Every man / woman for himself on train

[Nodinnernogift]

I don't think IABU but keen to hear opinions.

I am on my way home on the last train (the very very rare occasion I've been in it has seemed pretty manic) from the city.

I arrived at the platform, it's mobbed - last train from the city. I position myself close to the boundary line.

One man stood beside me also close to the boundary for getting on the train. The rest of his group stood back but regardless it's impossible to say where carriage doors will stop.

I was on his left. The train stopped with the doors close to him on his right, he walked to the door theb made a big show of letting everyone to his right on first holding his left arm out behind him to block me or anyone else on his left. Everyone to his right boarded. He then walked on, positioned himself beside the only remaining table for four then began nodding and pointing to his own group of people behind me. At this point half the people were already on the carriage and either sitting or blocking seats. Most seats were obviously gone because he'd made such a big show of letting everyone in to his right while 'holding back' everyone to his left.

There would never be enough seats for everyone on the last train, the carriage would be filled up with people standing from the city centre.

I walked onto carriage, ignored him pointing to the table to peoole behind me and sat down at the table for four.

His three companions came behind me and the four of them began sitting down, standing up, staring pointedly at me, offering each other a seat, staring at me again - all the while the seats around them disappearing. One of their party could have sat alone.

I'm now surrounded by three seated passengers glaring at me and one stubbornly standing passenger.

AIBU to think if they wanted to sit down they should have made it their business to board and find seats instead of expecting everyone else to acqueise to their 'manners' and wait to see what seats they deemed available!

Yanbu they were being pricks

Well done you - what a dick he was

If they wanted a seat they shouldn't have waited until all the "right" people had boarded. They should have got on and sat down, and let the righties fight the lefties in the usual way. Good for you!

That's very odd behaviour. I can't understand what he was thinking! He made the choice to have a low chance of sitting together by delaying his boarding. That's entirely on him.

Do you mean he was blocking a section of seats for his own family / friends while loads of people were piling onto a train?

Why did you not go round him or just knock his arm out of the way?

I thought you meant the people to his right were his mates and he was letting them all on first, which I would have been cross about. But he let loads of others on first, is that what you mean?

Train wankers.

He should just have either got on the train or not got on it. He shouldn’t be preventing others from boarding and I’d have gone round them or under his arm.

I used to commute by train daily and I knew exactly where the doors would be on the platform edge…..it was an end stop station so the train stopped in exactly the same place (up to the end) and then left backwards. as long as I got there early enough I was in the prime spot and first on! But after that it was everyone for themselves.

I couldn't go round him as there were crowds of people. Knock the arm of a strange man who is likely to have been drinking late at night while I'm alone? You can't be serious.

It was actually such an upsetting journey. I sat drinking water trying to ignore them but they didn't attempt to be subtle. They were whispering about me and loudly guessing where I was getting off the train; I live in the 'poorest' neighbourhood which that train serves. These people were in their 50's! When I got up to leave the two women had fallen asleep (classy) but the two men laughed nastily.

I can see he was annoying, but why make your journey so stressful by deliberately taking one of the table seats ? If you had taken one of the solo seats, you wouldn't have been so immersed in their conversation.

I can’t figure out why you would do this either, sure he is annoying but why put yourself further through this by sitting right next to him

For those saying the OP should have sat somewhere else...

It's obvious she grabbed a seat, and then it became apparent that there was a spare seat somewhere else. Why should she move?

The other party were all granted the luxury of someone stopping others from boarding so they could get on. This is already massively unreasonable. As an adult, OP should be able to sit where she likes without being bullied or feeling uncomfortable. And, the fact that other women joined in is weird. Especially as OP was traveling alone.
It's like parking - if it's a free street, you can't be pissed off because someone parks in the spot that is convenient to you because it's outside your house.
I'm surprised people here are saying OP is in the wrong.

You were travelling alone and deliberately sat at a table for 4 and say that one of a group of 4 could have sat alone. You chose to put yourself in the awkward position, and make your journey difficult for yourself.

He was a dick and you could have got on the train despite him holding you back, but people who sit at a 4 person table seat and aren't either working or in a group are also dicks so I get why they were annoyed at you when there were other seating options

I prefer the table seats, why should I not sit at one just because I’m travelling alone?

Oh don’t be ridiculous. Lots of solo passengers choose to sit at table seats. Anyone can sit where they want for whatever reason. This nob thought he could dictate who got on the train first, this was a clear dominating power play from him, and then thought he could ‘reserve’ seats for his mates.

Good on OP for standing up to this bullying wanker even if it made her journey uncomfortable. Shock news, standing up to bullies usually is uncomfortable but the tremendous people in life do it anyway and OP is one of them.

I'm so glad OP sat there and made a point. I hate braying groups of selfish people who think they are superior and hog space/facilities. Usually also drunk or drinking, loud, spraying perfume, spilling stuff etc. They think lone women are lesser, but we are not.

Also pp, table seats aren't reserved for working people or groups 😅 Get real. On a busy train this doesn't work. Only this week I've had to almost sit on a woman's bag who was reluctant to move it so a human being could have a seat (she did move it). A bit of common sense and politeness from everyone would make the whole miserable experience so much nicer, well done OP for not letting him get away with being so weird.

Sounds like he had given himself the role of being in charge of the carriage. What an arrogant prick.

This
You openly said there were other seats, why sit there knowing you'd annoying somebody you already said was intoxicated

Non issue, he's a dickhead but you created the uncomfortableness at the table yourself

What's wrong with falling asleep on a train?

likely to have been drinking late at night

This may provide a clue to the dick-ish behaviour.

I confess that while I admire your stance, on a busy train I would never even try for a seat in a table for four. I'd prefer the relative privacy of a two seats side by side.

I regularly take long train journeys and often fall asleep. Wasn’t aware this was deemed
inappropriate.

You willingly made life more difficult for
yourself. Yes these people were on
obnoxious, this is a regular occurrence on trains but as there were other seats available I don’t know why you’d put yourself in that position. Sitting on a table with 3 strangers who all know each other is not my idea of a good time.

I haven't thought about it before now but just realised I always avoid sitting in the double seats; I definitely wouldn't sit into them on the train out of the city at midnight as I would feel far too enclosed.

There was one table of four on the other side but a person was already sitting and another person was putting something overhead so inadvertently blocking.

This train is always mobbed and getting a seat at all is not easy, you have to be very quick when you jump on. That's why I was annoyed that he was holding me up while the carriage was rapidly filling up.

He wasn't actually sitting down before me, he was standing beside the table for four at the far seat and pointing to his friends. I sat down on the window seat and that's when all the dramatics started.

Of course you can sit wherever you like on a train with unreserved seats. It's still a dick move as it's inconsiderate, surely you can see that?