Wanting parents to sell home

[bctf123]

I think this is a topic that splits many people down the middle.
My parents house is worth about 400k when the average in the area is 200k or less. Over the years it's needed a lot of maintenance and cost a lot in renovation. Now they need to extend the bungalow for space. The roof needs doing and lots of other things around the house which would in total add upto around 100k

I just feel it's a complete waste of money and hassle. They can't keep the house clean. The large garden is now concreted and used for an annual bbq only and I think it's all just a status symbol
By freeing up 200k for a ready to move in house I feel like it would ease the financial situation, allow for a reduction in working hours and would allow an investment in property or to help their children with a loan

I know all parents think differently so interested to know how people fall on this?
From afar it can look like children begrudging parents their freedom...or maybe not?

I’d not interfere with what mine wanted to do unless they lost capacity.

Maybe they’re happy there despite your misgivings and the difficulties, it’d never cross my mind to think my parents should sell their house to loan me money.

Why do they need more space now? They're grown adults if they want to keep the big house and keep working that's their prerogative. Provided they don't ask for lots of help from you. Sounds like you want a 'loan'.

Why do they need more space now? They're grown adults if they want to keep the big house and keep working that's their prerogative. Provided they don't ask for lots of help from you. Sounds like you want a 'loan'.

How old are they op?

Mentioning freeing up money to loan to their children is a little unsavoury.

What do they need to extend for?

I would keep out of it. Their home, their business.

You sound like you really do not like your parents let alone love them and have their best interests at heart

I agree with you, it doesn’t make sense.
they would have more time and money if they sold, whether they gave you money or not it sounds like it would be better for them.

And there it is - or to help their children with a loan

youre not being altruistic or thinking of them - you’re eyeing up some cash

If you want a loan then ask for it. It sounds like that’s your primary issue.

A lot of the ‘benefits’ in this situation are beneficial for the children, not the parents.

I was with you until you said giving you a loan!

I have an elderly uncle who is living in the house he has lived in for years. Nothing wrong with the house, but unsuited to his needs. He really needs to move. His daughter (my cousin) is trying to get him to even consider it, but he won't.

From the outside looking in, we can all see the benefits, and to that extent I agree with you. But at the end of the day, it's your parents home and their money and nothing to do with you how they spend it. You can suggest, or advise, but that's the limit of it.

Thing is people get very attached to their homes!

my grandparents pulled out of the sale of theirs twice when they needed to move because of the emotional attachment to it.

we won’t pay off our mortgage until retirement age and it needs loads of work. If my kids suggested we sell after decades of paying for it I’d be pretty annoyed.

Why do they need more space if they can't keep the space they have "clean" was that a mistype in your hurry to justify getting your hands on their money ?

Also wondering why they need more space. I don't think they are bu though if this is what they want. It's their home and they aren't obliged to give you a loan

to help their children with a loan

You want them to sell their home so you can hit them for a loan?!
Their house, their life. Unless they are lacking capacity, you don’t get a say.

or to help their children with a loan

Aaaaaaaaaand there we have it.

Maybe they can see the pound signs whirring around in their Children’s’ eyes and don’t want to have the money in the bank as they know they’ll start being asked for loans etc…

It’s their house. Maybe they love it, despite it being a bit untidy. Maybe they like the neighbours. Maybe they just can’t face moving to a soulless bungalow like their life is over. Either way unless it is actually dangerous yes YABU, they bought that house themselves and are entitled to live there for as long as they want.

The kids should earn their own money and be proud to live within their means.

So they should sell their house so their adult offspring sponge off Mummy and Daddy?

You sound very envious and somewhat grabby. Maybe supporting their choices would be a better idea

Unless they lack the capacity to make these choices themselves then I would stay out of it - it's two adults making their own financial decisions. Not anyone else's business.

This is contradictory. You say they’re still working but can’t keep the house clean? Unless they have lost capacity or are asking you to do their cleaning and gardening it’s absolutely none of your business. I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to be telling you what to do, the same applies in the other direction.

Love how you're looking for money whilst also being "concerned " about your parents.

They are adults. Stop interfering

What a lovely person you are 🙄

Keep out of it.