I am planning to leave DH. I have been reading threads about divorce etc.
Is 5050 really the starting point these days? I do most of everything for the kids but he's a fairly responsible type who loves his kids (albeit he's a grumpy dad type who ducks the hard stuff but guess that's because I step up).
Kids are young (pre school and early primary).
Is it fair to fight 5050 as its just for fair on the kids? I just dont agree with 5050. I would hate to live in 2 homes. They say its what best for the kids but isn't 5050 to keep the parents happy really?
My close family tell me 5050 is rare but not according to MN.
I want to fight 5050 but is that unfair? Is there even any point? I don't know if I can go through with it if that us the reality of the situation
AIBU?
To fight 5050 custody?
TrucksTrains · 19/06/2023 08:18
Am I being unreasonable?
263 votes. Final results.
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Salvadoral · 19/06/2023 08:37
50/50 is best for the children.
It isn’t always best at all. Of the (many) families I know who share custody, there is a minority for whom this works well; for many children it’s deeply unsettling and destabilizing. For 50/50 to work, both parents need to be on friendly/respectful terms and be mature enough to put the children’s interests first at all times, which all too often isn’t the case. Family courts are deeply misogynistic and it’s naive to think custody arrangements are always made with the children’s best interests at heart.
OP, if he wants 50/50 (and presuming there’s no history of abuse, addiction, etc) he will very likely get it.
TrucksTrains · 19/06/2023 08:42
It's nothing to do with money or maintenance. I may end up paying him spousal support but the money isn't a factor in my thinking
Just my kids are v dependent on me. Co sleeping sometimes still. And DH isn't v good at day to day parenting and gets irritable with them and also does NO admin for them...
Its just a funny thing to say they're prioritising what is best for the kids and yet I'm told that unless there is abuse its 5050 as standard despite him ducking out of so much up to now.
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