Every man / woman for himself on train

[Nodinnernogift]

I don't think IABU but keen to hear opinions.

I am on my way home on the last train (the very very rare occasion I've been in it has seemed pretty manic) from the city.

I arrived at the platform, it's mobbed - last train from the city. I position myself close to the boundary line.

One man stood beside me also close to the boundary for getting on the train. The rest of his group stood back but regardless it's impossible to say where carriage doors will stop.

I was on his left. The train stopped with the doors close to him on his right, he walked to the door theb made a big show of letting everyone to his right on first holding his left arm out behind him to block me or anyone else on his left. Everyone to his right boarded. He then walked on, positioned himself beside the only remaining table for four then began nodding and pointing to his own group of people behind me. At this point half the people were already on the carriage and either sitting or blocking seats. Most seats were obviously gone because he'd made such a big show of letting everyone in to his right while 'holding back' everyone to his left.

There would never be enough seats for everyone on the last train, the carriage would be filled up with people standing from the city centre.

I walked onto carriage, ignored him pointing to the table to peoole behind me and sat down at the table for four.

His three companions came behind me and the four of them began sitting down, standing up, staring pointedly at me, offering each other a seat, staring at me again - all the while the seats around them disappearing. One of their party could have sat alone.

I'm now surrounded by three seated passengers glaring at me and one stubbornly standing passenger.

AIBU to think if they wanted to sit down they should have made it their business to board and find seats instead of expecting everyone else to acqueise to their 'manners' and wait to see what seats they deemed available!

It’s no big deal for a party of four adults not to get to sit together on public transport, in fact it’s entirely normal. They are grown adults and perfectly able to sit separately rather than expecting the rest of the world to move to accommodate them. It’s extraordinarily entitled to expect other people to do so.

You carry on thinking everyone should prioritize what you might want when getting a seat in a public space though.

Oh do one.

YANBU.

Is everyone forgetting that these are grown adults perfectly capable of sitting apart for a relatively short duration of time? Or do 50-somethings need their hands held?

The seats weren’t reserved. They’re a first come, first served basis. Their behaviour was appalling and immature. Heaven forbid they don’t get what they want!

The first guy was a Prick with a capital P and the rest showed why they were his friends. Birds or a feather flock together.

Ok I am going to try to paint a picture of what this train is like;

It's the last train out of the city on a Saturday night. It arrives empty to the always packed platform, the crowds all press on in a bit of a panic with everyone doing a dash for seats but many people end up standing.

The train leaves the city with no stops for the first 20 mins and for the vast majority of the trip people are getting off instead of getting on so as the train empties somewhat.

Basically it's all a bit of a frenzied nightmare at times. Them assuming they'd get seats at all nevermind together after the leisurely boarding was odd.

Again I couldn't have even known the man had three people with him as they were behind me.

To the pp asking why I'm worrying about it, it felt horrible to be on the receiving end of blatant contempt and sneering.

All these suggestions of me politely getting up to swap to another table make sense in a different situation; for example I often get regional trains up and down the country when most people are seated and more choosing goes on.

I see why you don't give a fuck where you sit or what anyone thinks about it 😂

It's not a case of where you sit on this train it's if you sit.

Oh boy. That's all I got 🤪

You mention that you couldn't have known the man had people behind you.

But you also said

' He then walked on, positioned himself beside the only remaining table for four then began nodding and pointing to his own group of people behind me.

I walked onto carriage, ignored him pointing to the table to peoole behind me and sat down at the table for four.'

So you did sit there knowing there was people behind him. Yes he was being a dick, but you really didn't need to do this. And then to sit through the journey uncomfortable.

Op isn't Mystic Meg with a crystal ball. Was he pointing to one other person? Was he pointing to ten people? Were they in uniform?

How the fuck was op meant to know how many people he was traveling with?

I knew he had someone with him yes, I couldn't have known how many. I'd stepped onto the carriage and turned left as i had seen seats and hoped there would still be something available. In that section there were two tables of four and four two seaters.

The table of four on my left had a person sitting man standing in front of it blocking it while he took out his laptop bag.

The table on my right had a man standing beside the far seat yes pointing at the seat. Instead of standing in the aisle blocking the crowds I quickly moved into the window seat of the seat facing him. It was only as I was mid manoeuvre I saw his facial expression turn to outrage. Then the other three crowded around and a very pointed and angry debate about who should get the seats ensued. They all kept getting up and insisting the other take it all the while openly glaring at me. I changed my mind at this stage about offering to move back out of the table as initially I couldn't get a word in then I didn't want to speak to them as they seemed exceptionally horrible.

Then remaining man stood in the aisle facing the table instead of sitting on the available (for a while) seat directly behind him shaking his head at me and talking about me to the other three.

Yanbu. I was on the last train out of London yesterday and was surprised how busy it was. Lots of people standing. I was on a table seating 4 and the person opposite me had all his bags on the seat near the window and was sat in the isle seat. He acted extremely put out when asked to move his bags. Then that person got off after a few stops so he happily repositioned his bags on the 'spare' seat. But there were so many people still standing so someone obviously asked for the seat. Then he acted huffy again having to move them and stand up, ushering them into the window seat instead of moving up himself.

Yes exactly this sort of thing.

This gets more dramatic by the minute. Now he's become outraged. You keep emphasising how busy the train was and how hard it is to get seats, then talk about seats being available for a while (although this whole major incident was probably over within a minute).

Sounds like a normal day on most routes. Have you ever tried GWR with 3 carriages between Cardiff and Portsmouth on a matchday? That would give you the hee bee geebies.

I get on my train weekly to go home. Aim for a table and sleep. If someone wants to join me whilst I dribble and snore they’re more than welcome. I prebook and sometimes manage a first class seat for just a couple of quid extra. I sleep as I’m travelling home after getting up at 5am then will be dealing with 2 small children. I never worry whether it’s ‘classy’.

A seat is a seat. Table or not.

Really? Everyday people sit talking about you, sneering and speculating where you are from because you committed the crime of sitting in an available seat?

This might not be the situation here but I’ve done similar to that man everybody on platform waiting
there’s markers where it stops short platform so you know where doors are
everyone orderly waiting woman from no where pushed in front of everyone waiting right to the yellow line at front
I blocked her path letting loads on first

Could you please point me to where the single seats are, then I'll try and use them. In my experience, most seats are arranged in twos or fours.

This gave me food for thought but no, not the case. There are no markers and the entire platform was full along the yellow line. I didn't know where the carriage would stop, perhaps more frequent travellers would.

I wouldn't block someone however even if I thought they were being rude - perhaps she didn't realise? I'd either inwardly roll my eyes or else say to her that there is a queue.

I'd have pushed his fucking arm out the way and got on.

YANBU.

On a busy train with everyone boarding at once you sit where you can, and if you are next to your mates that's strictly a bonus. You don't get to reserve seats for people getting on behind you.

Sorry to say OP you seem to have woken up the Mumsnet arsehole contingent with this thread. There really are a couple of real corkers trying to make you the bad guy in this scenario. Laughable really!!

You did nothing unreasonable at all and the behavior of the man and his friends was out of order and spiteful. Not to worry about the sneering at your station though, the only thing they managed to highlight is what utter cunts they were, and anyway places with a "reputation" today will be gentrified and out of their price range in no time. 😉

Not the same but this week I went to London ( I rarely go and I live approximately 25 mins away on train and I had my ticket bought a weeks in advance with a pre -booked seat.
When I got on the train and located my seat it was in the double seats by the window.
A man was sitting on the outside seat with his bags, opened laptop, phone, earphones, laptop bag all was spread put on my pre-booked seat.
I told him politely with smile : hi, I’m think that’s my seat by the window and he just looked at me like I bother him!
He wouldn’t move or anything so I offered to sit behind him there was a empty seat and the train was the fast train with no further stops until Kings cross where I was getting out, however that other seat was taken ( the person was on the toilet as someone else sitting nearby pointed out, so I again said to the man, excuse can I just move to my seat?
He awkwardly stood up, hissing and tatting, moving all his crap away from my seat and let me slide in.
I must add he wasn’t any moody teenager but reputable looking man in his 50s in his suit ( someone’s important boss)
After about 10 mins ( the journey takes apprx 22-25 mins) he stood up and left, God knows where, as the train did not stopped for another 10 mins!

You've never done the 'someone pushed me' routine? Fair enough.

Why is it a dick move? Should I be penalised because I travel alone? Surely it’s just as dick a move sitting in chairs without a table, a couple may want to sit together. Or perhaps I should just stand the whole way and not take a precious seat away from people who want to sit together! If I pay for a train ticket I can choose where I want to sit if there are seats available!

Obviously we should stand as we travel alone, don’t want to be taking precious seats away from couples and groups 🙄