Wanting parents to sell home

[bctf123]

I think this is a topic that splits many people down the middle.
My parents house is worth about 400k when the average in the area is 200k or less. Over the years it's needed a lot of maintenance and cost a lot in renovation. Now they need to extend the bungalow for space. The roof needs doing and lots of other things around the house which would in total add upto around 100k

I just feel it's a complete waste of money and hassle. They can't keep the house clean. The large garden is now concreted and used for an annual bbq only and I think it's all just a status symbol
By freeing up 200k for a ready to move in house I feel like it would ease the financial situation, allow for a reduction in working hours and would allow an investment in property or to help their children with a loan

I know all parents think differently so interested to know how people fall on this?
From afar it can look like children begrudging parents their freedom...or maybe not?

If they already live in a bungalow then no they shouldn't sell as this sets them up long term. Not sure why they need to extend for space?

Sounds like you should keep out of your parents finances and not expect them to stump up a house deposit for you because your friends have received that!

Lol op. You one of the kids who wants a loan. Got your eyes on the cash?

for goodness sake. It’s not your house, hands off. It’s awful to try to get them to sell so you can grab some cash.

It seems to be pretty unanimous that you are selfish and money grabbing

OP your post has sunk the bank of Mum & Dad to a whole new level.
appalling on your part

I was literally thinking that, it doesn’t split down the middle at all. It’s appalling to try to get your parents to sell their home and downsize so you can grab their money, utterly appalling.

I don't think you want to improve things for them you want them to free up money for you.
I'd be horrified if I thought my DC were plotting this.

Focus on your own house and don't interfere with your parents decision making unless they ask your opinion. They're grown adults capable of their own choices.

This. Feels grabby.

allow for a reduction in working hours and would allow an investment in property or to help their children with a loan

Away and bile yer heid.

But yeah, why do they need to extend at their age when they can't keep the existing space clean?

It's not up to you to decide your parents should downsize in order to loan you some money 😂

Maybe the parents are thinking about their future if one or both might need residential or nursing care. Selling the current property and buying cheaper and possibly dishing money out to family will leave them with a lot less to help them if they do need care.

£400,000 plus will pay for quite a lot of care costs compared to only £200,000 plus.

My FIL had a large bungalow. He was quite incontinent and had dementia. He had carers visits 4x per day. My husband struggled with the state ( and smell) of the house. The social worker said that as long as he wasn't a danger to himself or other people he was entitled to live exactly as he pleased. He wanted to stay in his house. It was very dated and when he died the concrete floors had to be dug up and replaced because of the smell of urine. He was past caring. He lived like that for 10 years.

Not your business at all. They might want to stay Because a home is more than a house.

YANBU. They’ll be buggered in 10 years if they don’t move now.

Failing to plan for old age is stupid.

My FIL had a large bungalow. He was quite incontinent and had dementia. He had carers visits 4x per day. My husband struggled with the state ( and smell) of the house. The social worker said that as long as he wasn't a danger to himself or other people he was entitled to live exactly as he pleased. He wanted to stay in his house. It was very dated and when he died the concrete floors had to be dug up and replaced because of the smell of urine. He was past caring. He lived like that for 10 years
This described exactly the situation I have seen probably 1000 times in my home care assistant role.
It’s so sad to see.

How old are they?
Is confusing as they’re still working long hours (so middle aged?) but can’t keep their house tidy (made them sound elderly).
You want them to sell a bungalow (even though perfect for aging parents to keep them independent) and buy a house instead (so they’re not frail) and can handle stairs).

Yep, just sounds like you want them to seek up for somewhere cheaper so you can have their money.

You can't even convince MN, I think your parents will see right through you. Maybe someone with their best interests at heart could give them better advice.
If they can't afford to live in their current home, maybe they shoul sell. But they should be planning how to live comfortably in retirement, not looking to give money away

LOL I could understand your reasoning up to or to help their children with a loan 😂

Absolute cheeky fuckery

"or to help their children with a loan" ...

So did you mean to write; you're struggling and need a loan, downsizing would mean profit from their sale would help you?
They might be willing and be happy to do it, but in a roundabout way, this is why you think they should sell.

Do they think "its a complete waste of money and hassle"

It sounds like you want your inheritance, before your inheritance is due. Be careful YOU don't lose your inheritance...

My folks were talking about moving house maybe 30 years ago once we had all left home. When that time came they re-considered as they had been living there for over 40 years and had some very good friends and neighbours so they decided this would make it a hard move to leave and have to re-establish themselves all over again.

At the moment my mam is living alone in a 5 bed and still feels bad about living in a large house which could be used by a large family. But why should she move (from a house which she owns) where she is comfortable and settled and has been for a long time.

On what basis will they be "buggered" in 10 years? The OP says her parents are still working, so probably only in their 60s, who knows maybe even in their 50s? And they already live in a bungalow which they need to extend as it doesn't seem to be large enough even for their needs now, so ushering them into a house which costs half of their current home doesn't seem to meet either existing or future needs!

Daft comment. Why would I need to go to all that trouble if the money was free in the first and I was the one to suggest a loan instead of handout?

Oh come on people!

Thanks for your fair comment and taking the time to read my posts.

My siblings were already assisted. my parents don't have to sell to help us but they are still working people. I guess I mixed up two separate issues. I think the burden of work would be greatly reduced by freeing up equity to enjoy.

With regards to any gifts, I accept having read these comments it is not as common as I thought.
I realised they can't afford it a long time ago when I was being pressured to take out a student loan and hand over grants when they were struggling with the mortgage. I gave over my first bank card with their promise my student grant would be saved rather than risked under my young and naive guardianship- I got it back half empty
I noticed as well the fact that there was no money to maintain the garden and the roof was also leaking which all come with bigger, more expensive houses. There was always work needed but never money for basics

I certainly don't intend to leach. I live in a houseshare and work 3 jobs to save for a house. I also actually loaned them money from my first job for the extension and most of us have lent them money at some point

People get attached to their houses. My parents are not for moving even though it's a huge house with multiple levels and they have poor mobility. Iv talked with them but ultimately their descion and choice