To be a bit miffed that he took the toys?

[MiniMileaway]

BF spends a lot of time at my house, even when he has his DS EOW.
That’s fine - his DS and my kids get on well and we have a lovely time together, so much so that I invested in a toy box for my living room for DS to keep some things in so that he has toys to play with / things to do when he’s here.
When it came to going back to his mum’s tonight, though, BF let his DS pack up a lot of the toys and take them with him AIBU to be annoyed?

Yes it would annoy me too because the likelihood of them coming back is low and then you will have to purchase more and it will become a recurring thing

I would just be clear to your DP - “hi DP are you bringing DSS here this weekend? If so, make sure you bring some toys for him to play with as he took the toys back last time and there’s nothing for him to play with now.” If he suggests dss can share your dcs things say no, you thought you’d been clear they don’t want to share their things which is why you bought a set of toys for dss to play with when here. As DP let him take the toys away with him, it’s it down ti DP to ensure there’s things for DSS to play with next time he’s at yours.

Ok, so any child that comes through your door can just help themselves ? Should the OP replace the toys every other weekend ?

OP said BF let his DS pack up a lot of the toys and take them with him, including at least one other, unopened set. A bit different from, say, being halfway through solving a puzzle or whatever, and asking nicely to borrow it and bring it back next week.

The reason I mentioned borrowing is to show that you can even have flexibility in there if you want, while still having no difficulty understanding that just taking away a load of the stuff you've been invited to enjoy while visiting, without even asking, is unacceptable.

Since you wanted an adult parallel involving books, I gave you one that actually happens.

What does dp do about toys at his house? Does he send them all home? I don’t like when kids can’t bring a toy between houses. That was the way it was with my dss and I never liked it. If things went back to his mums though it never returned, and he was never allowed to bring stuff to ours. Ideally it should be their stuff to bring where they please though. However a box of stuff to play at your house is very different than one toy that’s a present that he can bring home and back again.

Don't let him move in with you, he sounds like a right freeloader

The boyfriend and his son are visitors to your house - you've been very considerate to provide his son with something to do while he is there. But this is not their house and they shouldn't have taken stuff out of it without asking. Going between parents' houses is different and toys/clothes might be more transferable - that's up to them. It seems like your home is gradually becoming their home without any sort of discussion or boundaries being put in. If you don't want this, it's time to speak up.

How long have you been with partner?

How much does partner have his child?

If 50/50 or close enough fair enough but if it's something like every other weekend - If he has his own home why is step kiddo staying at yours? This is time for child and father not child to get board while father has a relationship and dads gf realising kid board and getting toys.

For that matter if they are at your enough for you to see a need for toys why has the father not seen this?

Re the toys I think YANBU. Toys can be for just one house as long as the child has the freedom to take favourites back and forth. But it sounds like he took quite a few so that's not the case here.

It’s really common for people who often have children visiting ( friend's kids , nieces and nephews , grandchildren ) to have a box of toys that they bring out when kids visit. These toys belong to the house, not to any visiting children who want to take them away with them.

I don’t understand why the Ops visitors don’t understand this common custom. Fair enough if the child was 3 , he would need it explained. But not at 8. I assume the child goes on play dates to his friends homes and doesn’t load up a bag of their toys when he leaves?

Your Bf is out of order @MiniMileaway