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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rolling vagina farts

81 replies

Pizzatrip · 19/06/2023 22:18

Hello,

As far as I can remember, once in a while (normally whilst sat down or laying down), I’ll fart and it’ll roll forwards and make its way up my vagina.. it’ll often get stuck there and I’ll have to wriggle around a bit to get it out!

Does anyone else get this?!

YABU - that’s never happened to me, you weirdo
YANBU - yes! I’ve also experienced this

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/06/2023 23:32

This never happened to me before having children. And now I'm in the throes of perimenopause and things have loosened up even more down there, I can produce quite the fanfare. Seems to be hormone-related too, as it happens more when I get very bloated just before a period. I'm not convinced it's always worked its way forward from my backside either. I'm sure that there's actual fanny wind being produced somehow. I can't help but picture the bag on a set of bag pipes when it happens to me, or perhaps a piano accordion. Grin

Sometimes I can be walking across eg our staffroom with just one other person in it and one will just try to announce itself to the room out of nowhere, forcing me to have a fake coughing fit to disguise the noise. Sometimes I'm not quick enough and then I make a lame attempt to try to convince the other person that it was just my shoe was squeaking.

I have no idea why this either happens or why I pretend it isn't happening. I'm surrounded by other menopausal women. They know. Grin Somehow it just doesn't seem polite to say "oh, no, don't worry, that wasn't a proper fart, it was just wind caught up in my flaps".

The worst is if you sit down on the toilet for a wee and have to unclench your muscles to let your wee out knowing that there is a load of wind lurking in your nether regions ready to let rip the minute you relax. The echo of the toilet bowl just adds to the acoustics. A flush of the toilet to try to dampen the noise is essential. But let's face it, all women of perimenopause will know exactly what that signifies. And it isn't that you've had beans for lunch.

ExitThroughTheGiftShop · 19/06/2023 23:34

KitchenDancefloor · 19/06/2023 23:29

Someone has to take this as a username. So funny 😆

Show quote history

Yoink.

PinkLazyApple · 19/06/2023 23:35

Oh yes I get these too.

I can't do yoga because of the cavernous ones @Whatser refers to Blush

Hadjab · 19/06/2023 23:36

N0tANOoDl3He4D · 19/06/2023 22:39

It's the ones where you're sat down and strain harder than you should, and it goes up instead of down, and creates a sort of harsh vibratey effect leaving you feel like you ripped and set fire to your flaps...... No, just me? Please tell me its not just me.

I’m going to try this, in the name of biology of course, not because I’m a minger!

RoseBucket · 19/06/2023 23:37

The candy kittens guy, Jamie something was asking a few weeks ago if it was a real thing or if his wife Sophie was pulling his leg, he didn’t believe her when she told him about hers 😂

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/06/2023 23:39

N0tANOoDl3He4D · 19/06/2023 22:39

It's the ones where you're sat down and strain harder than you should, and it goes up instead of down, and creates a sort of harsh vibratey effect leaving you feel like you ripped and set fire to your flaps...... No, just me? Please tell me its not just me.

Not just you.

Barold · 19/06/2023 23:39

😂 I am familiar with this, yes.

HRTQueen · 19/06/2023 23:40

Yes I get this usually around my period time

i have recently developed another strange bodily function. I’m peri menopausal and often pee myself when I cough now foe some strange reasons the pee somehow works it’s way up my bum checks and releases itself 🤔

completely missing the pad I’m wearing

QueefQueen80s · 19/06/2023 23:48

I have those ask the time, they feel kinda nice 😂
Never had a genuine fanny fart/noise though

QueefQueen80s · 19/06/2023 23:51

Just remembered my username 🤣

CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/06/2023 00:10

HRTQueen · 19/06/2023 23:40

Yes I get this usually around my period time

i have recently developed another strange bodily function. I’m peri menopausal and often pee myself when I cough now foe some strange reasons the pee somehow works it’s way up my bum checks and releases itself 🤔

completely missing the pad I’m wearing

Depends what type of pad you're using. If it's a normal period pad rather than a tena or something else made for bladder issues,then they don't contain wee very well. So if you really cough or sneeze a good few times with a full bladder, you end up with quite a urine-soaked period pad, containing more liquid than you'd have with an average period . Then you sit down, and pad gets squeezed, with the wee getting squeezed out too like a sponge. I only realised this after walking through a crowded city recently to our hotel room after a nice lunch in a restaurant. Got back to the hotel room and DH said "what's that on the back of your dress" Blush I'm going to have to bite the bullet and start on the tenas.

yipeeyiyay · 20/06/2023 00:18

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/06/2023 23:32

This never happened to me before having children. And now I'm in the throes of perimenopause and things have loosened up even more down there, I can produce quite the fanfare. Seems to be hormone-related too, as it happens more when I get very bloated just before a period. I'm not convinced it's always worked its way forward from my backside either. I'm sure that there's actual fanny wind being produced somehow. I can't help but picture the bag on a set of bag pipes when it happens to me, or perhaps a piano accordion. Grin

Sometimes I can be walking across eg our staffroom with just one other person in it and one will just try to announce itself to the room out of nowhere, forcing me to have a fake coughing fit to disguise the noise. Sometimes I'm not quick enough and then I make a lame attempt to try to convince the other person that it was just my shoe was squeaking.

I have no idea why this either happens or why I pretend it isn't happening. I'm surrounded by other menopausal women. They know. Grin Somehow it just doesn't seem polite to say "oh, no, don't worry, that wasn't a proper fart, it was just wind caught up in my flaps".

The worst is if you sit down on the toilet for a wee and have to unclench your muscles to let your wee out knowing that there is a load of wind lurking in your nether regions ready to let rip the minute you relax. The echo of the toilet bowl just adds to the acoustics. A flush of the toilet to try to dampen the noise is essential. But let's face it, all women of perimenopause will know exactly what that signifies. And it isn't that you've had beans for lunch.

Do you mean you collect wind up your vagina and it comes out like a queef when you walk or pee? This never happens to me. I dint think this is something all menopausal women have happen

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 20/06/2023 00:19

PrinnyPaupersPurse · 19/06/2023 22:24

We call these lip ripplers as you have to wiggle to dislodge the gas and it normally rolls up the front between your flat bits.

Lip ripplers, I am howling 😂 I'm also stealing your name for them. Love, a fellow lip rippler

IHateLegDay · 20/06/2023 00:20

No comment 😅😂

CreamyFucker · 20/06/2023 00:29

Yep ever since I had my first child

Darcy86 · 20/06/2023 07:21

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/06/2023 23:32

This never happened to me before having children. And now I'm in the throes of perimenopause and things have loosened up even more down there, I can produce quite the fanfare. Seems to be hormone-related too, as it happens more when I get very bloated just before a period. I'm not convinced it's always worked its way forward from my backside either. I'm sure that there's actual fanny wind being produced somehow. I can't help but picture the bag on a set of bag pipes when it happens to me, or perhaps a piano accordion. Grin

Sometimes I can be walking across eg our staffroom with just one other person in it and one will just try to announce itself to the room out of nowhere, forcing me to have a fake coughing fit to disguise the noise. Sometimes I'm not quick enough and then I make a lame attempt to try to convince the other person that it was just my shoe was squeaking.

I have no idea why this either happens or why I pretend it isn't happening. I'm surrounded by other menopausal women. They know. Grin Somehow it just doesn't seem polite to say "oh, no, don't worry, that wasn't a proper fart, it was just wind caught up in my flaps".

The worst is if you sit down on the toilet for a wee and have to unclench your muscles to let your wee out knowing that there is a load of wind lurking in your nether regions ready to let rip the minute you relax. The echo of the toilet bowl just adds to the acoustics. A flush of the toilet to try to dampen the noise is essential. But let's face it, all women of perimenopause will know exactly what that signifies. And it isn't that you've had beans for lunch.

I'm not perimenopausal but I can relate hard to this 😂 the secret hiding toilet ones though!! Those damn acoustics!

Also agree with pp who said it's more prominent when hairfree down there 🤣

AliceMay55 · 20/06/2023 08:34

XenoBitch · 19/06/2023 22:23

Exit through the gift shop.

ROFL 😂 THIS IS HILARIOUS 😂

QueefQueen80s · 20/06/2023 08:54

I've done them since being a child!

LunaNorth · 20/06/2023 08:55

XenoBitch · 19/06/2023 22:23

Exit through the gift shop.

😂

LT2 · 20/06/2023 08:58

Well, since all females have the same anatomy (yes, we really do..) YANBU of course I have!

LunaNorth · 20/06/2023 09:00

I like it when you can trace the little bubble all the way from front to back. Makes me think of spirit levels.

And I call them lip ripplers too!

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 20/06/2023 10:10

Makes me think of spirit levels.

Haha me too 😂

Sauvblanctime · 20/06/2023 10:11

Yup!! The fart bubble gets stuck!

eatdrinkandbemerry · 20/06/2023 10:14

I'm call them growler groans 🤣

Toddler101 · 20/06/2023 10:26

Only after having my first child though, took me by surprise the first time. Never knew what I was missing out on until then! 😆