To be upset that DH bought DS's birthday gift early

[Nerd3]

Our DS will be 2 in August. He is obsessed with bikes whenever he sees one, so we thought it would be a great idea to get him a balance bike as a birthday gift. I also wanted to get him a helmet at the same time so he knows from the beginning that you ride only with the helmet on.
This morning DH took DS to the shop, let him try on different bikes and just got him one while they were there, so obviously it's no surprise now and he is using it already.

AIBU to be upset about this? I was really looking forward to do it as a birthday surprise and seeing his reaction and do the unpacking and first rides together.

I understand you're disappointed, but don't sweat the small stuff.

Sounds like he had a lovely morning with his dad, and he's enjoying his new bike, which is the main thing.

I'm sure he will have a lovely birthday in August and will be delighted with whatever you get him.

That would annoy me no end. To me big gifts given early (and this is very early) take all the magic out of the day.

It would be a non-issue for me.

But it's perfect weather for cycling

I'd have bought it early too

You're being a bit weird about it

But it’s coming into summer so now is the best time to get it because he’ll be able to use it all summer and get the wear out of it before it gets too cold and wet to get out all the time to use it. Get him something smaller for his birthday. He’s 2. He won’t care what he gets.

I'd be upset at the unilateral decision making. I would explain that aspect to him rather than the specifics of this situation. Birthday presents are traditionally given on the day. As ds is 2 it's not a massive deal in reality. But your dh shouldn't get to make that decision on the spur of the moment by himself! It's not like choosing what clothes to put him in..

It's annoying that he did it without consulting you but I think the decision is a good one- this way your son will have a whole summer enjoying the bike. I know as an adult we see birthdays as the occasion for a big present but there's no need to do it like that and a 2yo certainly doesn't see it that way- he'll love his birthday and whatever you give him then (even if it's a smaller gift) and be excited anyway. It would be a shame to let your hopes of a perfect birthday with a perfect present mean you delay something he's enjoying so much now. And you may well find he has a new passion by August.

Yabu

That's fine but he needs to think of something else for his birthday. Children that young don't get the concept and will be upset not having something to open on the day.

At 2 he still won’t really understand birthdays or whether a gift is a “big” gift. For his actual birthday you could buy him a new pack of crayons and some bubble bath and he will think they are the best things ever - because he is 2.
This is the perfect time of year for a bike so it makes sense to get one now.

I understand why you’re upset, but as he’s only 2 I think you’ve got plenty of time to have this ‘moment’ again, with the first pedal bike. He’ll still enjoy his birthday, whatever he gets to unwrap, because he’s 2. When he’s a bit older he’ll remember the ‘big bike reveal’ in a way he won’t do for this one. So just try to reframe it and tell your DH that next time it needs to be done proper.

Presumably he bought him a helmet? If not, fix that quick!

Thanks all, so just an update, he's pranked me! He's sent me photos and videos from the shop with the ds riding it and that he's bought it.. Now they are back and it turns out he didn't as he knew I'd be livid 😅
Your comments made me think though we may actually want to buy it early to get most use out of it in summer!

@@Nerd3 send him back to get it - this is the best time of year for a bike 🙂

Nonsense. He's only two. He'll have a great day with just a cake and people singing.

Oh FFS.

I think that's really unkind to both you and DS. Much worse than getting the bike early.

That's awful

Yes. I think it shows a pathetic lack of emotional intelligence that your husband couldn’t wait until August. It’s very childish of him. Why on earth did he take him today?

I had a friend whose mother was ludicrously childish and couldn’t wait until Christmas and would be getting the loss to unwrap presents in the days up to Christmas, so come Christmas morning they had nothing left and felt deflated. My friend absolutely hated it. She wound up trying to assume the adult role. Learning to wait is important.

Not only that, you’ll wind up having to fork out more money as you’ll pribebly have to give him something else on his actual birthday.

Getting the kids*

Oh I hadn’t refreshed the thread 🙄🙄🙄

poor child. what a horrible thing for a dad to do.

Eh I'd be really pissed off about that. Buying the bike early wouldn't have bothered me too much, although I'd have preferred that he'd given me the option of going too, but this feels mean to you and the kid...

Prank? 😡

I wouldn't find this funny at all.

Also agree with the others - send him back to buy it now, this is the time to use a bike. And tell him to grow up as thar was a really shitty thing to do.

Im happy to give gifts, such as bikes, through the year as needed. I think they are a necessity rather than a nice to have. One of my dc has a birthday at the end of November. A bike is a rubbish gift then as it’s wet/ cold/ icy for the next 3-4 months. Better to do it at the start of summer when it will be fun.

I don’t do massive piles of presents for birthdays or Christmas. One big ticket item, book , something to wear. If children want additional stuff they can do chores. Clean the car, load dishwasher, hoover for a quid or two. Motivated children can easily earn enough to keep themselves in tat/ robucks etc

It's fathers day he might have wanted a father and son moment.Just get him something else for his birthday