To be upset that DH bought DS's birthday gift early

[Nerd3]

Our DS will be 2 in August. He is obsessed with bikes whenever he sees one, so we thought it would be a great idea to get him a balance bike as a birthday gift. I also wanted to get him a helmet at the same time so he knows from the beginning that you ride only with the helmet on.
This morning DH took DS to the shop, let him try on different bikes and just got him one while they were there, so obviously it's no surprise now and he is using it already.

AIBU to be upset about this? I was really looking forward to do it as a birthday surprise and seeing his reaction and do the unpacking and first rides together.

I don't see anything horrible in going to the shop to look at the bikes and try them. DS was never on a balance bike so it was a good thing to do as now we are sure he's ready for it. He wasn't upset when coming home without it.

The prank designed to upset you is what is horrible (and pathetically immature).

He pretended he'd bought it & given it to DS, knowing this would upset you. That's the horrible bit.

I think it will be better for him to have the bike now and be able to use it over the summer!

You're both as bad as each other. YABU for getting upset over it, he's only 2. He is also just as bad for doing the prank.

I would buy it and wrap it up now with a bow. He doesn't know its his birthday at 2 so you would still get the reaction but also the weather for him to enjoy it

Great! So go back altogether and bring it home, or one of you buy it and then give it to him together. With helmet. So that he can enjoy it all summer.

Yes get the bike now so he can use it for the whole summer

Sometimes with v young kids I think it's best to give them that stuff when they actually are going to use it rather than waiting, particularly as some stuff doesn't last that long. Especially with stuff that would be good to use in the better weather!

Maybe on DS birthday you can all go on a bike ride somewhere different to usual with a treat at a cafe or restaurant

I’d be delighted DH took the initiative and that he paid ! Seriously, it’s a lovely thing to do . You can say - next time please wait for me so we can choose together. But don’t be annoyed about this . It’s a lovely gesture .

None of that happened.

It’s a bit much that you created a thread complaining that he was already using the bike and you’d missed out on first rides together… when they weren’t even home from the shop yet. Drama llama.

DS2 has just turned 2 this week. He hasn't got a scooby doo what a birthday is. He doesn't understand the concept of "it's my birthday, I get presents and cake". He just had new toys that happened to be wrapped in paper before he could play with them.

Get him the bike, make the most of the weather - it'll make no difference to him whether it's the 19/6 or the ??/8 his birthday actually falls on.

People can be so rude on here, it’s supposed to be a support group 🤦🏻‍♀️

it’s supposed to be a support group

Where did you get that idea? 😂

This is 'am I being unreasonable' on a massive talk forum. It's not the place for gentle tailored support. That's why there are different sections.

She wanted to know if she was being unreasonable.

Rubbish! Children that age barely understand birthdays or presents

I don't think your DH WBU for wanting to buy it early, so DS could use it over summer. I do however think he was WBVU for doing it unilaterally

You’re in the wrong place. The bereavement, miscarriage, health etc sub-boards, sure. But you’ve really misunderstood AIBU if you think it’s similar.

I agree with those who've said, think about having it through the summer (depends a bit when in August his birthday is I guess). Years ago I wanted to get my daughter her first bicycle in the summer before she turned 5. Her father insisted it was better as a birthday present - in October. Learning to ride didn't happen until the following summer. (Admittedly, we didn't grow up in the UK, rather somewhere where learning to ride a bike would indeed happen at any time of year!)

This. Why wait till summer is nearly over?

August is such an awkward month for gifts better suited to summer. Just go out as a family and buy the bike and helmet now. Your son is two, he won’t know the difference whether he gets it now or on his birthday, and he gets the best use of it over summer. By next summer he’ll be needing a proper bike not a balance bike.

Why DH thought it was a good idea to prank you, I don’t know. But this is one of those situations where you just have to learn to pick your battles. Your child is two, there’s another 18+ years of you and your husband potentially not agreeing on parenting matters and the teenage arguments/dilemmas to look forward to too. Say your husband had bought the bike, no not fair but in the grand scheme of things not a massive deal. In three years you’d look back on it wondering why you ever got upset. Save that for when your husband comes home with a non-previously-discussed dog/iguana/basketball hoop/drum kit 😉

What a twat!

Why not just say that he loved the bike & he might as well have it now for the Summer?

No it isn’t… who would create a support group called am I being unreasonable?

Well it did . So clearly you are bonkers !