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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help with 3 kids on holiday?!

82 replies

holidayhell123 · 19/06/2023 19:28

I know this is going to sound incredibly privileged due to cost of living etc. but I am currently on holiday at an All Inclusive and I just want to go home!

It was supposed to be a relaxing break with our 3 kids (7,5,1) and instead it’s just actual hell. If i’m not spending the day asking the two eldest to stop doing something incredibly dangerous/stupid then i’m trying to stop the 1 year old from sprinting off into the water that is way over their depth. The 7 year old constantly wanders off as soon as your back is turned and the 5 year old whines the entire time. None of them sleep and i am just so exhausted! Husband is fantastic and really hands on but this holiday just feels never ending- we’ve been here a week and we are supposed to be going somewhere else before home, but instead i’m looking at flights back tomorrow!

I just feel like my children have turned feral and i’ve spent the entire holiday shouting at them! Anyone else find their kids have a personality change on holiday?! I don’t expect to be able to sit back and read a book i just want five minutes of no one tantrumming or sulking or disappearing! It feels like more work to be here than to just stay at home!

OP posts:
Randobelia · 19/06/2023 19:31

Just go home, it's not worth it!

Where is the next place and is it another hotel?

CharlotteStreetW1 · 19/06/2023 19:33

Is there a kids club you can use for the elder two?

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:36

This is why we have an only child.

NatMoz · 19/06/2023 19:40

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:36

This is why we have an only child.

Threads like these make me happy with my one and done decision.

Temporaryname158 · 19/06/2023 19:41

this sounds exhausting.

I would put arm bands/swim best on all non swimming children so you can at least look away for 1 second to get something out your bag without them drowning!

if there is no kids club to use I think you need to divide and conquer however you think best. You take 1 child for 1:1 time which they might respond well to or each parent tag teams for time alone to relax whilst the other has the 3.

why aren’t they sleeping? Is it too hot? Change of routine? I’d be tempted to recreate home. For me that would be dinner at a certain time, bath bed etc none of the fun holiday stuff of staying up late, mini disco etc if they ar e being a pain in the daytime

cestlavielife · 19/06/2023 19:43

Why arent they in the kids club?

Original poster
holidayhell123 · 19/06/2023 19:44

The next place is a city and an apartment which could be better because i feel like the main problem is they are all at different stages so an all inclusive doesn’t work because one wants water slides, the other wants a play area and the little one can’t do anything without full supervision so am spending the whole time with someone sulking! Was going to do a day out tomorrow but have booked the two older ones into kids club (which they’ve both refused to go to previously) because i feel like i’m going crazy! I’ve also had food poisoning earlier this week so not exactly feeling tiptop!

Absolutely love my children but i just feel like everything is a negotiation, i work in mergers and acquisitions and feel like i am just
still at work but this time negotiating with
a 5 year old who refuses to give in!

OP posts:
Abouttimemum · 19/06/2023 19:44

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:36

This is why we have an only child.

Same!

Newusernamee · 19/06/2023 19:47

Can you divide and conquer - husband takes the 2 eldest, you take the baby.wet for lunch and swop kids? I don’t think holidays are relaxing when kids are young….. same shit, harder conditions!

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:47

I thought I’d get fucking crucified for the one and done bit but apparently others feel similar! Glad I’m not alone!

gogohmm · 19/06/2023 19:48

Explains exactly why I only have two children, two parents two kids ok, 3 kids jeans you need another adult! (I also sneakily managed to persuade my childless brothers and my parents that holidaying with us was a lovely thing, we then got time off!)

Whatser · 19/06/2023 19:48

Swim vest for the 1 year old and divide and conquer (1 parent with 1yo, the other with older kids, occasional 1:1 time with each child). Also use the holiday club if possible. Make a list of activities that each child enjoys/can be done and also, make sure to have a period of downtime in the day where the kids can mooch in the hotel room watching TV/playing on a tablet, because without that they will get overtired and overstimulated and will be more difficult to manage. When all else fails, use bribery and lots of it, use whatever you can to bribe them into submission.

It's also important for you and your husband to have me-time, so try and set blocks of time where 1 parent watched all kids while the other goes for a lie by the pool or a walk.

We went recently with our 4 kids, 1 who has ADHD so is difficult at the best of times, and all of the above helped us to have a good relaxing time.

Abouttimemum · 19/06/2023 19:48

In all seriousness though we usually keep the routine we have at home in terms of bedtime (and usually book somewhere with a separate bedroom for DS which makes it easier for him to go to bed)

I think I agree with divide and conquer and whoever has the baby has the 7 year old which I’m sure needs less supervision than the 5 yo (I don’t have either so not sure!)

Our 4 yo DS is obsessed with waterparks - he wears a vest and can sort of swim but one of us still has to stand at the bottom to make sure he’s still alive so I can imagine supervising 3 at a waterpark is hard work!

Hollyppp · 19/06/2023 19:49

So there is a kids club but they’ve refused to go? Personally I would have tried a day with all 3 and if I felt I was getting overwhelmed it would have been kids club regardless of whether they fancied it or not

Abouttimemum · 19/06/2023 19:50

Whatser · 19/06/2023 19:48

Swim vest for the 1 year old and divide and conquer (1 parent with 1yo, the other with older kids, occasional 1:1 time with each child). Also use the holiday club if possible. Make a list of activities that each child enjoys/can be done and also, make sure to have a period of downtime in the day where the kids can mooch in the hotel room watching TV/playing on a tablet, because without that they will get overtired and overstimulated and will be more difficult to manage. When all else fails, use bribery and lots of it, use whatever you can to bribe them into submission.

It's also important for you and your husband to have me-time, so try and set blocks of time where 1 parent watched all kids while the other goes for a lie by the pool or a walk.

We went recently with our 4 kids, 1 who has ADHD so is difficult at the best of times, and all of the above helped us to have a good relaxing time.

This is all really good advice. I’m also an advocate of afternoon chill in the room with some tv / tablet!

NatMoz · 19/06/2023 19:55

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:47

I thought I’d get fucking crucified for the one and done bit but apparently others feel similar! Glad I’m not alone!

Admittedly in this situation it's not very helpful advice as the children can't go back in🤣 but I'm going to an all inclusive at the weekend and putting my 18m single child in the creche a few hours a day so we get child free mornings where she gets to do fun activities and we have family time afternoons. The perfect balance for us.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/06/2023 19:56

I think insisting on some sessions of the kids club a bit sooner would have helped. An even number, so you and DH could take turns to have 121 with the 1 to, and the other could nap!

Or if you’re lucky it could be the 1 yos nap time…

It’s hard when they’re all so little!

Ive only done AI with mine once (on my own as divorced parent). They were 5 and 10, and tbh one 5 year old made it not that relaxing. Just mainly because of needing to closely supervise in water, supervise at the buffets for the sake of other guests etc. Not being able to sit and relax that much.

Doing it again with 14 and 9 yos and have high hopes of it being more of a holiday now!

Parkandpicnic · 19/06/2023 19:57

Can never imagine a holiday with a 7.5 and 1 year old would be relaxing, our time to relax is to book a week off to relax on our sofa when they’re at school and nursery 🤣
Seriously, it is hit and miss with holidays and kids, certainly felt like coming home 2nd day on our last holiday. Get the older kids to at least try the kids club, they may love it! Do a shift system between you and your husband with the 1 year old if no other childcare available. Hope it’s a better day tomorrow for you

Original poster
holidayhell123 · 19/06/2023 19:58

Thank you @Whatser thinking about it i think they’re jsut getting incredibly
over stimulated…. kids club has been running on and off but 7 year old
thinks they’re too old for it, 5 year old goes
when it runs but it hasn’t run every day…and it’s only 1.5 hours- husband has offered to take baby tomorrow whilst they’re in kids club.

Thanks everyone i just feel fraught constantly! Like i’m constantly putting out fires everywhere or having to guess where the next problem is going to be- quite an anxious person so that probably doesn’t help… Elder two can swim ok and 1 year old in a life vest but have never had a child like it- he’s been able to walk since 10 months old and just is constantly climbing, running, jumping, whatever, cannot be contained at all or distracted for more than a minute so it’s either just running full throttle into the
pool or slipping over on the side if we’re anywhere near the pool
basically! Everyone said this holiday was a great idea but i feel like we’re going to need an adults only holiday after!

OP posts:
Funkyslippers · 19/06/2023 19:58

Mine don't exactly have a personality change but I've learned that it's the same shit in a different country. They still argue all the time and DD2's bad attitude is the same as it is at home. My two even argue on Christmas Day when they literally have fuck all to argue about. I disagree with the PPS that say that's why they only have 1 child. Not at all helpful

Original poster
holidayhell123 · 19/06/2023 19:59

the only reason i booked is because they said there was a baby crèche and when we arrived they said an adult needed to stay with! what’s the point in that?!

OP posts:
Goldbar · 19/06/2023 20:01

Kids club for oldest two. At the stage you're at, I'm afraid I'd be saying well there's only ice cream for children who go to the kids club. Then share the time with the baby so you both get a break. I'd also be allowing tablets/other electronic devices at mealtimes (with headphones of course!) but then I'm a dreadful parent who prefers to eat my food hot sometimes to endless retrieving of colouring pencils and rounds of uno or snap.

NatMoz · 19/06/2023 20:01

holidayhell123 · 19/06/2023 19:59

the only reason i booked is because they said there was a baby crèche and when we arrived they said an adult needed to stay with! what’s the point in that?!

If you did it again, IKOS have a crèche for under 4s and you can leave them.

SavvyWavvy · 19/06/2023 20:02

Piglet89 · 19/06/2023 19:47

I thought I’d get fucking crucified for the one and done bit but apparently others feel similar! Glad I’m not alone!

Another smug parent of one here!

hellsbells99 · 19/06/2023 20:02

When the kids were young (2 DDs), I always preferred our own villa/house so you can have lots of space in your own quieter environment with a shared communal pool facility. Then we could take them out in the evening when we wanted in pushchairs and eat outside somewhere or have a bbq back at the villa. I think hotels and the AI holidays tend to be too lively and make them hyper.