To ask for help with 3 kids on holiday?!

[holidayhell123]

I know this is going to sound incredibly privileged due to cost of living etc. but I am currently on holiday at an All Inclusive and I just want to go home!

It was supposed to be a relaxing break with our 3 kids (7,5,1) and instead it’s just actual hell. If i’m not spending the day asking the two eldest to stop doing something incredibly dangerous/stupid then i’m trying to stop the 1 year old from sprinting off into the water that is way over their depth. The 7 year old constantly wanders off as soon as your back is turned and the 5 year old whines the entire time. None of them sleep and i am just so exhausted! Husband is fantastic and really hands on but this holiday just feels never ending- we’ve been here a week and we are supposed to be going somewhere else before home, but instead i’m looking at flights back tomorrow!

I just feel like my children have turned feral and i’ve spent the entire holiday shouting at them! Anyone else find their kids have a personality change on holiday?! I don’t expect to be able to sit back and read a book i just want five minutes of no one tantrumming or sulking or disappearing! It feels like more work to be here than to just stay at home!

It was supposed to be a relaxing break with our 3 kids (7,5,1)

Really?? How could it possibly be relaxing? You have three young kids!

My youngest is now 12 and last year we had the first relaxing holiday in 25 yrs (my oldest is 25).

You are constantly on the go with kids on holiday, that’s just how it is.

Cross-post. I'm sorry that the kids club has let you down.

I agree divide and conquer is your only way forward here. One parent supervises the baby, one parent looks after the other two. Older two take turns choosing what to do. Sulkers/runners are threatened with having ice cream privileges removed.

But why are you tolerating your 7yo behaviour? I have a 7yo and he wouldn't do that. He's well old enough to listen.

Not everyone’s kids are feral on holiday.

Mine are great. I love holidaying with them all.

This is why I only book resorts with really high quality kids clubs up to age 12 with age appropriate groupings and which run all day (broken up into chunks - never left the kids there all day!). When the dc were too young and/or in the evening we’d pay for a resort babysitter.

can you book a nanny through the hotel?

in future try booking through Scott Dunn : they are all about the kids clubs!!

Yeah @holidayhell123 our only child (nearly 4 now) was like your youngest - and that, being honest, is why he’s an only.

I basically had a breakdown in the middle of the pandemic dealing with his high octane energy and now I don’t want any more kids. 😂

we are currently in an all inclusive with kids’ club and I still need eyes in the back of my head. He never ever stops and still has to be reminded multiple times a day about his walking feet. But he’s incredibly sociable and confident. He’ll either be some kind of successful leader or a felon; our parenting will play a big part in determining that, so stakes are high.

in the meantime, kids’ club is a godsend and he loves it as long as he gets to jump repeatedly into the pool when he’s not there, so we just get on board with that.

I have told them off multiple times, it’s where a lot of my shouting has happened because half the time it’s not even been clear where she’s wandered off too, it’s just like she’s thought something looked cool and gone off to it forgetting to even tell us- at home they listen and do as they’re told, my husband is french and they go to a French school (pretty strict)- they do exactly as they are told back home, but for some reason here it seems like a free for all- and if i threaten/follow through its met with a shrug and a whine for the entire day!

Also wasn’t expecting a relaxing holiday, just a break from the cooking/cleaning-
previously we have gone to villas or
apartments and i think that probably is just better suited to us… i just look round the pool and feel envious of all the families who
seem to be loving every minute!

My personal tip is I always centre my holiday round DS. I've literally sat in kids club (Carribean) and watched him play. I've done hotels that are "Splashworlds".

Have the kids got a splash park to keep them busy?

Kids need to nap or rest in the hotel room watching TV. The water and heat is a really long day.

A 2 week holiday is really long with a 1 year old baby too. Personally I would have just done 1 week in Spain or Portugal.

The kids have got too much choice. Dad needs to take the eldest 2 kids and sit and join in activities if needs be at kids club

Mum needs to stay with the baby and then they can swop the next day.

I love the idea of an all inclusive but the thought of only having a room to relax in puts me off and we only have 1 child!

I think self catering villa is easier as you can have downtime with more space for you all. I'd save to be able to eat out most nights still and just do bread/cheese etc for lunch. Doesn't help you right now I know but I'm just pontificating around the subject.

(Also @Piglet89 I agree too!)

gosh all the smug parents of 1 - having 1 is actually my idea of hell compared to having 3. Each to their own!.
OP, you need to use the kids club, put arm bands on everyone and put them in the pool, divide and conquer with your partner and also take turns watching all 3 so both of you get a lovely break to read a book or whatever.
make a plan rather than firefighting

You have to change your expectations of what a holiday looks like when you have kids.

Yep, so happy I stuck to just one 😂

Both of mine were incredibly energetic at age 1 if that’s any help! For me, it’s the hardest age - they are into something and injuring themselves every minute you look away.

Eldest in particular- she is extremely academic if that is any comfort!

We went on holiday to Italy when she was 18 months and my main memory is of Italians laughing that she had “a very big battery”.

Is there a half decent beach you can go to? Kids love playing in sand, digging, making castles, moats, burying their dad, finding shells, investigating rock pools, making pebble collections, paddling, filling buckets of water. This is why British seaside holidays are the best for kids, there is so much to amuse them, resort holidays are designed for adults, not children.

With greatest respect… holidays with kids are just not relaxing! I have 1 (and kind of feel smug about it some days, but equally the mum guilt that she doesn’t have a sibling is real so I can never really win). DD is 6.5 now and it’s only just getting to be fun/interesting on holiday. Until she was about 5 we would only do trips to visit people and stay in an air bnb so she could have her own room and routine. We’ve not done a beach/pool holiday though, just city breaks.

@PlasticineKing I think its the type of holiday people are booking it's not the number of kids. Because OP has a partner so it defo shouldn't be this hard.

A city break would be my worst night mare especially with and only. I think its more of an adult vibe that I would love to do. I wouldn't expect a child to enjoy a city break hol.

I have absolutely been there! In fact, several holidays with our three have felt like significantly more work than being at home - it’s unfamiliar, kids are tired and hot and overstimulated, husband is grumpy because of kids and I am left thinking why the hell have we paid money for this when we could have just stayed home.

HOWEVER, this is where I have now got to:

1. definitely try to force use of the kids club, see if you can find another 7 yo around the pool who goes so yours has a friend - I find that helps as mine always seem so reluctant to do the club but I think I need to make it less optional!
2. its ok to have time just in your room with kids watching a movie or napping or whatever while you read a book (or leave your DH in the room and go out for a stroll etc). I used to take the youngest out in the buggy to get him to sleep while the others had a “siesta” of either reading or watching something on an iPad in the air conditioning which did help them be less feral later!
3. dont try to do everything. If just one kid wants to do something the other parent has to juggle 2 kids which is hard. So, do what you need to. I used to pop back to the room all the time to just give us a bit of a break and let the little one roam free for a second without me worrying he was going to drown

Same! And even then I fine it really hard work at times 🫣 luckily for me he likes kids clubs so I get a break from nagging/wanting/doing dangerous things

It was supposed to be a relaxing break with our 3 kids (7,5,1)

What part of this sounds relaxing!? Holidays can be great with kids but relaxing would not have entered the top 1000 words I’d use to describe a holiday with 3 kids, including a toddler! I don’t think you are doing anything wrong OP, I just think your expectations were wayyyy off!

Honestly I think some holidays for whatever reason just don’t work. We had a horrendous holiday a few years ago - the children did not stop arguing, refused to play, would not entertain themselves and whined constantly unless we were actually doing something with them (I really enjoy doing stuff with my children but at the ages of 10 and 7 I expected a little bit of down time). I think they were just over excited and i had set great expectations for this holiday and it failed. I cried the whole way home.
The following year (in an all inclusive funnily
enough) we set strict expectations about behaviors before we went and told them that we would have lots of pool time, card games etc but that they also needed to look after themselves a bit. And they did.

we had a crap holiday another time when I was pregnant with DC2 and DC1 was a very demanding toddler who refused to go in the pool on our holiday to Croatia. In July.

I think sometimes that just the way it goes.

Im sure the change in scenery will help and your last few days will go well.
good luck 🍀

I feel your pain. Just came back from turkey with a 2 & 4 yo. Wasn't worth the stress or the money... my kids are happier in the garden with a sandpit and paddling pool. Just try and enjoy it... at least you don't have to do any housework for a while. That's how I got through it.

You know, I have three, about to have a fourth. The first three are older -12,10 and 9. There's a lot of smug 'glad I only had one' stuff on here. Personally I am glad that my lot always have each other to hang out with. Hang in there OP, it will get easier as they get older.

@Butterwouldmelt I think the OPs expectations were high. Three kids in the heat, different ages and needs, out of routines. None of that sounds relaxing to me. It’s probably the age range of the kids that hasn’t helped. Maybe the 7 and 5 year old would have been easier without the 1yo? Not that OP can undo having a 1 year old! But as I said, we just didn’t bother with any kind of “holiday” until DD was much older. Because it’s not a holiday, it’s the same parenting and day to day crap but in a place where you don’t have all your stuff and everything feels harder. It’s that “enjoy every moment” mantra that we get forced on us. I can’t enjoy every moment, because plenty of the moments in my life are bloody shite 😂

FWIW, my DD loves a city holiday but we've never taken her on a pool holiday - my husband would be a nightmare! I’d rather have a pool holiday with a friend than DD+/-DH!

Just grin and bear it op you will soon be home but for future reference holidays with kids will never be relaxing it will always be the same shit but in a different place without your familiar home comforts. Yeah you might get the odd fun hour or two but overall many small children like routine and taking them away from everything they know will unsettle them and they kick off.