Someone complained about my child at sports day!

[SackRaceComplainer]

DC is 8, Y4. Has SN including dyspraxia.

For sports day every child has to take part. DC has some adjustments for sports day so they can fully take part.

Even with their adjustments they still come last in every race.

Someone has complained about the sack race and how my DC had an unfair advantage. DC started roughly half way along the track in their sack, had help to get in from staff (which the others didn’t) and then was picked up when they fell over while doing it whereas the others had to get themselves to their feet, DC had insisted they wanted to do this race – they were told they did not have to do it.

DC still came last and finished about 2 minutes after the other children they were racing. DC also fell through the finish ribbon thing onto the grass and had to be helped out.

And someones complained to the Governors about DC starting in a different place and that giving them an unfair advantage even though my child came last. Apparently starting half way along the track was an advantage.

Apparently it was taken straight to the governors, and I was informed as I was asked by the HT if she could share with the governors why DC started where they did because it’ll help the governors to decide if it’s an Reasonable Adjustment for DCs condition or whether in future all children start in the same place - I was just picking DC up for an appointment and was told this. HT says she doesn't agree it was an advantage.

My DC struggles enough as it is, just being upright is hard for them and now someone is complaining. DC was thrilled to even finish the sack race, they don’t care where they placed! The person who complained as a child in my DCs class – as it's been mentioned by name on the class whatsapp, and they’ve been together since Reception so said parent will have a fairly good idea of why DC started where they did.

Whats likely to happen now anyone know?

This! Shame on that parent.

First of all if it was me I'd say no, the school cannot share your child's personal information about why he has the reasonable adjustment. It's a reasonable adjustment and that's all the complainant needs to know. Anything else is none of her business.

Secondly, I'd be suggesting that school put her right back in her box. This is in NO WAY a matter for governors. I'd want to make it really clear that while there is a complaints process for serious issues at school and this does not meet the criteria. It's a minor issue for everyone other than the positive impact for your son.

There is no unfairness here. He was facilitated to participate and complete the race. He didn't take anything from anyone else. There is no 'advantage'.

Imagine being this competitive about sports day.

Awful, and knowing the parent knows about your DC and why alternative arrangements were made, makes it worse.

Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in some peoples minds.

The governors will find this whole thing ridiculous too.

Truly shocking.

Whats likely to happen now anyone know?

What's likely to happen, is that everyone will think that person is an utter fucking cunt and will probably keep a wide berth.

Honestly, some people are absolute cocks.

Put a message on the WhatsApp with words to the effect of
“my child has such a brilliant day at Sports Day despite her DISABILITIES making sports day quite hard for her. The school was so kind and fantastic at giving her any help that she needed. Big love to her classmates who gave her lots of support and encouragement”
That might make the twatty parent realise they are a twat.

The depths some people will sink to constantly surprise me. Someone complained about a little help for a child with a disability?

I hope that nothing will happen, other than this woman being put in her place, or at least being made to realise just how ridiculous she is. We should pity people like her, rather than being upset by them.

Totally agree with this.

I'm sorry OP. Sounds like your daughter did an awesome job, I hoped everyone gave her a really big cheer when she crossed the line.

Whatever happens in your life, remember you could have it worse. You could be this person. Someone so angry and bitter and twisted inside that they're upset at a kindness made to a kid with a disability. Someone who's world view is so warped that they think not just a moan to their peers a whine to a teacher, a complaint to the Head but an actual formal complaint to the Governors is appropriate. It must be truly miserable to live in their life.

What a rotten, nasty cunt. Fuck me, not much shocks me these days but that's fucking shitty.

I don't really know what to make of this. Why a parent would complain is beyond me. A little girl last year got the biggest cheers at my kids school (it has a lot of additional needs children in it) because she struggled to learn to walk and tried to run. She was amazing 😍.

Equally as a person who hated sports day because of my asthma and has a child with additional support needs that struggled massively with sports day I often feel sports day is an out of date concept. Surely sports is not the only thing kids should be praised for One of the kids who won the skipping race last year cheated by starting early and not skipping. They shouldn't have got the medal for cheating but did. How was that fair to all those that did participate and abide by the rules?

Wow!! The person who complained in a massive cunt!!! What sort of person would even think like that!

Part of wants to believe this parent has made a terrible mistake in complaining , and has MH issues themselves that have lead to them totally misunderstanding what happened at the event.

Unfortunately , due to the state of this country at the moment, I am well aware that a huge number of people or entitled , ignorant, selfish, mean spirited idiots and that the complainer just falls into that category.

I hope they are incensed when the Governors reply dismissing their spurious complaint, and warn against further baseless and discriminatory complaints.

And if call it out.

So proud of Jess. Despite her disabilities, despite needing a lot of help to even complete half the race, despite coming last she is so proud of herself for doing it.
I won't tell her one of her friends parents has made a formal complaint that she had help to do even this. Imagine knowing someone begrudges you help that still leaves you coming last. Imagine knowing someone can see their child clearly beat you and still be unhappy you were allowed to take part. It's heartbreaking enough as her mother to know this.

Instead we'll keep applauding her fight to always try her best.

Say

So my son started half way up and still finished 2 mins behind everyone else. As a disabled child he has the right to join in with reasonable adjustments and I don't know about you but a 10 min sack race waiting for my son to cross the finish line sounds ridiculous

I would help the governors with all the information they need to make this parent feel like the unbelievably shitty asshole type of person that the are

they should be ashamed, deeply ashamed of themselves

Can I say that I've personally responded to Parents making vexatious and unfounded claims like this. I phone them up or pull them aside at pick up. I think it's very important they are made to understand that they are discriminating against their child's classmate.

Your school is not handling this complaint well. Check the Complaint Procedure. At our School such a complaint would have gone straight back to the Phase Lead to answer (with the HT's) oversight.

Jesus Christ! What is wrong with people?!?! What a ridiculous, petty, unkind, ignorant & downright twatty thing to do - have they not got a shred of decency or compassion?

I also cannot believe the school &/or the governors are giving it any more than a second of their time. How utterly horrid for you & how completely stupid of them! In my school, that would have been immediately bounced back from the governors to the Head to deal with, who would have spoken to the complainers in no uncertain terms!

I really hope the other parents are calling them out for it. And fair play to you for rising above & not confronting them directly - my big mouth would have been straight in there, in the middle of the playground!!

This.

What a nasty shitty thing to do

I don't understand why the governors need to assess the individual need for an adjustment. What skills do they have to determine this over those of the school staff involved? What grounds would they have to deny an adjustment because the parent of a child with no disabilities that we know of is complaining?

I'd give my permission but also make my feelings on even being told about the complaint very plain.

As a school governor for many years I'm amazed that your headteacher didn't shut that down with the parent in question rather than referring it to the governors.

How fucking lucky for her (and her child) that her child is in a position where they can start at the beginning with all the other kids. 😡

Glad all she has to worry about is sports day and the apparent “unfairness” to all the NT kids because a pesky kid with SEN gets some adjustments made for them.

I mean, I don’t know if her child has SEN or not. But I’m guessing they don’t due to her attitude towards something she obviously doesn’t get.

Whoever reported your DC is a twat and will get a shock when for example, kids with dyslexia get extra time during exams compared to their kid.

DS1 won his reception class egg and spoon race by holding the plastic egg and the spoon in his fist and running normally! Obviously I told him after that that's not the point of the race and next time do the same as the others, but no one complained AFAIK as it was just a bunch of 5 y/os doing the egg and spoon!

Besides, what kind of self-absorbed twit wouldn't be able to gather from the help getting into the sack and the different starting line that the child has some sort of disability that is being accommodated? It's just common sense, surely?

Christ almighty, some people are just beyond the pale. I hope your DC enjoyed themselves, OP!