To ask for help with 3 kids on holiday?!

[holidayhell123]

I know this is going to sound incredibly privileged due to cost of living etc. but I am currently on holiday at an All Inclusive and I just want to go home!

It was supposed to be a relaxing break with our 3 kids (7,5,1) and instead it’s just actual hell. If i’m not spending the day asking the two eldest to stop doing something incredibly dangerous/stupid then i’m trying to stop the 1 year old from sprinting off into the water that is way over their depth. The 7 year old constantly wanders off as soon as your back is turned and the 5 year old whines the entire time. None of them sleep and i am just so exhausted! Husband is fantastic and really hands on but this holiday just feels never ending- we’ve been here a week and we are supposed to be going somewhere else before home, but instead i’m looking at flights back tomorrow!

I just feel like my children have turned feral and i’ve spent the entire holiday shouting at them! Anyone else find their kids have a personality change on holiday?! I don’t expect to be able to sit back and read a book i just want five minutes of no one tantrumming or sulking or disappearing! It feels like more work to be here than to just stay at home!

I didn’t take my kids abroad until the youngest was 9. Before that it was easier, just as fun and cheaper to stay in the U.K.

hope you mange a more relaxing day tomorrow.

I think kids on holiday- lower your expectations, it’s never going to be relaxing like pre kids, it’s looking after your kids in another location.
however my husband and I each get an afternoon to ourselves on holiday, much easier with 2 kids that 3 to be honest, but we do that

The best holiday with children I have had is when I planned boring simple things. Is there a park nearby to get them tried? Then afterwards, have a shower and afternoon nap. Followed by another quick exploration of the city/ activities. If you guys oversleep and miss lunchtime, it is ok. Go to a restaurant.

Dsis took ds and nephew, she was running herself ragged until I reminded her they are under 10 and would be very pleased with a nice afternoon in a cinema. They are older than your dc, but don't put to much pressure on your self.

The most important thing is safety, then it is doing activities you all would enjoy. Sightseeing is not very enjoyable for young children, my cousin paid entry to a park just so the children could run around in a safe green area. Yes, it had a funfair section but she went there to relax with her young children who made friends. While she watched from a bench happy.

Holidays are just childcare in a different location. No rest for parents, not while they're young! (Am on holiday at the moment, exhausted.)

I loved holidays with my three. They are close in age and mostly wanted to do the same things. It wasn't relaxing but it was huge fun. Not everybody finds holidays a terrible experience!

Thank you everyone! i sent the eldest two
to kids club and the baby napped all morning… am pmsing like anything at the moment hence i think the little breakdown yesterday! Feeling much better after a good sleep, eldest two have now found friends so am hoping the rest of the holiday will slightly redeem itself! Also most of my friends who have 1 say they spend their whole holiday having to entertain them so i’d say there’s downsides to all at times! :)

Yep, no regrets!

Also, I didn't take any proper holidays before an age I could supervise from a distance, ie, me at the edge of the kids pool sunbathing while he played in it

@holidayhell123 it is absolutely true: definitely downsides too to having an only. Like many things in parenting - feeding, sleeping and more - there’s no way really to “win” and you just do your best!

glad your holiday has improved and hope it continues to do so. 😃 ☀️

Can anyone explain why having multiple kids is easier than just one? I get that they can play together, but it's a fact that many siblings argue, and I couldn't imagine having to cater to every child's different needs/nap times/preferences, and keeping a watchful eye on them at all times. My 8 year old niece is an only child and she has a great relationship with her parents, she's always on play dates with friends and enjoys kids club whenever they go on holiday. She's also good at entertaining herself, and likes to read, draw etc. I'm hoping my son will be the same when he grows up.

Another smug person here, but that's because I have three who get on really well with each other, especially on holiday. Holiday clubs worked well, because there were always at least two other kids there they were happy to be with.

Just bring them up to respect each other and to not argue with each other. They might be exasperated with each other from time to time, but mine don't argue or fall out with each other.

@Hillarious I don't think it's about being smug. People have different capabilities. I only have one son and I have no desire to have more kids because I know I couldn't cope, either mentally, financially, physically...plus it would put an even greater burden on an already fragile marriage. When I read stories like this, I'm confident I made the right decision for myself. There's no way I could take three kids, including a toddler, on a holiday abroad. I still get nervous taking my three year old out in public or to the playground. But I know many women who are great mums to two or more children and they don't struggle, or they have better coping mechanisms/have more support from family etc. Everyone is different.

We didn't go abroad until DS was 5. Mainly because we were too broke but it worked out well agewise. And because it was just one, we could tag team and I actually got to read a few books on that holiday.

Absolutely. Having just the one child doesn't warrant smugness for life being simple and manageable.

And every child different too, some kids are just much easier than others. Another thread about coping with 2 under 2 saying it was a breeze, yes you would say that if your babies sleep through the night, nap and don’t throw tantrums. I’ve had that child but I’ve also had the completely opposite and the experience of parenting is like chalk and cheese

I'm part of the 'One and Done' club and love it!!

I travel loads with my little one and love it. I couldn't imagine three...

Really pleased you had a better day today op.

I love having three, on holiday they all play together (and at home, no one ever gets bored!!). Smug mum of 3 here 😉.

Glad you’ve had a better day OP.

I’m sure they do, but it’s still a bit smug and not that helpful for this thread. There are many reasons to have an only, and vice versa. It doesn’t mean there won’t be some downsides.

I wonder if there might be a time when you or your child wishes dearly that they had a sibling?

I hope no one comes along and says “This is why I didn’t have an only child” because that wouldn’t be helpful, would it?

Glad it improved for you OP!

Sounds a good morning.

I agree no right or wrong way re having one child or more than one - neither necessarily easier. I have two but there is a big gap (second took a whilst after we decided we were ready to try again) and add to that the different sexes, different personalities they don’t play together much. They get on better on holiday when there’s no other choice.

I took mine on my own for the first time at those ages and it was amazing, I am gutted for you that you aren't enjoying it.

Does the smallest nap in the day? Can you and DH do shifts, one entertains the baby and the other takes the older two, an hour doing what the younger one wants and an hour doing what the older one wants.

Gosh why are you asking this? Some people have 1 child and they are utterly hard bloody work. Whatever the reasons are for whatever number of kids it is not relevant to OP FGS.

This thread is bloody ridiculous and I'm an mum to and only but I'm cringing.

DS isn't an easy child however that is not the reason why he is its because me and his dad split up.

Christ I've read some threads in my time. I would enjoy your hol OP and hide this thread! 🍸 🍸 🍸

@Mumsday you clearly haven’t read the full thread; I accepted upthread that there are advantages to children having siblings.

I think it’s generally accepted that having another child just because an existing one wants a sibling isn’t the best life choice, if it doesn’t work for the parents.

You’ve no idea of the challenges that led to our decision to have only one child.

Wind your neck in.

Well said.

Surely the older two are at ages where they understand what is/isn't acceptable? Admittedly I've only got two, but we've always holidayed abroad since they were tiny, and yes, it's harder work when they're babies and toddlers, but since they were over 1 and a half, it's been really enjoyable, and now they're 8 & 6, they let us relax alot and just entertain themselves for the main part. I understand this isn't possible with a 3rd who's only 1, but you should be able to take turns entertaining the baby, and the older two really shouldn't be causing you so much grief.