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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think closing times shouldn’t be treated as an estimate? Disagreement with friend AIBU

174 replies

friendship1234 · 17/06/2023 21:35

i have been friends with this woman for about two months, met her at work as I recently started a new job.

so, we went out shopping today, to pick up stuff for the kids and just have a browse really. We had a really good time and it was about five to six and we were almost ready to head home. Friend says to me “oh let’s just go into xyz shop” (think discount store like b&m or something.)
I say okay, we go towards the door and I see on the sign they close at 6. I say to her “oh they’re closing in five minutes, do you want to come back another day?”

she goes “oh it’s okay, I only need a few bits” so I’m like okay and we go in. There’s a worker standing at the door telling people that they close soon.

Friend takes a trolley, that should have been my first clue. Im like, maybe she just wants a couple of larger items.
basically, she goes round the shop browsing each aisle as slow as humanly possible it seems like, grabbing stuff off the shelves, comparing prices, asking me whether or not she should buy xyz, etc etc.

well at 6 a staff member goes on the tannoy and does the close announcement, friend is still browsing without a care in the world. I say to her “oh they’re closing now, let’s go to the till” and she goes “well I haven’t finished shopping” in an almost confused voice.

I say to her “I know but the tills are closing and the staff probably want to go home”

her response? “I’m sure they have staff that stay later”

I’ve only known this woman 2 months and I’ve never really see this side of her before so I was a bit shocked really. Anyway, I’m kind of trying to walk faster in the hope that she’ll hurry up and go to the tills. 6.04 a staff member comes down the aisles and is like, we’re closed now so could you please make your way to the tills” my friend goes “oh, excuse me” and then starts asking him if they have any more of something out the back!!! I gave this guy an apologetic look and was like “they’re closed, you can come back another day and ask” and my “friend” goes “I came in the door before 6pm. I came in before closing time, so I’m entitled to be here” and gives me a dirty look I think for not backing her up.

im shellshocked at this point really and I didn’t say anything as I had no idea this is how she behaved and I was really in shock.

The (lovely) store employee basically tells her politely that the tills will be closing imminently so if she wants to buy her shopping, she needs to go and pay now.

Well she huffs, goes (slowly) towards the tills, and I’m just standing there waiting for her to pay so we can leave. I would have waited outside but they’d closed the doors at that point so we needed to wait to be let out!
At the till, friend:
-argues about prices (“the label on the shelf said xyz”
-decides she doesn’t want a few things after all and leaves them at the till
-decides she HAS to buy a bottle of gin which is in a locked cabinet by the tills (I don’t know how the staff were keeping a straight face by this point, I was staring at the floor in second hand embarrassment)

then she takes AGES to get her money out of her wallet, faffs around with small change when she could have just given a 20 and be done with it, decides she wants carrier bags which have to be put through seperately, and FINALLY leaves. At 21 minutes past closing time, all in all. I actually apologised to the staff on the way out.

so once we got out of the shop we got into an argument over this, I said to her I can’t believe you acted that way and she shrugs and says well if you go in the shop before closing time it’s fine, it’s just an estimate not an exact science. She said she was annoyed at me for apologising for her, which she said made her “feel like the bad guy” I was like yeah because you were acting entitled.

basically, wibu to distance myself from her from now on? She has form for being a bit self absorbed but this seemed like a new level of entitlement! I just feel bad for the poor shop staff really. “Friend” says that she used to work in retail and that it really wasn’t an issue and that I was being dramatic and holier than thou. Aibu??

OP posts:
Sorchamarie · 17/06/2023 21:38

Definitely not unreasonable to stay away from this horrible sounding woman!

Chickenkeev · 17/06/2023 21:39

Yabu ( a bit dramatic) but she sounds v inconsiderate tbf.

UsingChangeofName · 17/06/2023 21:41

She was being incredibly unreasonable.

Bad enough (although not unreasonable) to run in to directly pick up one item if needed that night, with huge apologies to the staff, but her behaviour was appalling.
I would have told her that at the time and backed the shop staff up though.

Chickenkeev · 17/06/2023 21:43

UsingChangeofName · 17/06/2023 21:41

She was being incredibly unreasonable.

Bad enough (although not unreasonable) to run in to directly pick up one item if needed that night, with huge apologies to the staff, but her behaviour was appalling.
I would have told her that at the time and backed the shop staff up though.

It's the 'joy' of retail though. Twas ever thus and what not. Some people are just dicks.

Ilikewinter · 17/06/2023 21:45

Yep shes a total twat. I used to be a retail manager and would set the tills to shut off 5 minutes after closing time. If youre still browsing then its tough.

hattyhathat · 17/06/2023 21:46

She is absolutely unreasonable and I would have walked out at 6 if I were you.

PriamFarrl · 17/06/2023 21:46

You can tell a lot about a person based on how they treat shop staff, waiters and animals. I would have to reconsider my friendship.

Chickenkeev · 17/06/2023 21:47

As an aside, try being in charge of giving out turkies at christmas! People would be nearly climbing over the counter at you, it was terrifying!

Mtande · 17/06/2023 21:51

When I worked in retail (various chains and supermarkets) many years ago our store hours factored in another 20 minutes in terms of pay, planning and so on so it wouldn't have been an issue. Similar to last orders at the bar. I don't think they do now though. Most of the shops near me actually close slightly early so that staff can finish on the dot - b&m won't even let you in if you arrive less than 15 minutes to closing - they barricade the doors with trollies lol, it's all very uptight.

Your friend maybe doesn't understand how buttoned down it all is now, and she does sound a pita, but you know, she's spending her hard earned. You sound quite dramatic though and if you want to ditch someone over such then do so; you're obviously quite different people.

Chickenkeev · 17/06/2023 21:52

PriamFarrl · 17/06/2023 21:46

You can tell a lot about a person based on how they treat shop staff, waiters and animals. I would have to reconsider my friendship.

While i absolutely agree about animals, you can also tell a huge amount about someone from how they treat service staff. i f**cking despise people who are rude to service staff. Manners cost nothing.

Alibaba87 · 17/06/2023 21:55

Going in the shop for the last five is fine, but I wouldn’t have bought anything unless super quick. TBH when I used to shut up a shop I got annoyed at people coming in 20 mins before, let alone 5 😂(I was 16 at the time so excuse bratty attitude!)

As someone above says, you can tell a lot about someone as to how they treat retail staff, waiters etc.

I guess you’d just naturally drift apart from both sides.

Mtande · 17/06/2023 21:56

Retail workers aren't animals btw.

Chickenkeev · 17/06/2023 21:56

PriamFarrl · 17/06/2023 21:46

You can tell a lot about a person based on how they treat shop staff, waiters and animals. I would have to reconsider my friendship.

I got so angry i failed to notice you were saying the same as me. So sorry, and ignore me! I'll go back to my wallowing ;)

SisterAgatha · 17/06/2023 21:58

I thought this was going to be the other way round where places say they are open till 6, then when you arrive at 4 they say “would you like a take away cup, we close in 5 mins”. Even my loca costa does this!

IfYouDontAsk · 17/06/2023 21:59

Ugh I would honestly ditch a friendship over this. I wouldn’t care how many other wonderful qualities she had, her total disregard for the poor staff in that shop would be something I couldn’t see past.

WhispersOfWickedness · 17/06/2023 22:01

I worked in a high street store many years ago and we weren't paid after closing time, so every single day I would do 20 mins extra work for no pay due to customers like her...

Mtande · 17/06/2023 22:04

SisterAgatha · 17/06/2023 21:58

I thought this was going to be the other way round where places say they are open till 6, then when you arrive at 4 they say “would you like a take away cup, we close in 5 mins”. Even my loca costa does this!

Lol yes advertised opening hours are erm 'flexible' shortways round here too. It's probably because of lack of staff but it can be a pain. It's not even as of you can just ring to check they are open when you suddenly discover you need an emergency tin of treacle for cooking class the next day thanks DS because it's all centralised numbers and massive 50 stage phone menus and if you do get through to a person they don't know exact store times any more than what you yourself can see on google.

70sTomboy · 17/06/2023 22:05

The woman was an arse! Employees rarely are paid beyond shop shut time. I would have been fuming.

I'd be getting rid of her as a friend and telling her why.

neverenoughchelseaboots · 17/06/2023 22:06

I used to work in a card shop and the shutter was 10 inches open at closing time on Christmas Eve, ready to lift for those sorts of people.

A man tried rolling under it to be hollered at by my manager ‘I don’t care if you’re pregnant on a donkey, we’re closed.’

Mtande · 17/06/2023 22:10

Gosh

MammaTo · 17/06/2023 22:10

No I’d get shut of her asap.

Worst type of humans are the ones who are rude to staff.

I’ve always said everyone should have to do National Service in a customer facing role to experience how hard dealing with the public is.

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 17/06/2023 22:12

My DD works in retail (clothing) and she says it's common for people to try to get to the changing rooms with arms full of outfits just before closing. Then they leave a huge mess which has to be cleared up before they go. They've now started shutting the changing rooms early to stop this behaviour.

What does your (hopefully ex) friend do for a living? I wonder how she'd feel if she was being expected to work an additional 20 -30 mins past clocking off time due to entitled customers/clients?

70sTomboy · 17/06/2023 22:15

Retail employees should be allowed to speak their mind to pricks like this once the shop is officially closed and its on their time without comeback from employers!
Mind you, I have worked with an older member of staff(past retirement)who told one customer trying to come in at 2 minutes to closing, 'no chance mate, fuck off and come back another time, you have 10 hours a day, 6 days a week to get what you want, not my problem you are piss poor organised'
I was 😯 but the customer didn't complain.

EvilElsa · 17/06/2023 22:17

I'd have told her I'd wait outside at 6pm and walked out. I'd have been embarrassed being with her.

Tracker1234 · 17/06/2023 22:18

DS used to work at Waitrose and there was one middle aged man every sodding Saturday who would come in a 2055 and wheel this trolley without a care. The announcement of closing was ignored and despite supervisors asking him to make his way to the tills he wouldn’t and faffed around. Total knob!