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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP saying they wouldn't have done this

61 replies

Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 07:55

I took my DS to a trampoline park for a party on Friday. It was 2 hours. Checked him in made sure he was OK. I know the host of the party well and he was fine. They are 7 year olds. It wasn't busy in the place and they pretty much had the place to themselves. As the party took place over dinner Time, me and some of the other parents went a couple of doors door to have food until the party was over. The host had said drop off at this time pick up at this time.
Picked DS up he was great, had a fab time.
Saw my DP the next day and explain the evening etc. DP said oh well I wouldn't have done that and left DS alone. Made out it was bad parenting for me to have left DS.

AIBU to have left him to go a couple of doors door to eat?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 19/06/2023 07:57

Of course you can leave him in the care of another parent who, presumably, has your contact number for emergencies.

Scousefab · 19/06/2023 08:00

They are usually in a safe secure environment. I have let my DD go on her own with the party host and just asked a few parents to keep an eye out on her. If you weren’t far away I don’t see any issue. My DP is over the top too, I probably wouldn’t mention anything to him in future. Next time he can go to the party can’t he if he thinks he knows best!

Riverlee · 19/06/2023 08:02

My eldest dc’s birthday is just before Christmas. Parents loved dropping their dc off because they had two hours child free time to Christmas shop etc.

Riverlee · 19/06/2023 08:03

And sounds a lovely idea to have lunch.

ChadCMulligan · 19/06/2023 08:30

The host knew where you were, you were contactable, your child was in a secure location with an adult you trust.

I feel a little bit sorry for the host knowing everyone else was having fun while they had a party to manage - but that's just life

underneaththeash · 19/06/2023 08:33

He's 7!

If you didn't see your DP until the following day, I assume he's just a boyfriend and not your son's dad. If so, tell him to mind his own business.

Hugasauras · 19/06/2023 08:34

If it's a drop and run party then what else are you meant to do?! Presumably the venue doesn't want 10 parents hanging around if it was made clear it

Hugasauras · 19/06/2023 08:34

*it was a drop off and pick up later party, so why would you stay unless requested?

Rubychews · 19/06/2023 08:35

He has no clue.

ThursdayFreedom · 19/06/2023 08:38

Totally fine. Also fine if you'd gone home.

mat lesst as he's (I'm assuming) DS's Dad you don't need to agree about it, just take note of what you'd be dealing with if you were to have a child with him! (I'd be doubling up on contraception & thinking about if this relationship has legs!)

Sapphire387 · 19/06/2023 08:42

Is your DP your DS' dad / does he have any kids? He sounds clueless. What you did is perfectly normal.

CurlewKate · 19/06/2023 08:47

Did you ask him what he thought was going to happen?

PlumOwlSuki · 19/06/2023 08:57

If he's not the child's parent (which your post suggests) why are you even doubting your position as the parent? Does he undermine you like this in other ways ?

ArcticSkewer · 19/06/2023 09:00

Does this partner of yours have kids? Know anything about how these kinds of parties work? Perhaps have issues with control/anxiety or undermining you?

You just behaved as most other parents do at a trampoline party. Drop and run. Parents have your contact details. You're nearby if needed. Job done.

neverbeenskiing · 19/06/2023 09:04

If it was made clear by the hosts that this was a 'drop off and pick up' party then this is a complete non issue. At 7 the majority of kids don't need a parent to hang around at a party.

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 19/06/2023 09:05

What does a couple of doors door mean?

not unreasonable tho, dp seems a bit of a drama queen

Original poster
Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 09:12

PlumOwlSuki · 19/06/2023 08:57

If he's not the child's parent (which your post suggests) why are you even doubting your position as the parent? Does he undermine you like this in other ways ?

To confirm he's not DS dad and we don't live together. He does had a child of his own.
Yes I've had quite a few judgemental comments over the years. There was one last year where he called me a bad parent for taking DS out of school and sitting in a cool cinema when the temp was 40 degree heat. That one particularly hurt and made me feel rubbish

OP posts:
Original poster
Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 09:13

neverbeenskiing · 19/06/2023 09:04

If it was made clear by the hosts that this was a 'drop off and pick up' party then this is a complete non issue. At 7 the majority of kids don't need a parent to hang around at a party.

I think it's a non issue too however DP has made a thing and tried to make me feel bad with my parenting

OP posts:
SnapPop · 19/06/2023 09:17

Of course YANBU. You could have driven off miles away in this situation, let alone a few doors down!

Leaving aside this particular situation, if he makes you feel like a shit parent and a bad person, think carefully if this is a relationship you want to be in.

Original poster
Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 09:18

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 19/06/2023 09:05

What does a couple of doors door mean?

not unreasonable tho, dp seems a bit of a drama queen

It's like a entertainment complex type thing. So cinema, restaurants, bowling etc. It's not huge so I was literally a couple of doors down to where DS was

OP posts:
neverbeenskiing · 19/06/2023 09:18

Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 09:13

I think it's a non issue too however DP has made a thing and tried to make me feel bad with my parenting

Show quote history

He's being ridiculous. Does he put you down and try to make you feel insecure about other things too?

sparkleice · 19/06/2023 09:18

Fruittwist12 · 19/06/2023 09:13

I think it's a non issue too however DP has made a thing and tried to make me feel bad with my parenting

Show quote history

And you're with him why? Sounds like a prince! Don't you deserve better?

Judegmental arsehole

Please tell us you are either celibate or on 12 kinds of birth control

Quiverer · 19/06/2023 09:19

Why are you with someone who regularly tries to make you feel bad and put you down?

determinedtomakethiswork · 19/06/2023 09:21

It must be horrible to be dating someone who is so judgemental. And so stupid as well actually.

BPDprincess · 19/06/2023 09:22

I reckon you're all MASSIVELY over-reacting.

Saying "I wouldn't have done that" is just giving an opinion on something. It's called conversation, it's not putting someone down.

Unless this guy is unkind and CONSTANTLY making comments then I really don't see why everyone is jumping on the 'why are you with him' wagon.

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