Someone complained about my child at sports day!

[SackRaceComplainer]

DC is 8, Y4. Has SN including dyspraxia.

For sports day every child has to take part. DC has some adjustments for sports day so they can fully take part.

Even with their adjustments they still come last in every race.

Someone has complained about the sack race and how my DC had an unfair advantage. DC started roughly half way along the track in their sack, had help to get in from staff (which the others didn’t) and then was picked up when they fell over while doing it whereas the others had to get themselves to their feet, DC had insisted they wanted to do this race – they were told they did not have to do it.

DC still came last and finished about 2 minutes after the other children they were racing. DC also fell through the finish ribbon thing onto the grass and had to be helped out.

And someones complained to the Governors about DC starting in a different place and that giving them an unfair advantage even though my child came last. Apparently starting half way along the track was an advantage.

Apparently it was taken straight to the governors, and I was informed as I was asked by the HT if she could share with the governors why DC started where they did because it’ll help the governors to decide if it’s an Reasonable Adjustment for DCs condition or whether in future all children start in the same place - I was just picking DC up for an appointment and was told this. HT says she doesn't agree it was an advantage.

My DC struggles enough as it is, just being upright is hard for them and now someone is complaining. DC was thrilled to even finish the sack race, they don’t care where they placed! The person who complained as a child in my DCs class – as it's been mentioned by name on the class whatsapp, and they’ve been together since Reception so said parent will have a fairly good idea of why DC started where they did.

Whats likely to happen now anyone know?

I sincerely hope the other parents in the what's app group have openly said are you actually joking, and fought your corner so to speak. Totally shitty behaviour.

Surely, any decent human being who can see a child with clear disabilities would encourage, support and cheer on from the sidelines in appreciation and admiration of the child's grit to participate. It actually makes me want to cry for you and your child as to how cruel people are (especially as they have known you a while)

What was said in the WhatsApp group exactly?

I hope they receive a suitably pithy response. How petty minded.

This made me feel so sad 😞
Who in their right mind would complain about something like this?!

F@@k me is the only response I can muster.

Other parent is out of order in complaint to school and messages to other parents - the WhatsApp messages need feeding back to the school.
Well done your child - and all the others giving him support during the race.
All children in DC primary have to take part - they are all cheered however they do and any stragglers are cheered extra hard when they cross the finish. Adjustments are also made for different age children.

Honestly, at our school the head and governors would have smacked this right down immediately and not even flagged it with you.

Some twat who sees the world in very black and white.

What we see as adjustments being made to help a child with SN be included… they see it as “cheating.” 🙄

Me too. What on earth is wrong with people?

I can't understand why the HT is giving this any airtime. All they needed to say was "you know that child has special needs and that is a reasonable adjustment" and close the conversation down.

Gobsmacked and really lost for words reading this. As someone else said that parent ought really to be pitied for their lack of empathy and basic humanity.

Stay strong OP and tell the head and the Governors that frankly you're amazed they're even giving this non issue head space.

And yes to saying something in the group WhatsApp. What did they say in that by the way?

What happens now is you tell that other parent on the What's App group that they are being a dick - possibly in slightly politer times along the lines of "this was a reasonable adjustment made for my child due to their disability, I'm sure you understand."

And then the other parents join in telling that parent they're a dick - possibly with politer comments along the lines of "we were really pleased to see X finished, well done him" etc.

I'm so sorry this has happened - I strongly suspect the teachers and governors (and most of the parents aware) will be outraged on your behalf!

Sounds more severe than dyspraxia tbh if you child can't even walk upright?

When I was a Governor, I'm pretty sure we would have said that this was not a matter for the Governing Body.

I can't believe what I have just read. I am so so sorry this happened to you and your sweet child. Fuck that parent. Seriously. Most normal parents would be thrilled for your DC taking part.

Its a sports day not the Olympics, the one who complained needs to take a look at themselves. Surely anyone in their right mind would assume there was a genuine reason behind it.

I’d love to ask the other parent why they’re such a terrible human being.

Nothing will happen. It’s possible the complainant may be informed of the reasonable adjustment although probably not the exact reason (although from what you’ve said they will already know). Plus every teacher in that staff room will secretly be rolling their eyes.

People can be dicks, just try your best not to let it bother you.

You can write a bemused note to the governors agreeing that the adjustment wasn't fair - given how long behind every other child yours ended the race.

You could also say that you anticipate that they give the complaining chump short shrift. VERY short shrift.

But mostly you could tell them that your reaction to this complaint was firstly a disbelieving laugh and then incredible anger and sorrow that some people are so fucking narrow minded.

As a primary school governor, I wouldn't expect petty non-issues like this to come to my attention. It's upsetting for you, and they'd see the complaining parent in a very poor light. Once they've unrolled their eyes from the back of their heads, the response will probably be along the lines of the school's duty to practise fairness and inclusivity in line with their policies. It probably won't end with 'Now off you fuck, cunty-chops', but maybe it should.

Few things surprise when it comes to parents but this has!! Really sorry you’re having to deal with this. Well done to your son and well done to you for raising such a resilient boy xx

I'd also love to know about their job, how they bring up their children etc....

Imagine her when it comes to GCSE, A levels and beyond......🥴

I’m surprised the head hasn’t just told them to get fucked (perhaps in slightly more polite terms). The parent doesn’t need to know anything about your DC, they just need to use a bit of bloody common sense.

That's a horrible thing to happen op. I would hope the person is just a solitary idiot or nasty person and the majority don't think like that. I'm sure the teachers and governors think she's awful and the rest of the parents too.

Christonabike you think you’ve heard it all don’t you? Then you hear that someone has stooped to an even lower level of arseholery. I really hope they have their arse handed to them by the governors. Utterly despicable.

Your child sounds a delight OP. I hope he enjoyed sports day.

In our school the kids and other parents would have cheered your child over the line. I hope that the other parent is just completely unaware of why your child started where they were rather than it being that they are an utter c*nt. I save that word for people like this