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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we shouldn’t have anyone visit before early flight?

97 replies

Lis1992 · 21/06/2023 08:48

We have a holiday coming up with some extended family members and my parents. I covered the holiday for my parents as a gift for a significant birthday this year. I’m living with them at the moment. My sister wants to visit tonight before we go. We are up at 3am for our flight. I think she should
have come yesterday instead, as wanted to go to bed (not to sleep to relax and hope to sleep later ) in the early evening. they were horrible to me when I said it’s not the best day for her to come and I’m so upset I’m not a great sleeper anyway, so I’ve been anxious about it as I hate being tired on a trip. AIBU?!

OP posts:
KipferlandCroissant · 21/06/2023 19:17

Just get everything ready, have your shower while she's here, and go to bed when it's late enough. You are flying, it's not that much of an issue if you are tired at the airport, everyone else will be. You are not driving to the other side of Europe.

Cosyblankets · 21/06/2023 20:18

Lis1992 · 21/06/2023 18:23

I won’t be able to sleep with people downstairs awake. Also people get in the shower late etc then and it keeps me awake as it’s beside my bedroom.

Then you need your own place
What if you want an early night and they want to stay up... do you send them to bed?

Girliegurl · 22/06/2023 01:45

Maybe your sister is anxious about her parents going away so wants to see them just in case something were to happen...
Anyway, you are being dramatic and a little selfish, put some earplugs in and go to bed.

Avondale89 · 22/06/2023 02:11

Fuck me. Is there anything people aren’t anxious about?

You’re going on holiday, you’re not sitting a 3 hour exam. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to rest on the plane/destination if people having showers have kept you awake the night before.

This is a ridiculous first world problem.

Hanam · 22/06/2023 02:20

Just go to bed if thats what you want. Leave them to do what they want.

WandaWonder · 22/06/2023 02:20

Good grief just go to bed, stop being controlling

QuizzlyBears · 22/06/2023 03:32

You sound precious. Go to bed, stick some headphones in if you need to.

MysteryBelle · 22/06/2023 04:01

Why didn’t she come the day before like you said? Very rude to come the night before when in a few hours you have to leave get up at 3am.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. Your sister is.

MysteryBelle · 22/06/2023 04:03

The parents need to rest too. The sister had days, and weeks to come visit, why the few hours right before a middle of the night flight. Makes no sense. Day before?? Hello.

WandaWonder · 22/06/2023 04:20

MysteryBelle · 22/06/2023 04:03

The parents need to rest too. The sister had days, and weeks to come visit, why the few hours right before a middle of the night flight. Makes no sense. Day before?? Hello.

Isn't that up to the parents to determine what they want?

AngelAurora · 22/06/2023 04:23

You are living with your parents, you do not get to dictate who visits their house.

existingusername · 22/06/2023 04:54

Lis1992 · 21/06/2023 18:23

I won’t be able to sleep with people downstairs awake. Also people get in the shower late etc then and it keeps me awake as it’s beside my bedroom.

Maybe you should think about moving out of your parents house.

Gracewithoutend · 22/06/2023 05:00

I always called round to see my parents the day before they went out holiday. Sometimes took them out for a meal - if my mum wasn't too stressed. Haha. I'd never not see them before they left. And I wouldn't listen to my sister if she told me I couldn't go. 😄

Ladybug14 · 22/06/2023 05:13

Lis1992 · 21/06/2023 18:23

I won’t be able to sleep with people downstairs awake. Also people get in the shower late etc then and it keeps me awake as it’s beside my bedroom.

But it's one night. You won't die if you get less sleep than normal.

It's not your house.

Your parents and sister can do what they please without your approval

Buy noise cancelling ear buds

SeatonCarew · 22/06/2023 05:38

Humidititties · 21/06/2023 12:27

What parade would she be raining on?

Maybe she just wants to say goodbye and wish her parents a nice holiday?

Show quote history

The fact that OP has paid for the holiday for her parents.

The fact they are going away with extended family and she is not.

She knows they have to be up at three. That and OP's tone made me wonder if there is rivalry between them.

ProfessorXtra · 22/06/2023 05:47

So people must go to bed at the same time as you, wherever you live because you can’t possibly sleep with people downstairs?

surely you can ask ‘can you get a shower earlier so I can sleep’ if it really disturbs you so much.

Although I am confused. Early in the post didn’t you say you won’t be sleeping. Just resting?

SS1983 · 22/06/2023 06:52

This is such a first world issue !

MollysBrolly · 22/06/2023 07:32

Why are they visiting to say have a lovely time??? Can't they just call.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 22/06/2023 07:35

Chat for a bit, then excuse yourself and go to bed.

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 22/06/2023 07:36

Gizlotsmum · 21/06/2023 08:51

Well I am sure you don’t need to stay up and she can visit her parents whenever she likes as long as they are happy

This.
Mumsnet has gone proper mad overnight. Think I might log out until they catch them all and put them back in their cages.

WildfirePonie · 22/06/2023 07:40

Sleep in your car/garage/tent and don't pay/go on holiday/book an early start again.

meatbaseddessert · 22/06/2023 08:14

MysteryBelle · 22/06/2023 04:03

The parents need to rest too. The sister had days, and weeks to come visit, why the few hours right before a middle of the night flight. Makes no sense. Day before?? Hello.

It's not a middle of the night flight. They have to get up at 3am so I imagine it's a 7 am flight. Early morning flights are almost always short haul Europe flights to a sun destination where presumably the OP can nap on a sunbed or in a hotel after a 'gruelling' 3 hour flight. I can't imagine she's likely to stay past 9 in which case everyone can get a solid 6 hour sleep

It's not like the OP has an ultra long haul flight where upon arrival they have to deliver a lecture on particle physics in any event.

Segway16 · 22/06/2023 08:27

It is inconsiderate of her if you all have to be up very early. It’s not your house - but you did pay for the trip. I don’t think you were unreasonable in saying you’d prefer she didn’t come. But as it’s your parents’ house you can’t really stop her.

Testina · 22/06/2023 08:34

@Segway16 is it really inconsiderate?
OP says her sister is coming early evening, not at a time when she wants to be in bed asleep, but in bed resting.

Testina · 22/06/2023 08:35

“I’m so upset I’m not a great sleeper anyway, so I’ve been anxious about it as I hate being tired on a trip”

This is ridiculously over the top, and tiresome. Have you sought therapeutic support for techniques to manage your anxiety? (that’s a genuine question not sarcasm)