pretend memorial just to prove people liked him…’

My dh started laughing at the 'purple headed mountain' bit of All Things Bright and Beautiful and literally couldn't stop. Had to leave the service! He isn't childish but omg he had been under so much pressure it just tipped him over the edge. Luckily the person whose funeral it was would have been laughing right along with him so praise be 😂